Sasbo

Hello Ladies

Sorry to hear about the dizziness. I have right eye 'foibles'. When I'm tired it closes and also feels like it doesn't fit properly. Do occasionally have dizzy spells but think it's more tiredness/feeling unwell than related to the eye.

Also, the muscle that's just below my eyebrow/above my eyelid is numb and paralysed which feels strange but not really a problem other than getting mascara blobs on it when I put mascara on, which isn't often now.

What I do find, and would love to hear your thoughts on this, is that this is a voyage of discovery. As I become more compus mentus more differences post SAH to pre SAH are becoming apparent almost on a daily basis.

Not knowing if these will be permanent is a bit of a downer as this doesn't help with making long term decisions, not that I'm capable of doing that at the moment!

Anyway, enough already......

Sarah

Hi Marian

Welcome! My daughter's called Hannah too - good choice of name!! Your Hannah sounds a great girl just like mine is.

Look forward to seeing you here lots.

Sarah x

Hi Aine and all

We're at about the same stage (1st bleed 21/9/06, second bleed and hospitalisation 25/9/06) and I have, and continue to have, the same questions as you. Rather than post a reply at each topic I thought I'd answer, from my experience, what I can in this post (and hope I can remember them all as my memory is virtually non-existent post-SAH)

1. Sleeping - not good at all so went to my very understanding GP and explained that my brain was bouncing about all over the place, couldn't think 'happy thoughts' or count sheep or blank my mind. He has prescribed non-addictive, non-hangover inducing anti-depressants (which also helps with the general worrying aspects that I was experiencing throughout the day). These really help and because of his genuine reassurances I'm not overly worried (see, they work!) about being too dependent on them.

2. Going back to work - this is a constant on my mind. I too was told 3 months minimum, although a nurse at the hospital gave me some excellent advice - even if you look cured on the outside (scar etc.) it will take much longer on the inside so DO NOT let people rush you, you will know when you are fit and able - My employers are being really, really good too and I know in my heart of hearts that I am not ready to go back yet. I do still get extremely tired and have a power nap nearly every day and when I don't it catches up with me. I also can't make decisions to save my life and, as I mentioned earlier, my memory is worse than U/S. Still undecided about what to do about work but may be in a better position to make a decision after my first neuro appointment next week.

3. Sami - ref the weird head when bending down etc. - my right eye seems to have been affected slightly so that when I'm tired it doesn't seem to fit, if you know what I mean, and feels very dry in its socket. Also get aches and pains behind it and above it. Head gets very lumpy too above and around the scar. Weird and wonderful body!!

4. Singing - strange as it may seem and not wishing to warble about it but my singing voice is much improved since SAH. It wasn't too bad before, I could hold a tune, but now it's (although I say it myself) pretty good. No single deal on the table yet.......

Hope this helps.

Have a good day all, from a very very windy Cheshire

Love Sarah x

Hi Jess

Welcome - Sami's right, we're all raving mad. Don't think it's anything to do with our SAHs, I'm willing to bet we were all bonkers beforehand. I know I was!

If you feel stressed and panicky just post on here, it really helps to know that there's always someone around who understands.

Sarah x

Thanks guys

Will let you know how it goes and what's what. Only a week to go............

Sarah x

Hello all

Can anyone help? I have my first post-op neuro-appointment on 23rd January and really don't know what to expect.

I had a burst aneurysm and was clipped (craniotomy via SOMIC procedure, ie keyhole), not coiled, on 28th September '06 at the North Staffs Neuro Hospital. I have a second aneurysm that's had nothing done to it yet. I don't know the size of number 2 so, of course, may not need to have anything done to it. Is it standard procedure at the first appointment to have MRI or any other type of scan regardless of whether clipped or coiled? Or what other joys could I expect?

I think I'd prefer to know what to look forward to next week rather than not, but then again.......

Hoping someone can help

Sarah x

Okey Dokey - my brother lives in Arkansas, a town called Louann. Not sure how many thousands of miles from you that is?

Sarah x

Hi Aine

Congrats with first visit over and with spuds! Got my first visit in a couple of weeks, will let you know if I do the leaky-eyed thing. Guess it's a strain; I know it's already playing on my mind.

Annie - whereabouts in the US are you?

Sarah x

It's the word association thing. My memory used to be pretty good really, but now it's completely shot at. People swear blind they've told me things and I have absolutely no recollection of it. I think they're just trying it on!!

Sarah x

Hi Tracey

Welcome. Although I had my SAH in September I've only just this week started posting. Everyone's great, really friendly and welcoming.

I had one ruptured and have another unruptured aneurysm. The ruptured one has been clipped via a new procedure (only been used for the last year or so and only 2 hospitals/surgeons in the UK do it so got lucky with timing and location!). This procedure is called SOMIC - it's like a craniotomy except there's a much smaller scar - about 3 inches on my forehead, above right eyebrow. I did comment to the surgeon (known in our house as Dr Embryo - real name Mr Brydon but could never remember it!) that if I have the other aneurysm done on the other side I could stand in for Sooty......I found it funny but he didn't!!!!

Got my first post-op appointment in a couple of weeks so will know more then but I also have the same feelings as you.

Sarah xx

Hi Lou

Yes, job's very interesting and a great company to work for - really, really lovely people and it's good fun meeting up with the audience too. Germany is really clean and sooo efficient - they've got recycling down to a fine art. What got me is how vast it is - much bigger than I imagined.

I have a lot of decisions to make though as I really don't feel ready for work yet and I've got aneurysm number 2 to sort out with Dr Embryo the neurosurgeon. However, once I've been to see him in a couple of weeks I'm hoping things will seem clearer. Decisions aren't my thing at the moment - they freak me out which is a pain as I never used to have any problems with making them. Pooh-bah!

Sarah x

Yo Sami

Fiona works for a food supplier - she does retail solutions for caterers. It all gets very technical and another world.....it's marketing-led but her main experience is in retailing so her company is using her as a consultant on various projects and tying in the two disciplines.

I do PR & Marketing for a company (charity) that provides TV, Radio, live entertainment, Cinema and Retail for the British Army overseas, hence the lots of travel as we have radio stations in Germany, Cyprus, Falklands, Iraq, Balkans etc. etc. wherever there's army, navy, air force of the British variety. We occasionally put live entertainment shows on in Norway when the Marines are out there on exercise.

What do you do? I know you have your own company.....

My dad says we should come over to Nottingham via the Cat & Fiddle way as it's such a lovely route but AA says via Stoke so we'll see which way Tom Tom takes us when we get in the car!

Macclesfield is in Cheshire, about 15 miles from us. We live between Northwich and Winsford, virtually dead centre of Cheshire, about 17 miles from Chester, 20 miles from Manchester.

Sarah xx

No trip to Nottingham today - change of plan to tomorrow. The guy that Fiona was due to have a meeting with has postponed. Can't say I'm sorry with the weather being as it is, ie foul!!

She has a meeting about their coffee operation.........caffeine free of course

Sarah xx

Hi Sami

Hope you've had a good day today - I'm in Nottingham tomorrow for a day trip.

I was told by my Neurosurgeon not to fly until I'd seen him for first post-op consultation which is 23rd Jan. He also said that when I did fly I'd probably get headaches for a time, although he didn't really elaborate so don't know if it will be forever but I will ask him 23.1.

Oddly enough I began to get severe head/earaches when flying earlier on last year but it only seemed to happen short haul - Germany, Ireland etc. I flew a lot last year so it got rather painful. I did wonder why it was happening but didn't take it any further. Guess I know now!

Sarah x

Hi Guys

Thanks for reading and responding. You're right, I really should stop worrying about the work issue as there's not really any need to be worried. My boss (who's also the MD), personnel and all my colleagues have been, and continue to be, so on-side and supportive and don't want me back until I feel ready, my family don't want me to go back until I feel 100% ready and in some ways don't want me to go back at all, so there's only me doing the worrying and it is stubborn-ness that's causing it. My main worry is that it's psychological and that really I'm better and able to do things but am being either lazy or pathetic. Deep down I know it's not as when I do try to move forward something brings me up with a bump and i know that I'm not ready for whatever it might have been yet, or physically there're drawbacks. Just got to accept it.

I need to re-evaluate the work/life balance; we have discussed starting our own business and are fortunately in a position to do just that, but it's a big step. I also believe I'm worrying much more at the moment as my first neuro appointment is coming up soon and, having been left to my own devices since discharge (from a professional medical point that is) I really don't know what to expect or, indeed, what he will expect from me.

Ref mascara - I very rarely wear it too post-op, just on some occasions and the mascara on the cheek has become somewhat of a standing joke now! It's a challenge to avoid it and boy do I feel good when I can!

Thanks again everyone, it's such a relief to open up now.

Sarah xxx

ps - seem to have used the worry word a lot. I shall banish that emotion immediately as life is too short to worry. Silly thing is, that's what I'm always telling my kids so I should practice what I preach.........

Hi Scott

Please don't reply any more tonight as I know you're tired, but if I don't respond now then I'll forget what I wanted to say by tomorrow (and I know you'll understand that!).

My family have been, and continue to be, absolutely great but, you're right, no-one can possibly understand unless they've lived through it either as the patient or the immediate carer(s). My partner and my kids (23 and 21) are, I believe, hugely irreverent to one who has come out the other side and I'm still not sure if I really do owe my daughter £20,000!! As you say, you do have to laugh or else what's it all been about.

I'm really not sure yet what to do about work. I have a great job and work with lovely people who have been very understanding, particularly as, just before SAH, I took several weeks compassionate leave due to the sudden death of my Mum. But I've had a severe warning and I have a second aneurysm that I need to find out more about. The surgeon did mention it pre- and post- surgery but said we wouldn't discuss it until my forthcoming appointment.

Anyway, I too am calling it a night now. Thanks for your company and wisdom and hope to speak soon.

Sarah

Hello again

Methinks you're another night owl!

That was my worry. I now look ok, not facially swollen or grey anything like as often as I was (constantly until recently!) and can hold a decent conversation. However, it takes supreme effort to hold that conversation so I try to avoid those situations. Also I can't write. I'm left handed and, whilst everything feels ok, once I try and use my left hand to write, put on mascara (guess you don't have that problem - or maybe you do and, hey, each to his own!!) etc. then I hit the deck. Even Kate Moss wouldn't look good with Revlon slashed across her cheek......

It just seems like everything I was good and confident at was taken away/damaged/covered up at the point of the SAH. Used to be able to multi-task (it's a woman thing....), be on top of my job, deal with all sorts of situations but not now. Hopefully it will come back but my big worry is that it won't come back as satisfactorily as I would like it. But then I think that I shouldn't be so ungrateful. I'm alive and you really can't get better than that. That work thing gets in the way of life anyway, and if it weren't for needing some money to live on there wouldn't be any decisions to make!

My work is based not too far from you, near Gerrards Cross, and our archivist lives in Fleet so I travel(led) over that way fairly frequently.

Sarah

Hi Scott

Thanks for responding to my post.

This site really is a Godsend. There's nothing like listening to/reading real accounts as opposed to clinical data. And whilst no 2 of us are the same we will, no doubt, have undergone similar scenarios and symptoms.

It's amazing what other worlds open up and what people you meet when you least expect it!

How long was it before you returned to work? I'm currently at the 3 month stage and am thinking about it - reluctantly - as I don't feel mentally ready yet and still tire very easily. Multi-tasking hasn't figured very large in the past few months!

Sarah

I think there is a definite subliminal significance. The comfort factor is soooo important and I definitely perked up when mine found its way to my hospital bed.

I love my v-shaped pillow! Learnt about them from my Mum - never looked back particularly after SAH.

Hi Karen

Have e-mailed you my story as uploading doesn't seem to want to!

Sarah x

Hi Karen

Trying to post again now but the petals are still whirling round! How long should it take to upload normally?

Sarah

Hi Karen

Thanks for getting back to me. Yes, I am now beginning to need to talk (although I think at home I talk a little too much about it! Verbal diarrhoea has been mentioned...... no, seriously, they've all been absolutely amazing). It's now a need to talk to others in the same boat. I've healed remarkably well to date but now it's that weird stage where people expect you, as you have apparently recovered so well, to be cured and it's "not so", you want to shout. I had a really up Christmas and New Year (which was jolly hard to maintain but somehow managed it) but am now feeling the pinch with tiredness setting in big-style mid-week and not letting up yet.

Anyway, enough waffle for now, although it really is good to be able to let it all out to like-minded survivors - thank you!

Sarah x

Dur - have just posted for the first time ever on the SAH Discussion bit but realise now that was the wrong place - didn't see the introduce yourself postbox. Herewith what I wrote in SAH......

"Hello

I joined as a member a while ago, but haven't posted, and keep dipping in to have a browse around the site which has been really useful. It's only now (3 months + post SAH) that I feel I can, indeed want, to talk about it. Tried to post my story last night but not sure if it went through ok? There was a whizzing-around thing on the page that said 'thanks for the article' but story hasn't posted yet.....

Anyway, in a nutshell, it turns out I had my first bleed (although thought I'd trapped a nerve in my neck!) on Sept 21st, second bleed and hospitalised on Sept 25th. Taken first to Leighton Hospital in Crewe then transferred to N Staffs and operated on on Sept 28th but don't have much memory of that time as drifting in and out of sanity. Had SOMIC (keyhole) for burst aneurysm, with second aneurysm as yet untreated. I have my first post-op appointment back at N Staffs on Jan 23rd which seems to be much later than other people, from what I've read - is this usual? I did ring the hospital who said they had a note to call me back pre- Jan 30th. Anyway, still not back at work and am not planning to go back until at least after said appointment.

Really good to meet you all across the ether - listening in has been a great help over the last few months so thanks all."

Apologies for repetition and promise to try and get it together in future!

Sarah x