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Gem91

New here, dad had a massive SAH

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Hello everyone,

I can’t actually believe I haven’t thought to look and see if there were any forums or support groups on SAH’s before now! I’ve had a browse through some posts (it’s past my bedtime but after visiting dad today my mind is on overdrive) and I’ll definitely need to have an in depth read tomorrow, you all seem like such a lovely bunch.

 

My dad had a catastrophic SAH nearly 9 weeks ago. I actually can’t believe he survived but he’s still here plodding along despite many complications, vasospasm, a tracheostomy and recurring infections. He’s been ‘awake’ for about 7 weeks but neurologically hasn’t made much development since then. I don’t even know if he knows I’m there. Some days he seems more present than others.

 

He can’t speak yet, or respond, or indicate he understands anything. The last 2 weeks he’s been a bit more responsive, turning his head more, moving his left hand, looking around, if you make a loud noise he sometimes looks towards it.

 

i know it’s a long, long road and everyone recovers at their own pace, and it’s really impossible to know how each individual will recover if at all. You try to figure out what the next step is but all the doctors can (understandably) tell you is “we have to see how he goes”.

 

 I’m really struggling mentally with it. We’ve had a difficult relationship but at the end of the day he’s my dad and I love him, it just adds to the heartache of it all. That on top of trying to travel up regularly (I live 2 hours away so I’m only managing once a week), protect him from greedy family members, trying to make the right decisions and asking the right questions for him.

 

It’s a lot of pressure. And this may sound absolutely terrible, but in the state he’s been in for such a long time, I wonder if he doesn’t get better then what was the point of all this treatment? Would it have been kinder for them to have let him go? And then I feel terribly terribly guilty. Even though I know it would be his worst nightmare. 

 

How did you all cope when your loved one was in hospital and the outcome wasn’t clear? How did you stay strong? What got you through? 
 

If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings

 

have a great day

 

Gem x

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Welcome to the forum. I'm not sure I can give you any advice here but I know others who have been in similar situations will. Just wanted to say 'hi' and thinking of you as you go through this difficult time.

 

A x

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Hello there

 

Warm welcome to the site, glad that you found us.

 

So sorry to hear what your going through it does take time and every day will be different but please don't give up hope...

 

I cant answer your questions on how to cope I'm a survivor but there are carers/family members on here that will be able to help I'm sure.

 

try and have time for 'yourself' know its hard but without the strength of our carers we'd be lost...

 

take care.

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Hello Gem

 

Also a warm welcome to BTG.  So glad you have found the site and you will find support from reading the wealth of information contained within the various forums. Our members will also try and help with any questions you may have.

 

Being faced with your dad having survived the massive trauma of SAH is certainly a daunting prospect.  SAH is not a condition that is widely appreciated until it hits someone near to you. 

 

The medical specialists who have cared for your dad are correct in as far as they have stabilised the initial trauma, but the extent of brain damage only becomes apparent with time as these agonising days weeks and months progress. You are right in saying that it is so, so difficult to be so helpless as you watch for any signs of recovery.

 

Never give up hope. You dad has survived and he will fight to recover. The body can be extremely resilient.  Please be patient.

 

I appreciate that your situation has the added aspect of your relationship with your dad being somewhat `strained`.  Again this is not unique and there are other members of BTG who have been in similar circumstances with either parents or spouses. He does need your support at this time.

He may not respond much but it is likely that he can hear you speak. 

 

It is important that you look after yourself during your dad`s recovery.  The long term nature of SAH recovery requires care by those family members who want to be involved. I hope you can discuss the practcalities with the other family members. As you say, each survivor`s situation is different.

 

I wish you and your family well as you come to terms with dad`s brain trauma.

 

 

Subs

 

 

 

 

 

 

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hi gem 

 

I'm sorry you are going through this nightmare I went through the same nine years ago my lins story is within this carers support under my darling lin never give up after eight years lin got what she needed and things began to work in her favour I spent every day with her because I was lost without her unfortunately things went wrong later but she did make progress and with the right help I think dad will make some form of recovery 

 

I have just come back to btg after suffering some major health problems and I will check in daily to see how things are going you can always send me a message and I will answer if I can 

 

you sound youngish so I hope someone is supporting you chin up and never say no good luck 

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