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Suziewong

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Posts posted by Suziewong

  1. 18 hours ago, Swishy said:

    Hi Suzie

    Oh my goodness you have been through a lot and so has your husband.  I also had to have my mom go to a nursing home for complex medical issues but also for her becoming very argumentative and too much for me to make things the way I would have liked.  I know it is so hard but you are doing the best for him and you.  Please take care of yourself and try not to feel badly if you can't see him as often as your heart would like.  You are doing  the best for him.

    Sending you a big hug, please come here as often as you like, this site has helped us all in one way or another.

    xx

    Jean

    Hi Jean, thank you I so appreciate your wise words and I’ll definitely visit this site often x

    • Like 1
  2. On 27/02/2023 at 09:44, Tina said:

    Hi Suzie a very warm welcome to BTG :) 

     

    So very sorry to hear about your husband, so very hard for you too, hugs xx

    As Jess has said, your husband is in the right place. My God Mother had a similar situation with her husband. She like you had health problems and needed help and searched high and low for the best home.

     

    Everytime she visited he got very agitated and wanted to come home. It was so distressing she changed to visiting only once a week but phoned everyday for updates. The home were lovely and he was very happy and settled other than when she visited.

     

    Overtime things did improve. It took over a year as a lot to adjust to. His distress reduced but he still always asked to go home which was really upsetting. The carers were very good and asked her to leave as they needed to check this or that to distract him away from her leaving. She arranged a time beforehand. It worked very well.

     

    I really hope things improve for you and your husband very soon. Its just heartbreaking for all involved.

    We look forward to hearing more from you and always here if you need support or just to off load.

    We are a friendly caring bunch.

     

    Take care

    Tina xx

     

     

     

     

     

    Hi Tina, thank you so much for your warm reply. I take note of all your suggestions and will try and hope in time my husband will settle and not have everything packed. Doubled edged sword I know. I wish I’d found this site last year when everything was so very much in the air x

    • Like 1
  3. I’m new here, just discovered your site and wished I’d known of it last April!

    I’ve been a carer for my husband the last 15 years after he suffered from hydrocephalus due to a colloid cyst of the third ventricle. After emergency brain surgery he was home in three days with no back up or info from hospital.

     

    His health has been downhill ever since, Chronic ME and Fibromyalgia then in April last year as a result of his bleed on the brain he fell down the stairs resulting in multiple fractures. He was in hospital 7 weeks which resulted in him losing his mental capacity. Four weeks in rehab but they wouldn’t keep him as his behaviour had become so challenging. So back to another hospital for 8 weeks.

     

    The doctors and Consultants have said that because of the first brain injury and now this severe brain bleed has resulted in him having Acquired Brain injury dementia and it will only get worse.  It has affected his short term memory, retention of information, thought processing etc. after travelling the width and breadth of our county I found a lovely nursing home for him.

     

    I’m 70 now and not in good health myself so couldn’t care for him at home any longer.  He’s perfectly able in himself. He still thinks he can drive, his age changes all the time, he says there’s nothing wrong with him and demands I take him home when I visit.

     

    He has a DOLS against him. He’s offensive sometimes aggressive. His bags are always packed. I have to sneak out with help of carers. My heart aches for not being able to see him every day as it agitates him so much so I’ve tried staying away in the hope he will settle. The home tells me he’s doing fine but when he sees me it just triggers his agitation more. Help, has anyone else experienced similar, any advice would be welcome, thank you 

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