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New here. Need advice and reassurance


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Hi, my partner has had an Ischemic stroke at 50years affecting the right hand side of his brain.  He was in intensive care for one week and was in hospital roughly two months in total.  He has been home almost two weeks and I am physically and emotionally exhausted.  

 

Carers are organised to give him his medication and help him wash and dress in morning as well as give him his breakfast while I am at work.  He refuses to let the carer help with personal care.  Refuses to use walking aid.  He falls often and says I am being over protective.  

 

Rehab team have spoken to him about the risks and he agrees at the time but then does what he wants.  He resents me for leaving him in hospital until physio said it was okay to discharge and carer in place.  He has left hand side neglect, spatial awareness issues, behaviour change, attention issues etc..  Please, can anyone advise if it gets better?

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Hello Karen ... and a very warm welcome to BTG.

 

So sorry to learn that your husband suffered from an Ischemic Stroke. 

 

While we do not give any medical advice, you will receive support from our members, as you learn how as survivors or carers they have coped with brain trauma.

 

Your husband`s Ischemic Stroke is termed as common in as far as people being affected are concerned. The majority of our members have survived a Haemorrhagic Stroke which while being less common, the survival rate is extremely low. 

However,  to a degree the roads of recovery will have similar issues for both your husband and yourself as his carer. 

 

No doubt your husband`s medics will have given you some advice on his discharge, however they cannot give any real accurate advice on how his recovery will progress. All trauma is unique and only during the days, weeks and months following the event will the nature of the challenges become clear. 

 

You mention some of the difficulties he is already facing. These are often difficult for you to accept as the husband you have known all these years is now behaving physically and emotionally so different. Dealing with these issues day in day out will sap your energy and drain you emotionally, and it is important that you do get support too. In these early days you are willing him to improve and see positive signs that he is recovering.  With brain trauma it is important that you accept that time and patience over a long period may well be the road ahead. 

 

Time often brings recovery in some measure. 

His attitude towards you at the moment is something that is so difficult to acknowledge. You are trying your best and he is showing so much frustration at not being able to do what came naturally before the stroke. Again time and patience may well see signs of recovery. 

 

Your decision to continue to work is important. Your time at work will help you have another focus. No doubt you will review this over time as it becomes clearer what the lasting effects of the stroke are. 

 

Please take time to read the various forums in the site and in particular the Carers` section.  There are many helpful comments which will encourage you and inform you about life after brain trauma.

 

Please take care and I wish you good strength as you face these challenges with your husband.

 

 

Subs

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Hi Karen a very warm welcome to BTG

 

So sorry to hear about your husband. Very difficult frustrating and emotional times for you both.

It is so very early in recovery for your Husband. Time and patience will see recovery as Subs has said above. 

 

Both your worlds as you knew it have been turned upside down, it takes time to adjust and sometimes it will be one step forward and two steps back. But it will get better, just takes time and we all recover differently.

 

So glad you found us. As Subs  has already said, there is a wealth of helpful information here.

We look forward to hearing more from you and how you are both doing.

 

Take care and wishing you both well 

Tina xx

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