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Hey there

I did this for ages after mine. It dominated my every waking thought.  It does get easier and you do get to a point where you don't think about it so much and then one day, you'll realise that you've not thought about it that much for weeks.  Don't get me wrong, it's always there in your mind but it doesn't dominate quite so much.

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Its perfectly normal for it to pop into your head.  It'd be the same, I guess, if you had a really good experience about something; the memory would keep popping into your head.  Unfortunately, this is something we'd rather didn't keep doing so.  My therapist told me to let the "video" in my head run a little longer each time it appears - when I can watch the whole thing without trying to distract myself then I'm on the way to recovery mentally.  

 

My hubby had a very serious motorbike accident 4 1/2 years ago and I had to identify him before they could operate - I still have that memory pop into my head now - walking through A&E and seeing him unconscious in a bed (not a mark on his face) and saying "yes, that's him".  Every time that thought popped in there I had a panic attack.  My hubby's brain specialist put my in touch with CBT practitioner and he talked me through everything - it was brilliant, now I can "watch" that memory without the panic attack.

 

Stay positive - it will get better hun x

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I relived the event for ages afterwards but in time the frequency got less.

In fact, just over 16 years later, it still happens but very rarely. Think there must be a trigger but for the life of me can't identify what that trigger is.

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Other side of this I don't remember a thing anything at all no memories what-so-ever, If you feel its getting you down why not try councelling it really can help, help you deal with it...

 

wishing you well..

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Hi Sallios,

 

Yes yes yes...over and over and over...when I was in bed at night I could actually feel like I was back in intensive care....I went for therapy for it...it did help me....just talking about it...I think my family and friends have heard it all so I try to not talk about it...

 

but it is with me all the time like a back pack...I have found meditation (visualizing pleasant things) to be more helpful then I would have ever given it credit for...breathing again, I thought it was daffy, but gave it a try and yes it is helpful...

 

Time...oh yes time has been helpful to me...coming up on 3 years in May...it is not as clear as it was...but my symptoms don't help they keep it present to a large degree...I feel I am ever so slowly embracing my new self and what it changes in my life...

I am better than I was...but still it is with me everyday...would like it to take a vacation haha....

 

My best wishes for peace...

xx Jean

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Hi Salllios

 

I echo what everyone has said. I think sometimes the reliving it is worse than going through it as you can't just leave it in the last. I also had CBT and it did help for a while but once I stopped it soon crept back in.  I am going to return to therapy as I think it really helps. I also find mindfulness and yoga helps too. 

 

Swishy I really can relate to everything you said. I would love to just not think about it. Not quite at 2 years yet but hopeful it will happen.

 

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. 

Charlotte 

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Thanks everyone for your replies. As if we don’t all have enough to deal with with our various deficits our minds play these tricks on us. I hope we all find peace from the memories at some point.

Thanks again 

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  • 1 month later...

I have very limited recall of the whole episode.


My wife talked me through what happened though, witnessed by my teenage kids, it sounded horrific, but it has brought us closer together and made me love them even more!

 

I now get random hugs from my 13 year old son, silver linings and all that.....

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  • 3 months later...

Yes I do this all the time. I was suddenly paralysed from the neck down and was on my own when it happened. I constantly relive it and I get so far then I physically have to stop myself from thinking about it.

I'm hoping over time it bothers me less and less. 

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  • 5 months later...

I do too. I remember exactly how it felt, exactly.   

 

Funny thing, I used to be addicted to smoking (God I hate cigarettes!!!). I tried everything to quit. I was vaping when this happened in my car.

 

I then was in hospital 10 days and quit all smoking in the hospital. Every single time , I walk thru someone's cigarette smoke , or consider smoking, the whole aneurism event comes right back to me .

 

No way will I ever smoke again.It took a brain aneurism to get me to quit smoking. 

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When I had my SAH, I had told my partner I was going to the loo, then jump in the shower, nearly 7 years later and I still can't say that sentence out loud, I even have to stop myself from thinking about those to scenarios together, I get very panicked by it.

When I first came out of hospital, my partner had to stand outside the bathroom door while i used the loo, i was terrified of that bathroom, i used to have a surge of panic everything I needed to go in it, especially if I was alone in the house, i was alone when my SAH happened, my partner was walking our dog at the time.

 

Things had been great until we recently had our bathroom renovated, similar colour scheme to our last house and sadly it triggered my panic again, i have however managed to cope with it better than I did before, it has got better.

As Sami said, it never goes away but I can cope with it a lot easier than before.

It does get better

Love

Michelle xx

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Well done for reaching 7 years. Like you I was alone when it happened: driving home! It took quite some time before I could be driven along that road and then it was a bit of a white knuckle event. I have driven myself along there since although not alone and not in the same car. It seems we all live with the association of what we were doing at the time - brings it all back. Like you said though it does get a bit easier but never goes away. 
Take care x

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's interesting you mention driving. Having done some research on this, it commonly happens in exercise, driving a car, sometimes sex.  The few other people I've met who had it happen were all driving cars, weird. 

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