My Mind Changed by JacknMegan Miller Jr.

I am a 28 year old stay at home mom who had a SAH on October 10, 2013.

I don't think that my long term boyfriend of 10 years or other people in my family get what I am going through. Yes, okay I don't have any visible disabilities, but I definitely have physical boundaries that I didn't before, and depression.

I get really upset and jump to conclusions way more than I used to and I cry a lot for no reason. I've been on antidepressants and anti anxiety medicine for about 5 months now and it helps but I think it needs adjusted.

I don't need sympathy just understanding that I am slightly different now. My brain and body are adjusting. And from being in a bed for a week and not being aloud to move much my tail bone and hips (which were not very good to begin with) are now in much worse shape.

I'm am trying to get into shape and not be in pain but it is very slow. If my blood pressure raises too much I get a pounding in the back of my head where the SAH was, and it scares me. My children don't understand they are 3,5, and almost 9 years old.

Their Dad just does not get that I have good days and bad days when it comes to migraines and feelings and what not, and its like he expects me to be over it by now...... and that's just not how it works.

I was a active person, a little over weight, but active. My best friend always told me she didn't know how I wasn't stick thin because of all the things I did during the day. I always said I know! it's not fair!! But I feel like I'm nothing anymore.

I'm this mom, who wears crappy clothes, and has no other identity of her own. This never bothered me before, I was happy with my life. Now its like when the thing in my head exploded it messed up a lot of things in my "mind" not just my brain. I wish I could turn it off.