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Hello Jenny!!


AndyH
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Hi Jenny,

I am on here sporadically at the moment but I will offer any support that I can as a fellow carer.

We have just had another 'little' set back (see Coping with Hypersexuality in the relationships part of the forum) and I am coming to terms with it at the moment.

Our social worker has just set up a support group for carers of those with brain injury. No matter how the injury occurs a lot of the symptons are the same. We meet once a month in the centre of Leeds and its good for me as I meet carers with 20+ years experience.

Anyway feel free to blether on to me whenever you choose. I do check back although at the moment not very often.

Take care lass.

Andy

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Guest jennybee

Hi Andy,

Thanks for the hello - and good to hear from you. It does sound like you and your wife have had a really challenging time. Dear Goodness, the things they don't prepare you for! But I think it is excellent you posted your story and that others can get reassurance and information from your experiences. Fascinating too. I was interested as well that Dianette was prescribed - I wonder if it has a libido reducing affect on 'ordinary' people. Might explain why I did well at university but not with men!

It is really interesting thinking back over the years to look at how my mum's been affected by her SAH's. Her first was when she was 21 - they clipped the whole artery in those days - and then again when she was 50ish. And it never occurred to me that her personality might have been altered by this or that her behaviour was anything other than her being, well, mum. It would have been so good to be able to see her anger, moods, irrationality, manipulativeness in terms of her anneurysm, rather than just getting resentful because she wasn't a 'proper' mum. I think it is just coming home to me what an impact this all had on her - I love her dearly, but she's a very difficult person to deal with sometimes, and the 'switch' that happens can be over something tiny. Good to know these quirks are all part of the package.

Anyway, thanks for the words and I hope you do keep on keepin' on.

Best wishes, Jenny

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Hi there Jenny.

Believe me it is sometimes difficult to place all Heathers new traits in the context of her aneurysm/sah. I wish I could, it would make caring for her so much easier. I have to deal with the issues as a father, husband and carer. Its so frustrating at times. I am finally climbing out of the hole that the last incident of sexual disinhibition. It would be lovely to be able to say 'Oh thats just her injury that makes her do that!'. At the moment though I am working on it!

I hope its another 6 months before the next one, couldnt face another one so soon.

Anyway gotta go as I took Heather to the gym today and I am tuckered!

I Will keep keepin on because I want to!

Take care.

Andy

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Guest jennybee

I know - if only it was so easy to disintangle the behaviour, the consequences, the feelings. I'm in a much easier position than you though - I have a separate life I can run away to and I don't have a family to be thinking of either. I think you're doing amazingly. Part of wishing I'd understood more about the SAHs for me is recognising that my behaviour and attitudes have been affected so greatly - it was really just me and my mum when I was growing up - so now I have to unlearn so much of what I understand about relationships. But I guess that is the case for people in lots of situations. Anyway, better go, but thanks for the words. Best wishes, Jenny

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