Macca

Hi Janet,

Welcome to BTG.  I hope I can give you some answers here but no miracle cures unfortunately!

Firstly, two months out from a bleed is next to no time. Please don't underestimate what you have been through. It was a very serious event that happened to you.  Yes, a bleed such as you describe is classed as a form of stroke and its classic sign is the thunderclap headache.  Very often you won't have the classic stroke signs advertised in the NHS FAST adverts ie Face drooping on one side, Arms, can you lift them, Speech, is it slurred and Time - get you to the hospital asap.  Sadly, they don't say H - headache of the thunderclap variety, get to hospital, bluelighted!

In my opinion, they should because it is every bit as dangerous as any other kind of stroke.

Another problem is that you can't see it - it is internal and you look normal to everyone else so they tend to underestimate it when you tell them! It's not like a broken leg where you can see the plastercast!  So you have to communicate with everyone and tell them what's happened.  It's like looking at a car without an engine - looks like a car, feels like a car, but it won't start because the engine is faulty!

To answer your questions:- 

1) How long does recovery take? Answer - it takes as long as it takes. Everyone is different, depending on how bad their bleed was, how strong you are, and how it affected you. Some recover very quickly and for others it can take months and years. In your case you've only just started to recover so don't beat yourself up about it. You could have a way to go yet.

2) Should you quit your P/T job? Only you could answer that in the fullness of time, but give yourself a chance to recover first.  You've only just started. How about a phased return to see how you get on? Or a change of duties on a temporary basis whilst you get your strength back?

3) Hit the wall?  That will happen, especially in the early days that you are now going through - that's your body telling you that you've had enough for one day - listen to it.  You won't need anyone to tell you - your body, remarkably resilient though it is, will do it for you.  Heed its advice and rest.  If there is no improvement over time or if you are worried then see your doctors again. What you describe is not uncommon after a bleed - it's normal - we've mostly all been there. We know it isn't nice and can be frustrating but there's no quick path - you just have to be patient and listen to your body. Again, if you are worried, keep in contact with your doctors.

4) What caused it?  We would all be rich if we knew the answer to that one!  My surgeon told me to imagine I was riding a bike - one minute its all ok and then you suddenly, and unluckily, get a puncture.  Some believe stress can play a part - but you can't measure that because its effects and causes are variable in everyone so it can't be measured - but avoid it where you can.

One last piece of advice - because you can't see it - communicate, communicate, communicate.  People can't help you if they don't know what's up with you - so tell them and keep on telling them.

Good luck in your recovery! And be patient, the world will still be there when you are ready to face it!  I've been there and got the T-shirt!

Hi Kathie,

Everyone is different and 9 months is not unusual.  If you do go back to work, discuss a phased return.  Take regular breaks, stay hydrated and rest when you need to.  If you can delegate work, then do so.  Whatever you do, don't bluff, they will see straight through it.

Think about going part-time or reducing hours, at least temporarily.  If, and it's a big if, it is too much, then analyse what you are doing and think about changing your job.  Stress is the last thing you need right now!

Don't forget, this is your brain you are talking about, it is at the centre of everything you do.  The symptoms you describe are very common amongst us survivors. You can get round them to a certain extent but you need to accept that change may be inevitable. Changing your job is not the end of the world - in fact it might just provide the fillip you need to push on and enjoy the rest of your life.

Put 'Back to Work' in the search box and have a look at that thread for lots more information.

I hope all goes well for you.

Macca

Don't be negative.  Look on it as an opportunity to discover new things and new ways of doing things.  You'll be surprised at what you can put your hand to when you try!

Good luck,

Macca

Hi Jackie,

In my case, when I was 'repaired,' my pituitary gland was damaged and it stopped producing growth hormone and I now have that by daily injection.  If you are feeling depressed, I would ask that they check your hormone levels as you may be deficient in them.  I know ladies of a certain age sometimes have that kind of deficiency naturally and it is rectified by HRT.  I don't know what stage of life you are at but age doesn't matter if there is a deficiency.  It needs to be identified and put right.

Well, that's what I have now, HRT - the song', "Man I feel like a woman" by Shania Twain comes to mind. 

It is only a possibility, it's just when you said the surgeons couldn't find anything wrong, my own case came to mind, as I too felt depressed until I was diagnosed with this deficiency.

I'm not saying that is what has happened in your case because I am not a doctor, but it is something you could ask about when you talk to the medical professionals.

I wish you luck,

Macca

Barrington, hi.

In answer to your question, yes in most cases it does get easier, but it takes time.

You have to adjust not only physically but mentally to what you can and cannot do.  You need to do it in stages and don't be tempted to do too much too soon.

If you are going to try something new, rehearse it privately first so you don't embarrass yourself in public.  If it proves too much then change it until you become comfortable with it.

If you lecture, are there different ways in which you can do it, ie if you normally stand, can you sit instead?  Can you produce a video lecture students can watch (taking the physical burden off you) and then be on hand to answer questions.

Think carefully about changing things, you will be surprised at what you can come up with!  When you go back to work, discuss a phased return and don't go too fast too soon!

Yes a lot of us have experienced dizziness.  Rest when you need to, break things up into manageable chunks that you can handle. Use a walking stick if you need to, or anything else you may need.

Go at your own pace, not your works pace.  You are the important thing here, after all, if they won't agree to what you need to do then they may lose the expertise you provide altogether and what a waste that would be!  Look at what you can do and move forwards  -one step at a time!

Good luck, and let us know how you get on!

Macca

Hi Carina,

I was a training instructor and had similar issues to you with regards to memorising things.

I had to write things down to use in lessons and re-learn things I already 'knew.'  It isn't easy, but keep going over things you are supposed to know and you will probably find that when in class people will say things that trigger your memory, but you will also be re-assured by your notes.

Not easy but it can be done, and your confidence will return, I'm sure.  When you do go back, do it in stages and don't agree to more work until you are sure you can handle it.

Life is more important than work!

Good luck 

Macca

Hi Michelle,

So many of us have been down this road, and you are right on all counts.

We are lucky, short term memory is still a problem, we still have headaches, dizziness and balance problems, and luckily most of us seem to have brilliant partners who you rightly applaud and appreciate.  They don't get enough credit in my book because their lives are affected by what happens to us also.

But hey, we are still here and we are lucky - look forward not back, we are who we are and you can't turn back the clock, but you can control your future.  Make it count.

Good luck, and keep posting!

Macca

Very accurate, so very very true,

I give you lots of credit, credit where it's due,

I'd fix your rememberer, but I haven't any glue,

And even if I had, I wouldn't have a clue,

How to use it prop'ly. I'd need a brain that's new,

Welcome to our brave new world, I took my cue from you!

Best wishes Poppy, great story and so eloquently put!

Macca

You know what you want to do - but your body tells you what you can do - and there is a void between the two.  Many a sports star will tell you they know where they should run, but they can't get there in the same time they used to - so they find another way and call it experience!

When you go shopping if you can't find what you want, you find an alternative - that's what you're doing now - embrace it, make the most of it and be glad you got the chance!

Good luck,

Macca

Thanks Shellie,

No matter what question you pose on here someone seems to have an answer - that's great news for everyone.  Sue, I hope you are coming along well and making steady progress, keep doing the diary, it really will show a difference over time!

Macca

Hi Colleen,

Welcome to BTG!  A well written, articulate, story that many of us can relate to very closely!

You know those angels you were talking about?

One is your wonderful husband and the other is your dog Annie. Both of them were there at the right time to give you this new opportunity at life!  Grasp it with both hands!

Don't try and validate everything - what happened has happened, it is in the past and you can't control that (but you can try and understand it) - but you can control the future.  Life has thrown you new opportunities - take them.

Don't be angry that you were spared, be thankful and grateful for the new opportunities that have been afforded you, that have been denied to so many others.

You won't do the same things as before,  or if you do you will do them differently, not better or worse, just different!

Fill your glass and celebrate the new lease of life that has come your way.  Talk about your dog like she is still with you, because in a way, she is!

And while you are at it - give your husband an extra special hug - he sounds a great guy!

Best wishes,

Macca

Aw schucks Carolyn, I'm blushing now!  Just trying to help that's all!  I'm just me!  (I've been away on holiday so sorry for the late reply!)

Win sings all the time, she has a song for everything, but we love her just the same!

Those problems you list above - we all have them at times - just stay positive -over time they may well get better and we all learn to deal with them or live with them in our different ways.

Keep posting Carolyn and keep that social Carolyn awake - why should you let them sleep when you can't?! Ha ha!

Best wishes

Macca

I just love your defiance and your optimism!  Win, your glass is always half full never half empty!  Fantastic!

Macca

Good luck Sue!

I heard a great saying yesterday -"Life doesn't come tied with a bow - but it's still a gift."  I don't know who said it, unfortunately, but it's a good way to look at life!

Macca

Hi Celia,

Sorry its taken so long to reply.  One of the common side effects of a SAH is to shake our self belief and our reluctance to accept that something has dared to take away what we always took for granted - our ability to look after ourselves!

Well, you're not alone!  It's hard to think 'Why me?' but you have to try to put that aside and think instead of the opportunities life has just thrown at you and to make sense of the different qualities you now have!

I can relate to that 'baldy' thing! haha!  Not that I was an oil painting to start with, you understand!

Everybody handles themselves differently, according to their circumstances, but at least you have the opportunity of life and the challenge of making the best of what you have.  Please keep on talking, have a look round the site and you will see you're not alone, a big comfort when you're feeling down!

Glad to have you on board.

Macca

Hi Truzzi,

Welcome to BTG!  It's hard isn't it watching one you love so much getting such a rough ride.  I slept for England after my coiling.  It was nearly two years later that they found they had damaged my pituitary gland in coiling me.  This meant it stopped producing growth hormone in me.  I'm not saying it is that in your Dad, it could be a myriad of things.  But there is hope!

This affects stamina, concentration levels and sleep patterns.  It is a hormone necessary in children for growth (hence the name), but it is just as vital in adults.

Don't forget however that your Dad is not a young man and his brain has gone through such a rough ride and it can take a long time to recover, which it will do in its own time.

If you look at the story of Michael Schumacher ,the German F1 racing driver, you will see that he is now on the road to recovery, albeit very slowly after a skiing accident where he bumped his head very badly.  He was in a coma for months.  He won't race cars again, but yesterday's papers here reported he may well lead a normal life again and he is back home with this family.  You can look him up on any reliable search engine on the net.

Many of us had to step backwards before we went forwards - so yes, there is hope.  It is a difficult road ahead, and one that can demand immense patience from those around him.  The trouble is that the brain is such a complicated thing and its traumas are many and varied.  Keep talking to us, many are still in recovery, years after the event - we are able to function better now but it was a long haul and we acknowledge the love and belief of those around us.  Sometimes it almost feels harder to watch the suffering than to go through it!

However, the human spirit is very resilient and it is now time for you to stand up and give some of the love back to your Dad that he invested in you as you grew up.  He needs you now, so please be there for him!

Keep us posted.

Good luck,

Macca

Hi Sue,

Right now, I guess you feel like you've been dragged through the bush backwards and trodden face down into the dirt!  Goodness, you've had a rough ride, but then you're not alone - we understand because we've been there too!  recovery is a slow process, but as long as you don't go too fast and go at your own body's pace, you will make steady progress.  Keep a diary, you will be amazed at the progress over time!  What you have been through is tough but it does get easier!

Get your life into focus and look after No.1 first.  Learn to say 'No' and just chill for a bit and get yourself better - work, driving etc will all still be there for you when you are ready.  Don't be impatient because you will find your body has a sharp and robust way of telling you when it isn't ready to do something!  So please be careful!

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

Macca

Hi Carolyn and welcome to BTG,

It made me laugh when you said we knew all about that crazy thinking thing!

I don't remember this but when I came round after being coiled, I apparently thought it was the same afternoon as the morning when I went in to hospital.  It wasn't, I had been there a week!  I told the nurse she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.  Nothing wrong with that except my fiancee and my sister were sitting next to me at the time.  I thought it was 1956 (which would have made me less than one year old!) and that we were in a nearby well known clothing store and that someone called Diane was prime minister!  As for losing weight so did I for a while as I lost my appetite and I didn't recognise some foods so I wouldn't eat them.  Sound familiar?

Congratulate yourself - you are normal, your brain took a pounding but you came through it and you are still in the early stages of recovery!

Here's a song for you - 'All I need is a miracle' - Mike and the Mechanics (It's Mike Rutherford from Genesis).

You are recovering thanks to the miracles of science and technology, skilled surgeons and modern technology!  As I said to someone the other day on here - you just won the jackpot in the lottery of life!

Count your blessings and stay positive!  Good luck Carolyn and please keep us posted!

Regards 

Macca

Go on to gov.uk.  There's lots of information on there.  Benefits seem to be a minefield at the moment there's so much change going on!  I would suggest keep getting the sick notes though as without them you would have to sign unemployed and be fit for work which you clearly are not.

Macca

Wow -Pat,

Welcome to BTG!  What an introduction!  Rolling over down an embankment sounds really scary and unlucky, but when you read the rest of your story, your jackpot lottery ticket just came in!

You survived and everything else you have said about headaches, comas, strange pains, aspirin and all of that is extremely normal for people who have been coiled!  And a fractured skull as well!  B-Blimey!  You should write a book!  Memory loss is also normal and again, over time your brain may re-wire itself a little and your memory may well get better but maybe not completely back to normal.  Everything that gets better is a bonus -be positive and be thankful for that!

Recovery from all of this will be slow but hey - you are still with us and every day now you will look at as a huge bonus and your perspective on life will have changed and you will, over time, re-assess your priorities in life! Sometimes things can be difficult to deal with but you will find a way even if it isn't the normal way you would have expected to! We're always here on this site and no doubt some others will re-count some of their experiences for you on here as well!  Enjoy your win in the lottery of life!  Have a look at some of the forum discussions on this site and you will see many things that will be familiar to you now!

Thanks for telling us your story - there are many similar - without the spectacular rolling over bits of course!

Have a great weekend!

Regards 

Macca