Sharon pepper

[Sharon pepper]

Hello,

Partner had a SAH 2 weeks ago. Had surgery coiling which went well.

he is at home, just not what I was expecting.

Has pain at bottom of back, very moody, shouting and swearing, throwing things.

Advice please

 

[ClareM]

Hi Sharon

 

Welcome to BTG sorry to hear your partner has suffered a SAH. 

Very early days for him. The pain at the bottom of his back is probably due to the blood dissipating and will subside in time.  He is probably very frustrated and bewildered. Just bear with him. Plenty of rest, quiet and lots of water. 

 

Hopefully he will improve in a few days. 

I am sure other members will be commenting soon with helpful advice. You are not alone. 

 

Clare xx

[Skippy]

Hi Sharon

 

As Clare said, very early on in recovery.  He'll be frightened, angry, frustrated and confused.  I know I was extremely angry in the beginning.  Pain in his back could be from a lumber puncture if he had one as well as blood dissipating as Clare said.

 

Patience is a virtue - for both of you.  Plenty of water is essential right now as is rest.

[Macca]

Hi Sharon,

 

First of all, welcome to BTG - glad you found us.

 

The first thing is to say that he is home and you must be pleased about that because many of us were in hospital for longer periods before being allowed home.

 

Your husband is probably wondering what hit him and it has floored him.  He will be a pent up mixture of emotions at the moment and he probably can't explain it himself yet.  The things you describe are quite common amongst those who suffer SAH.  Hopefully, over time things will calm down as he comes to terms with what happened.

 

He will be realising, much against his innermost thoughts, that he cannot do what he took for granted before.  That will be upsetting, will make him angry, will frustrate him.  The main reason is that he can't control it and at the moment he can't do anything about it.

 

The main thing is for him to rest, and rest properly, at the moment and allow the brain and his body to come to terms with what has happened to him.

 

Over time he will learn to do a lot of what he did before but, perhaps, in a different way. 

 

Time seems to be the biggest healer in all of this.

 

I would say to you to keep talking to him, understand that although he may look the same as he did before, his inner workings have suffered a big blow that you cannot see in much the same way as you can't see a submarine but you know it's there.

 

I don't know about the pain at the bottom of his back so you need to see a doctor about that.  It might not be related at all.  Did he have a lumbar puncture?  If he did, then perhaps that pain is an after effect and it may subside again over time.  The pain may account for some of his frustration and irritability so seeing the doctor is your best bet, as we can't give medical advice, not because we wouldn't want to, but because we are not doctors and, therefore, are not qualified to do so.

 

It is very early days for your husband and I did all of the things you describe when I came out of my coma, but I am largely ok now, so there is hope.

 

I reiterate that time and your understanding are two of the best things you can give him right now.

 

Patience is a virtue and although what he is doing at the moment is probably a little unpleasant to handle currently, he can't help it or control it, so the best thing to do is to give him the time and space to work through this in his own time.  You be there for him when he needs you, even if he doesn't realise it himself just yet.

 

When he is in his better moods, talk to him about the issues you have raised with us - work with him, not against him.  Realise also that he will tire really quickly at the moment, so short talks are best and then let him rest.

 

Also, a good idea is to keep a diary so that you can chart progress.  It's a bit like when you see somebody after a period of time and you say "Wow you've lost weight" but if you had been in their presence all the time you wouldn't have noticed it. With brain injuries progress comes in small steps over a prolonged period, so that diary will be a journal of his recovery process.

 

When he is well enough, ask your husband to look at this site. He, like many others, will benefit from it I'm sure.

 

Let us know how you get on.

 

Best wishes,

 

Macca

[Tina]

Hi Sharon

 

A very warm welcome to you and your partner. So glad you found BTG.

Some great advice above from the others. It really is patience, rest rest and more rest and plenty of water. Two weeks is so very early in your partners recovery.

 

You will find a wealth of information here and lots of friendly support for you both.

Keep in touch, take care.

 

Tina xx 

[Winb143]

Hi Sharon,

 

Hubs is more than likely feeling vunerable at the moment but he shouldn't take it out on you !!

He has realised that he is not invincible.

 

When I woke up after being in Dreamland for an age I started to prepare for my funeral as I thought this is it  lol xx

 

I joke but it 's scary when you find that you could have died as I had Ventriculitis, UTI, Sepsis and still struggle to walk.

 

I got back ache real bad and it stops me walking xx All I can say is talk to him, I found singing happy songs cheered me up.

 

He has to learn there is life after a SAH.  You have been scared witless also.  Get him out the house even if it's for a coffee decaff !!  

All the Best

Win xx xx  Tell him to type on here as he will see there are others also and we are still living xxxx Good  luck

[Sharon pepper]

Thanks for the comments been a good  support x will take one step at a time x

[Chelle C]

Hi Sharon,

Welcome to BTG, sorry your partner's had an SAH it's still early days in his recovery, as was said the pain in his back could be from blood dissipating, I know I had a lot of back and leg pain after mine, but we are all different so have a word with GP if you are worried.

 

Try and get him to drink plenty of water as staying well hydrated helps with headaches, and rest is essential his body and brain have suffered trauma they both need time to recover, the recovery road can be a bumpy one, try taking it one day at a time.

 

Then there is you, try and make sure you look after yourself also, you are going through this with him, you will have got a shock when it happened.

We are here when you need us, we will help you through this, you have come to the right place for support and advice.

 

Wishing you both good luck as you start your recovery journey.

Love

Michelle x