SarahLou Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Hello guys, I'm feeling really frustrated with myself today. Last night we went to a friends surprise party. It's the first time since my SAH that I've been to something like this... Lots of people, loud music, bright disco lights. I thought I'd cope ok, I've been coping better with other social events. I went with my trusty survival kit (ear plugs, sunglasses etc!) and as soon as I got there I checked out places I could escape to for a little break if needed. I coped ok for a couple of hours, sat as far from the DJ as I could, had my back turned as much as I could to all the lights that were flashing around the room. The music volume was a bit lower at first. Coped fine chatting with people. Then after the buffet, up went the music and lots of people dancing. My dear friend begged me to dance with her , she knows I've always loved dancing, but I had to explain that since my SAH that's something I can't do now. Thankfully I can happily dance around my own living room, but not when there's loud music, lights and big crowds of people. That made me a bit teary, but she held my hand and said although I may not of got that back, I have got lots of other things back. I was starting to feel rather drained and knew I'd have to leave soon, said to the hub that I'd like to go soon, was in the middle of holding a conversation when my brain went into shut down. Just like that. I looked at the hub, who said 'we're going now'.... I couldn't get my words out, couldn't walk properly and felt ashamed of this. I knew anyone looking at me would think I was drunk. It's normally just my hub and Miss C who see me when my brain goes into shut down like that so I'm sure it was a bit of a shock to some. Once I'd got home it took about an hour of being in peace and quiet for my brain to calm down a bit. Today my whole head is so full of pains. My emotions are all over the place. I want to cry, scream and stamp my feet! But I also know that it's ok to feel like this. It will not stop me from trying to get 'normal' back. The frustrations we feel following SAH are such a challenge. Big deep breath..... Bring it on! Take care, SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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