Julie

Hello Tim, Welcome to the site!! I had my SAH 11 years ago and was very isolated and confused for sometime, I was told I'd had a stroke and joined a stroke community, but never met anyone else who'd survived an SAH so BTG was light at the end of a dark tunnel when Karen contacted me when she'd seen an article in a magazine about me..... We're all here for a reason and it wasn't your "time"... the day of my SAH my husband was home from work almost two hours earlier than he usually was on a Saturday ..... Its very early days for you and I would like to say that we continue to improve ...(for ever) I hope!!!! All The Best Julie x x

Hello Debbie, Welcome to this wonderful site I was lurking for about two years before I finally joined... I've never looked back! We're such a friendly bunch and if anyone has a problem we'll tr to help and if we can't ... we'll usually find a man or woman who can Look forward to learning more about you.

Hello Tammy & Neil Welcome to BTG!!! I'm the survivor in my marriage and I was more accepting (maybe because I did'nt fully understand for a good while) of what had happened to me, I've never done "why me". Also, I was in some sort of coma for a several weeks so I missed out on how poorly I really was, my main concern when I woke up was "where's my long fingernails?" You have no reason to blame yourself for anything, SAH can happen at any time as we're going about our daily lives. I've read some of Neil's postings and it seems he is making a good recovery!!! Just take each day as it comes and try not to be too hard on yourselves and each other Time is a great healer. I can only echo what the others have said and you will get wonderful, unconditional support on this site. I look forward to reading more about you both. Julie C

Hi Karen I'm 9 years post SAH (in December) and I still suffer with fatigue, not as badly as in the early days when I needed to sleep most afternoons, but if I get an energy burst I'm sure to suffer for a few days after. AND.... we've been home from our holiday 9 days and I'm still struggling with "jet lag".... Mark was back at work the next day, I took an extra few days off.... but hey ho....

Hi Kim Like your Mum I was very poorly for about two months, I don't have any memory of the first two months post SAH at all. Anything I tell people is "parrot fashioned", because my husband has told me the "story" so many times. Initially I just could'nt store anything. I can only echo what the others have said with regard to the "six month rule". I'm almost 8 years post SAH (so happy to be here!!) and I'm still making improvements. Some days I even know what day it is all day long Karen's suggestions of music and photos is really good!! My husband used to put ear phones on me (playing some of our "special" tunes) even when I was'nt fully conscious (he said I used to smile at them). And, its nice to wake up to a friendly face (put a couple of her favourite photos on her bedside locker?) Oh, don't forget to not be so hard on yourself!!! Best Wishes!!

Hello Sharon, WOW Lovely to see you posting here. I hope you don't mind but I'd already told Behind The Gray about you, after you sent me a copy of your book, which I read and re-read and found very useful. Thank You!!! I'd been watching Behind The Gray since its birth and had joined a while ago (several times) but I kept forgetting my password. I really wish I had'nt left it so long, they've been lovely to me and Mark (my husband) and I are going to meet some of them at a meal in December, I can't wait. My stroke isolated my from my friends then I made new friends who'd had strokes, but I always felt different, because I had a bleed, I feel like "I've come home" here. I hope you are well and happy. Julie x x x

Hello Linzi Welcome to BTG, feel a bit of a fraud, coz I've not been a member that long myself, but I've been watching since its birth. I've been made to feel really welcome, almost like I've "come home". I've been very involved in a stroke support group, so its been really nice for me to communicate with other SAH survivors, they'res not many of us around. I had a grade 4 SAH in December of 1999 (no millenium celebrations for me), but I'm still making improvements. Not huge ones, just every now and again I'll notice I'm doing something I could'nt do a few months before I look forward to reading more about you. All The Best Julie C

Hi Harvey, I'm fairly new to this site (as a member) myself, though I had been watching from its birth. Welcome ... Its really friendly here, I feel like "I've come home" and regret not joining sooner. I do belong to a stroke support group, but most of the members have had a stroke caused by a clot so I've always felt a little left out. You don't have to put up with pain, can your GP or specialist refer you to a Pain Clinic?? You got lucky (I usually drone and drone), I'm just on my way out to my stroke group (Different Strokes) for our weekly exercise session, in my new keep (get) fit outfit Have A Lovely Weekend

Hi Karen, Where is your story??? Julie x x x

Hello I flew for the first time 10 days after I left Rehab (six months in hospital in total). I'd missed my wedding anniversary while I was in hospital and my lovely husband always takes me away for our wedding anniversary... So, as soon as I had a discharge date he'd booked a mini holiday in the Highlands. My physiotherapist had suggest we go nearer to home (Bournemouth). I'd spent part of my time in hospital in a general ward (basically god's waiting room)... I wanted to get back in the land of the living. I was terrified but I'd been to see my Brain Surgeon a few days after I'd been discharged from Rehab and he said I could drink red wine (in moderation) have sex (as often as I liked) and fly We hired a wheelchair from the Red Cross I was still very wobbly at that time and as I'd never been to Scotland before I did'nt know what to expect. As it happens we only used the wheelchair at Luton airport I used the walking stick for everything else. Unfortunately I could'nt wear shoes at that time so even though I'd made an effort with hair, make up and clothes I wore slippers when we went out in the evenings (trainers during the day). Since then, I've been to Cyprus (the following October to stay with friends), Mexico (three times), Florida Keys, France, Italy and Canada oh and Glasgow and Newcastle. I still get really scared flying and the fear wears me out. The first day of any holiday is mostly spent recovering But I was scared of flying pre-SAH and I'm not going to let that stop me seeing the world. We're all entitled to holidays!!! I'm getting a mini-holiday to my lovely castle in France soon Take Care All Julie C x x x

Hi (sorry this is how bad my memory is, I can't remember who I'm replying to). When I first came home from hospital I could'nt get up the stairs so my husband and brother in law brought a single bed downstairs ...it'd been alot of years since My husband and I had slept in a single bed I was cooking a chicken casserole when I had my SAH, I've never cooked once since, nor do I think I'd be able to eat one if I was offered. My husband feels the same...he was unable to throw the dreaded thing away for a while (I'm mega hygienic and am glad I missed this), he left it on the worktop where I'd left it for about four days and took the children out to eat until he could face going in the kitchen. I think Karen's suggestions are good (as always), move the bed and maybe buy some new bits and bobs?? I hope you sleep easy soon !!! All The Best Julie C

Helen I also had a slice (as you call it) of skull removed when I had my anuersym clipped, I got an infection. The bone flap was removed on Boxing Day of 1999 three weeks after my anuersym ruptured. On 11th February 2001 I had cranioplasty (a titanium plate) fitted, its the only cosmetic surgery I'm ever likely to have and fortunately they've done a great job (it was kind of scarey seeing my brain bulging through my skin for a year), the scar is behind my hairline so you'd never know unless you had a feel. Fortunately for me, my husband was'nt put off sex by the bulging brain, which is just as well since I got the sex-mania post SAH. Oh by the way, if you fall and bash the new forehead you don't feel a thing, I fell getting out of the jacuzzi in Mexico and had to laugh (although my poor husband heard this big bang and was really worried). All The Best Julie C

Hello Again When I was sort of coming round I'd been moved to back to my local hospital (which fortunately for my family houses the Regional Rehab Unit). I was'nt feeling too great and Mark was trying to explain what had happened to me, my legs did'nt feel right and I could vaguely remember being in the middle of checking a chicken casserole. Mark told me I'd had a sub-arachnoid haemorrhage and in my confusion I thought he meant I had spiders running around my brain :? Nobody had told him I'd had a stroke, although he'd been told in the first 48 hours that "if" I survived I'd need round the clock care I'd probably never walk again and would'nt be able to care for myself. Wow!!! I did good. Anyway, I was taken to have physiotherapy one morning and I was watching someone else, his leg was floppy and it seemed such an effort for him to walk. I asked my Physio if I'd walk like that (If I ever did walk) and she said "oh Julie most people who've had a stroke walk like that". Her comment left me very confused, I was 37 why would stroke apply to me??? When Mark visited me later that day (he came to the hospital every day, except one when Chelsea had an important match) I asked him if I'd had a stroke and he did'nt know. This left us both feeling very vulnerable, me because I'd suddenly gone from 37 to 67 overnight and him because he had been told I'd had a subarachnoid haemorrhage. Mark managed to see the consultant of the ward I was on at the time (God's waiting room, so depressing) and it was explained to him that I had indeed had a stroke caused by bleeding in my brain rather than a clot. I think I realised pretty soon life would never be the same and that has probably been my lowest point (although I've still managed to keep a brave face to all my friends). This happened about 8-10 post SAH and I was only getting about two half hours of physio per week and much less OT, but what I did get I made the most of and an OT also visited me in my room (I'd been transferred from another hospital so had a room on my own) and played some card games and showed me how to get dressed and wash (propping myself up on the wall). At that time I was hoisted in and out of the bath (oh how degrading, I hated that so much). In time I was allowed to use the shower on a prop (might have been a perching stool or a commode, I can't remember). I cried the first time I washed my hair myself and managed to do a bit of de-fuzzing. This sounds miserable, sorry, I'm not a miserable person and I can do the bath now and blow dry (standing up), though it does take me at least twice as long as it did, the satisfaction I get is worth it and Mark always appreciates it when I've blow dried. Oh dear, I've done it again, I really did'nt mean to go off topic. Sorry Julie C

Hi Scott I've also had the metal plate to cover the dent in my head, I got an infection after my aneurysm was clipped, 7th December 1999, bone flap removed boxing day 1999, titanium plate fitted in February of 2001. They've done a great job and fortunately (cos I'm a girl) each time they've operated they've gone in just behind my hairline so there's no visible markings. I can even feel the groove in that side of my temple like on the opposite side. The worse thing for me was signing the consent form for the plastic surgery, when I had the life saving stuff I was so poorly, my husband had to do all the signing. My Brain Surgeon does'nt want to see me any more, I was discharged in July of 2004. All The Best Julie C

Hi Wendy Welcome to the site, I've only just joined myself and they've made me feel really welcome. I had my SAH in December of 1999 ( so I missed that Xmas and the millennium celebrations). I've been watching this board for a while but only just got round to joining (huge mistake), they're all so friendly and welcoming and I feel like I've come "home". I've been very involved with Different Strokes since my SAH and always felt isolated (as most strokes are caused by clots) and although Different Strokes was born out of the need for support for younger stroke survivors (I'm taking a big risk here actually putting down in words how I feel) I am still the youngest member in my group (I'm 44 now) and I have different needs and problems than they do. Joining Behind The Grey is the best thing I've done since becoming a grandmother in February of 2005 . I look forward to hearing more about you. All The Best Julie C

Hello Again, My fatigue hits me like Sami's. In the early days I had to take to my bed for the afternoon. Often I'd go upstairs to use the loo and feel exhausted and climb back in to bed and sleep for two hours. I'm seven years post SAH now and I find so long as I don't let myself get too tired (or drink too much) and go to bed before 11pm I can manage a full day now, I never get up before 8am though. Apart from the mental tiredness I get physically tired too... I wonder is that due to the effort we have to put in to get on with our daily lives?? I think the best thing is to listen to your body, if it's saying "I'm tired", then rest.. All The Best Julie C

So Sorry Karen You know now!!! I love chocolate, fags and vodka. And then there's the dreaded sex mania since the SAH (my poor husband). Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life...10am I've got my free voucher to join WW and I've ordered new trainers on line...that's another of my problems (internet shopping)... Sainsburys dot com delivered this evening (there was a bottle of stolichnaya and some B&H) WW dinners, lots of fruit, mineral water and muller lights (oh how boring next week is gonna be). I wont be able to do my first walk until Monday. Friday I'm having a new hair-do (colours and cut and liposuction), Saturday we are going to a 50th birthday party in Rugby and staying over, so part of Sunday will be spent in the car travelling home and recovering from a hangover (he will anywayz). I've just read a really inspirational book about women who've had hemorrhagic stroke, I'm gonna move on. I don't know about giving up smoking, but I do intend to lose weight and drink only (below the limit) at the weekends from now. Did I offer to lend you the book??? All The Best Julie x x x

Hello Again You Lovely Lot!!! Thank you Aine, Rince & Sami for your lovely welcomes. I really can't believe I left it so long to join, you're such a friendly bunch and I'm hoping one day I might meet some of you (is that a bit forward?) to swap "stories" and laughs and share a bottle of wine maybe? Just for the record, today I've checked at least four times to see what time Sainsburys are bringing my food fags and vodka this week. I'm really trying hard to "help myself" with this memory thing with notebooks, diaries, post-its etc., but if any of you have any tips please pass them on. Thank You So Much Julie C XXX

Hello Again You Lovely Lot!!! I thought I'd check my email before I left for DS today ( I do Tuesday and Thursdays), I knew I'd done my grocery shopping (on-line) but could'nt remember when it was due. What a lovely lovely welcome. Thank you for you positive comments about This Morning Keith, very nice of you!!! Karen, I'm still too heavy, but tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my lighter life (no pun intended, I'm not doing that cardboard and chemical thing). My son recently did the London 10k run for DS and I'm now totally motivated, I think if I work at it I could walk that far in 12 months (if I lose a few stones). I went to the shops yesterday (unusual for me since SAH, I mostly shop on line) and bought a new outfit (got my daughter to chose, I just don't know what's trendy anymore). It was'nt as scary as I was anticipating, I even tried the stuff on so next week I'm going again to get new trainers for this "run", though I'm more likely to hobble the course than run. Oh don't I drone... The SAH... anuersym burst on 4th December 1999 on 7th December it was clipped, unfortunately I got an infection in the bone flap and had to have that removed (what a horrid Christmas for my family) on 26th December. On 11th February 2001 I had cranioplasty (suppose that's the only cosmetic surgery I'll ever have) and you would never know, fortunately my scare is just behind my hairline and for every op (three I think) they went in on the same place) and see by your temple you have a little groove (well I do), they've even made that in the metal plate. Still droning... Initially, though I don't remember I was all left side affected and I had a feeding tube for a while (only Xmas I've ever lost weight), but I don't remember not being able to use my left arm. I use both hands very well and have no speech problems but I do have weakness in my left foot still, well all below the left knee really. I try not to let it stop me doing "stuff". I've been since about 18 months post SAH and not just around the corner, I've attempted to do stupid things (climbing up and down 250 steps in Croatia in the hottest weather I've ever been in (over 40C). My husband checked out the terrain first and I heard him tell our daughter I'd never make it (I thought he knew me better than that)... Had a strop, took ages but made it down to the beautiful clear waters. Getting back up was equally difficult and I crawled on my hands and knees for the last twenty or so steps, but I did it (and cried when I did). I've already mentioned my short term memory is hopeless, but I'm working on it, I write lists and use post its (I've tried to use a diary but can't get to grips with it). Calendars don't seem to work for me either. Last year I only forgot one birthday ... This year everyone I should send a card to has got one... Right Right, that's enough for now, I need to hit the carpark (M1). Thanks again Karen, I only wish I'd not left it so long!!! Julie C

Hi BehindTheGray (especially Karen), I've been "watching this board for a good while now but unfortunately my memory is not what it was (I bet a few of you know what that's like), so I could'nt remember my password. I've decided now to give everything that needs a password the same password. I had an SAH in December of 1999, so I missed that Christmas and the Millenium celebrations...apparently I had a grade four haemorrahge, so I'm really lucky to be here to share my "story". I'm now getting on for 8 years post SAH and my life has changed completely, but I no longer hanker after what could have been and I'm making the best of what we have (I say "we", because I guess this has happened to my whole family, not just me), my husband and daughter and sister have been incredibly support as have a number of friends and the Best Mother In Law a girl could ask for. Some of you might have seen me on This Morning a few months ago with Fern & Phil (yes he does smell of imperial leather soap). I'm very involved with Different Strokes, both as a volunteer and an active member of one of the exercise groups. I've really valued the support I've recieved by becoming part of Different Strokes, but I often feel "left out", out of a group of between 40/50ish members I'm the only SAH survivor, I've really enjoyed reading your postings and feeling "not so alone", lots of you are similar in age to me or even younger. There is also the age thing, I'm still one of the youngest members of the group I attend despite having been regularly attending since I left hospital. I would love to have contact with stroke survivors of my age!!! Also...nobody I know "lost" time, I was out of it for pretty much two months. Anuersym ruptured on 4th December 1999 and my first clear memory (although there is some hazy stuff in between) is February 2000, just in time for my husband's 40th birthday and our wedding anniversary. I hope I have'nt droned too much for a first posting, I guess I just wanted to "get it out" and introduce myself. Best Wishes To All Julie C