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Please help: Dad not speaking after operation


Guest wilko74

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Guest wilko74

Hi again everyone. I'm SO sorry I've been AWOL but to be perfectly honest, life - and exhaustion - took over, meaning I haven't been online very much at all until literally today, but I would like to thank you again for the kind support many of you gave me at what was the most difficult of times.

Nine weeks from the collapse and insertion of the permanent drain/shunt, my father is doing as well as can perhaps be expected, speaking a little bit now although a lot of it is whispered - it's as if he's lost his confidence - and I'd say about 90% is still garbled....but we have to keep hoping he'll improve with more words. He certainly recognises us (his family), which is wonderful to know, is even giving us kisses and waving when we leave his bedside.

A 'funny' (i.e. strange) thing has started to happen, which we're intrigued about. Last week my father was sleeping a lot of the time - he was only awake, say, 3 times out of 7 visits. Now he's awake whenever we visit - every time for five consecutive days - but sometimes it's as if he's in a trance as his breathing is heavy and he seems in a world of his own. I don't know if this is a normal thing but we've come to the conclusion it's as if he's got his eyes open but is actually asleep. I suppose none of us will ever fully understand what's happening when it comes to such a complex organ as the brain.

Anyway, I did just want to post an update now I've finally returned.

I do hope you can forgive my silence caused by nothing more than simple exhaustion (the likes of which I've never felt - and hope never to feel again. I'm sure the families and loved ones of others appreciate what it was like).

Very kindest regards,

Joanne

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Hi Joanne :D It is good to hear from you......so glad that your Dad is showing improvement and you certainly don't need to apologise for not being on line.... it is totally understandable you are exhausted. I really hope you are feeling better, remember to take care of yourself as well Joanne.

Love Tina xx

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Hello Joanne, It's good to have you back in circulation, don't ever worry about any abscences, we do all understand, fatigue and exhaustion you can be sure. It's just good to know that you are feeling more like yourself again and have regained your breath, so to speak :) Good too to hear that your father is making progress, try not to fret too much about the slow pace, brains do seem to take a long time to heal.Your father will appreciate you all for the support you are giving, I know I did once I was recovered enough to communicate and understand what was going on. It must be so hard to have to wait and watch, I sometimes think that at least in the earlier weeks we ( the survivors) are not aware of the traumas of the whole thing but those of you who are carers get the tough part, waiting and feeling useless :( Support is never useless, keep hoping and help your father to feel that hope too :) Good Luck with all you have to do and learn :)

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Hi Joanne

Really glad to hear that your Dad is steadily improving. Your Dads weird moments could just be overload sometimes if there is too much noise, stimulation the brain can go into overload and just cuts out for a while.

I know I used to do it frequently early on in my recovery and still do from time to time when overtired. My husband and daughters just call them my spaced out moments (lights on but no-one at home).

Hope that you are now taking time to rest a bit more and look after yourself.

Janet x

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Hi Joanne,

I agree with Janet ..... even after 3 years, I find that over stimulation of the senses, long conversations etc are still difficult to deal with and I can only normally manage a good couple of hours of socialising, before I can feel myself starting to shut down. There's not much warning, I just seem to come to a full stop with everything, can't find the right words to use, say things back to front and generally can't think straight.

One of my main frustrations, is with my speech and saying something like "par carking" instead of "car parking" .... I do that type of thing a lot when I'm tired....the other day, I asked my daughter to "put the wardrobe in the clothes"...instead of "put the clothes in the wardrobe"... most days I'll just laugh at myself, but it can be embarrassing when speaking to people that don't know you. If I give myself a time out break for 10 minutes or so, then I seem to be okay again.

Nice to hear from you and glad that you're seeing improvement with your Dad. Look after yourself too. xx

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HI JOANN

I FIND MYSELF KNOWING WHAT I WANT TO SAY BUT IT DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY THERE IS A PAUSE. I ALSO FIND MY VOICE GETS STRAINED AND GETS A HIGH PITCH TO IT.

THIS HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER MY EVENT AND IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO GET IT UNDER CONTROL IT WAS DICOVERED THAT MY BREATHING WAS TO SHALLOW SO IF I TOOK A DEEP BREATH MY WORDS WOULD COME OUT CLEAR. STRANGE THING.

XXX EVELYN :mrgreen:

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Hi there

nice to hear from you again, and no need to apologise for not being intouch its natural it all catches up none of us can wither able or not. (hope that makes sense) :roll:

but ditto what the rest have said......I used to just switch off Ronnie said I was on re-charge (of my battery)

sending hugs

Louise.xx

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Hi Joanne

So glad that your father is improving. But like the others have said - no need to apologise for your absence - you have a lot to deal with so concentrate on that - we'll always be here when you need us.

Take care hun - sending you, your dad and family a huge hug,

Love Sami xxx

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hi joanne

try not to worry about dads breathing this is normal my lin is doing the same its the brain triggering the deep breathing but in deep breathing he is excersieing the rest of his lungs as people are recumbernt in bed they only use the top half of their lungs so it is a good sign lins eyes are open but i think she is there it just as karen says the brain is taking a break as it heals when you see him next ask him to blink if he can hear you i asked lin to blink once for no and a double blink for yes ad the kick i get from seeing her blink twice worked magic for me and as everyone is telling me its a long old haul to better health i wish you and dad a speedy recovery well as much as he is capable of in his own time best wishs

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Guest ElaineW

Hi Joanne - great news to hear that your dad is progressing. I have been wondering a lot about you both. My mum used to sleep with both eyes partly open which looked really spooky so i can comprehend with what you are talking about. It's just the best feeling in thw world when you know they at least recognise you and I am sure his speech will improve over time. Try to make sure you have some time to yourself which I know at times seems impossible. I have just been away for a week as I felt I was going to drop. Mum has been fine and I am sure your dad will too. Lovely to hear from you again.

Elaine

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