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Tony H

Second anniversary today

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Two years today since my out of the blue life changing event. Once again I am motivated to post on BTG just in case something I write is helpful to someone else.

Like many on BTG I had unrelenting head pain and profound fatigue for a long time after my bleed. Other symptoms seemed important at the time but not now.

The head pain is mostly at a low level these days such that I am only motivated to grab some analgesics when I have over done it. My head still does not feel normal, as best as I can remember normal, but how it feels is not dominating my day like it used to. I have not felt the need to sleep during the day for months.

My capacity to work and just do the things that we do is probably at about 60% of my pre-bleed capacity. As many BTG'ers have said would happen, I continue to improve with time, albeit at a seemingly glacial pace.

So what have I learned in the last 2 years?

I have learned that it is ok to take life at a slower pace and not feel that every spare moment needs to be filled with doing something productive. And it is ok to just take some quiet time by myself with no music, radio, TV, computer or other noise or distraction to give my brain a rest.

Also I have learned that pacing myself is better than trying to push on, and I am better now at spotting when I need to back off. If I overdo it I pay, sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks.

And I have discovered that the medical profession is very caring and supportive but knows little about what to expect in recovery from SAH. Recovery is a long journey and one that requires careful listening to ones body, and brain. It is a unique life lesson for me to learn.

And I have learned that there is nothing like BTG for people who want to find answers to the many questions that emerge at different stages of recovery from SAH.

Most importantly I have learned that there are some wonderful, generous people on BTG who have a unique understanding of what we go through and I feel fortunate to have been able to join this community. I am so grateful for the support that I have received from BTG and for Karen's ongoing commitment to this website and all her friendly helpers who just keep giving.

Best wishes to all.

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Tony it's lovely to hear how you are doing I really hope you continue to improve.

Jess.xxx

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Tony ...Congratulations on your 2nd year Anni-versary!

Thank you so much for taking the time to post and let us know how you are doing and how things have improved over the last two years :-D

Your post will help many on here and give them lots of positive inspiration !

Hope you have a lovely day celebrating life...take care :-D

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Tony, congratulations on your 2nd anni-versary.

Thank you for coming back to report your progress and what you have learnt along the way. It will be a massive help to others who are unfortunate enough to find themselves in the same situation.

Pleased that you found BTG very helpful and thank you very much for the compliments.

Without the foresight and hard work (that is still continuing) of Karen all those years ago it would not be here,

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Hi Tony and congratulations on your 2nd anni-versary! :-D

I found the first couple of years post SAH the hardest and it was probably at this stage where I realised that I wouldn't perhaps get back to my old "normal".

However, I became more accepting of my new "normal" and stopped pushing so hard and I think that the 2 year anni-versary is quite an important one. You sum it up nicely with

I have learned that it is ok to take life at a slower pace and not feel that every spare moment needs to be filled with doing something productive. And it is ok to just take some quiet time by myself with no music, radio, TV, computer or other noise or distraction to give my brain a rest.

It is a difficult journey but easier to bear when you have others around you that are walking the same path and know exactly how you're feeling and help make sense of it all.

It's always great to see members return and post their progress on here and it gives hope. Thank you for your kind words about the site and I'm really glad that you've found it helpful. :-D

Keep well,

xx

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Well Done Tony,

Keep going.

Best wishes

WinB143 xx

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Hi Tony,

I am 13 months in and your post is very insightful and gives me hope. You are the second person in the last two weeks to say it is important to pace yourself. Thank you. It's like we are in a race with ourselves sometimes.

Iola

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Thank you kindly for your messages Jess, Tina, Penny, Karen, WinB143 and Iola.

You are right Karen that being able to share with others is so helpful - and without BTG that would be almost impossible for me because of where we live.

Iola, you picked up on the pacing issue. It is something that I and others seem to struggle with. After 2 years I feel that I have experienced enough of the downsides of pushing on to know that on balance it is better to avoid going too hard.

Sometimes when engrossed in the job, or whatever it is that I am doing, it is easy to not pay attention to how I am going. That is precisely when I should be focussing on the sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle signs (for me that is stumbling, having trouble concentrating, making mistakes, head pain etc).

It all comes back to the advice that many wise folks on BTG give to new members about being kind to yourself. I was a bit slow working out what this really means.

Best wishes

Tony

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I'm a bit late but - Happy Anni versary Tony!

The two year mark seems to be an important turning point. It's a place where we can understand more about what's happened, to realise what's changed, perhaps come to terms with the losses and gains and re-evaluate a little.

This part of your post struck a chord with me: 'I have learned that it is ok to take life at a slower pace and not feel that every spare moment needs to be filled with doing something productive'. Your post was very timely for me as I have a tendency to feel that if I'm awake, I should be doing something.

It is always good to hear about others' experiences x

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