good one!!! 

Hi,   I will give you a slightly different look from the outside at what you have written, laced with a little irreverence, humour and a lot of love! Your credits, not your deficits, your positive changes and increased sense of who you now are, thanks to your nurses and your reflection! I take your points one at a time in the order you made them!   1) Your perception has changed and made you reflect on what is important in life - well done, you made the right choices with regards to work life balance,   2) Keep trying the salsa steps, it will sink in when you are in the right mood and frame of mind - get to work in parrallel with someone who knows the steps and do them at a slower pace until it sticks. Instead of Salsa steps call them Spanish steps - if Spanish is going in call them Spanish!  Worth a try!   3) This is part of your brain telling you it recognises things in their familiar place. If it works for you then keep doing it! Your parking space can be called the Spanish spot!   4) This is good - you have their attention!   5) These emotions display a level of honesty, just be mindful that perhaps a little more tact is called for, not a change of opinion. People often blame others when they want to deflect fault from their own actions to yours. They know your weak spot - do you know theirs?   6) We all do that, it's just you are more aware of it now.  You remember the important ones but not the ones that are less significant to you.  You can't remember everyone, don't beat yourself up about it. If needs be, write their names down and why you need to remember them. If there's no reason, then there's no point to remembering them - therefore no worries so go back to point 1 - laidback!   7)Nothing wrong with that - repetition transfers short term to long term memory thus eradicating the problem at issue!  Great!    Laugh - because it's a comedy - it's good to laugh!   9) Another good point - why keep up with toxics - getting rid was a good decision - well done!   10) With regards to your Spanish again - buy a Spanish car and then maybe you'll remember where you left it - (in Spanish of course!) Lateral thinking!   What's Spanish for "Credits not Deficits?"   It's just a different way - and hopefully more positive way of looking at things!    Good luck   Macca      

Swishy alias Jean & FRM ,   I think you are doing great from when you first came on here so well done to you Jean xx.   Can you imagine all of us going to see FRM to tell him our complaints,  we would be his only patients,  as others would walk out fed up with waiting.   Also FRM you would get a bad head.  From us all remembering what we was going to say at the same time.   Got to smile as we must have said some funny things when in Cuckoo land xxxx    Love to you all  Salsa classes start at 12. FRM    Win xxxx   

Frmertd, Glad you are better. You are a physician also and sometimes it makes me think back and remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t have to address many things when a patient comes in. I can just do the most critical things and have them come back always. My good friend from school also had stage 4 colon cancer. He is 48 so he doesn’t go for colonoscopy yet till age 50. He is slowly getting better and now back to work. Going thru 2 more chemos. I hope to visit him in Louisiana next year.   We all have to work so the helpful thing is to do no harm or be safe. As you already know we have to practice defensive medicine. I don’t argue with people much these days and I document everything esp if they were non compliant. The good thing about my job is I know many patients very well and vice versa since this is the only job I had after 2 months of locum. So since they know me well, there is trust and they are very less likely to sue and I can sometimes yell at them for noncompliance issues.   You are very lucky to be alive so cherish each day. You can pray also but might I suggest meditation for I believe I have changed my karma many times over. It will be very good for your mind and memory. No one has harmful side effects from it. I did a nine day retreat in Oct.  I told my boss I will go work with my meditation on the case. We are being sued. Pt did not go for ultrasound when the PA asked him to one year ago. To make long story short, he had cirrhosis of the liver and sued us. Of course did not sue pain mgt but sued everyone else. We were about to go for practicing with deposition etc.  It is not even my pt but I m sued because I m the owner.    I had no phone or outside contact. When I came out of the IMC Usa after nine days, I see a text saying the pt dropped all the charges. My boss and other people were very surprised. I do believe in the power of meditation and the good karma it creates for us. Good to learn Spanish. I m learning it from an app to but hasn’t recently since it s not been used much in daily life. Not sure what you mean by toxic people. Sometimes they might have good intentions just don’t see them with green glasses. Give people a chance. Life is too short. It s better to forgive than to have a grudge.   I can promise you-meditation will help with adhd and short term memory and controlling the emotions and it will be very beneficial in daily life. It is not easy but you keep on working at it. I plan to work this crazy job for ten more years and may be just work part time or locum for 3-4 months per year. You see hubby has state pension and he s a little older than me so he can get social security sooner.   If you ever are looking for a primary care job. We need someone next Jan. You ll be at a different location than me . One doctor is retiring and I m sure we can even arrange 3 days of 12 hr shifts or reduced schedule such as 36 hrs week.  We do lots of paperwork but I m sure it s not as crazy as the ER. Just think about it. We can’t find many people who wants to work private and be a partner. You might not make much money first but partner money can be very nice.  Take care and do not drink alcohol for it can cloud the mind. I m glad you are doing well. Take one day at a time, one breath at a time. I will be again doing a nine day retreat with no phone/ no contact in May of this year 10th thru 19th I believe. The mind needs at least 3-4 days to calm. 

Wonderful posts Frmertd and Win you inspire me so...thank you, thank you all...   Subzero love the God grant me the serenity prayer also, I say I say it often..    We are survivors and it took me a while to stop feeling like a victim....Can't say I am 100% there, some days closer than others, all your words help so much with that..   xx Jean