Hi - I've used Titanium as my 'stage name' as, along with platinum, it's one of the sturdiest metals and that's why it's often used to decorate (aka repair) our brains.
Firstly if you're a fellow SAH survivor reading this I want you to pat yourself on the back as the quoted SAH death rates vary from 45% to 80% within a month, combine that with the fact there are only 8-10k cases in the UK every year so some GPs only have one patient during their whole career then I think we're doing well! Especially when people hear you've had a brain haemorrhage they always have a tale of a relative or friend who had one too but they weren't lucky enough to wake up again.
I had my first SAH in August 2010 (no headache previous to it) - I was walking on a treadmill at the time so have realised that I shouldn't believe what they say - exercise is actually bad for you! The SAH was clipped and I went through the learning curve pretty quickly as I run my own business so had to be on the ball to pay my staff wages at the end of the month. Part of me wanted to be able to be at home to do a proper recovery but the other part of me knew that I could do that for a long time but going back to work would still exhaust me whenever it happened and by having to use my brain it got it back into the groove quicker. As I was only 38 at the time I knew I was lucky in that youth was on my side.
I had my second SAH on Friday 13th (previously my lucky date) in 2015 - again with no headache prior and literally just heading off to work. This time they looked to see if they could coil and they were able to so I avoided having hair like a nest this time. Within 8 weeks afterwards I had a large seizure (again no warning and hadn't had one prior) but fortunately the ambulance arrived quickly and gave me an oxygen fix - since then I've been on Keppra although it's questionable as it delays brain recovery (anti-cholinergic drug).
I have had 2 cerebral angiograms since and have refused to have another one moving forward. The last time something happened in my brain that the neurosurgeons haven't heard of before so given the high risk I don't think my brain will entertain it again whilst I'm awake (plus they damaged the femoral nerve artery so it was mega painkillers and unable to walk for a week).
They discovered I need more metal in the second SAH by it hasn't grown since the previous CA and I now have a third unruptured aneurysm but we're just leaving it until next year - I've done a comparative on the last 2 CAs and it hasn't grown significantly so it's safer to leave it be methinks. (Especially as I'm reading 'Do No Harm' by Henry Marsh - an insight into the world of neurosurgeons (humorous in some places and a wake-up call in others).
So, that's the harbinger of doom part written.
Do I lament my misfortune and wrap myself in cotton wool?
Absolutely not. Every day when I wake I smile because I've woken up on the right side of the grass; when I'm tired as I've been working on a screen all day then I put music on and do silly dances; I laugh internally when I express my opinions knowing that I don't really have many brain barriers now so that's my get out of jail card; I can't drive so I see and hear the tapestry of life when travelling on public transport and I appreciate everything around me when I'm on foot. I'm not married and I don't have children (as far as I know) - it's just me, myself and I but the three of us seem to be titanium when it comes to coping with these brain hiccups.
So, in the grand scheme of things I think I'm actually quite lucky and long may the luck prosper!
Sarah
SAH August 2010 - clipped; SAH March 2015 - coiled
