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Macca last won the day on January 9

Macca had the most liked content!

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About Macca

  • Rank
    Super Moderator

Profile Information

  • Gender


  • Biography
    60 yrs old. Two grown up sons, three grandchildren, two boys and a girl. Got married in September 12 to Sandra. Played for Oldham Athletic in early 1970s. Thankful to have found this site. Visited Hawaii and Pearl Harbor in 2003 to fulfil one off my wish list.
  • Location
    City of Salford UK nr Manchester
  • Interests
    Football (soccer), reading, finding out about SAH, Spitfires, sailing ships
  • Occupation
    retired 11/4/2014
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    1/9/2010 L Ant comm- coiled

Recent Profile Visitors

1,504 profile views
  1. Hi Tina, Hey - you came through it! I'm guessing that you didn't talk much to anyone before you went and this worry just built up unchecked until the bubble burst and all that emotion just came tumbling out. Always best to talk about these things rather than just letting them build up. It acts as a relief valve. Next time, come on here to express your fears before you go, not afterwards. This sort of stuff is what we're good at, because we've been there. We know exactly what you have gone through and it is the classic 'what if' worries - and guess what? We always think the worst and there really is no need. It's not daft or even irrational. It's what our body does to us, and that fear is us telling it back that we haven't forgotten it hurt us and we aren't going to let it happen again. Hence we build up this defensive tension and our reaction at the end is to tell it that 'I told you I wasn't going to let you hurt me!' Then the relief is palpable. It's a natural worry and not one to worry about unduly. It's not daft, or stupid, or anything to be embarrassed about. Those who haven't experienced it don't know how it feels and therefore can't empathise with us. They don't know what they don't know. It's hard to know how to react without that understanding that only the experience gives you. Thanks for sharing. It was a considerate thing for you to do and is an important message to others who share those worries. Now get back to getting on with living your life to the full. I wish you well. Macca
  2. Wow Mike -Just wow! I love your attitude, your grit and your perseverance! Well done indeed sir! Thanks for sharing this, I hope it gives inspiration, I'm sure it does. If anyone reading isn't up to this yet, just bide your time, with the right timing and the determination not to give up, we can all improve I think to our own level. The message here I think is just be the best you can be - but in your own time, it isn't a race! Macca
  3. Hi Diane, One of the things I noticed in going back into a pub (bar) was that alcohol affected me at a far earlier point than it did before. I became disorientated earlier and to be honest it worried me. Even now, 9.5 years later some beer is ok in moderation, but spirits are a no no! The second thing I'd like to say is that alcohol is a depressant and makes you feel worse in the long run. Being drunk exaggerates the stress you feel in your own mind, so I would stay away from it. Your imagination runs away with itself if you have nobody to talk to and you are drinking. Far better to stay sober and talk things through with a close friend or relative, or therapist if you have one. I have never yet found the solution to a problem in the bottom of a glass. In my humble opinion, the best way to get some answers is to start to try and think how you are going to tackle this problem and take it on. Be proactive, actively get help, don't wait for the answers to come to you. You have to go out and find them. They are there, you just have to embark on the treasure hunt, (the treasure being the solutions you seek) and make your life better through positive action, not passive surrender. If you must drink at all, do it in company and never on your own and do it in moderation. Best wishes, Macca
  4. Hi Sallios, Six months is still very early. Time is the biggest healer. it was two years before I started feeling even the slightest bit better. Take the time to reappraise what you can and can't do. You will revise it as you improve. Change has happened suddenly when previously it would have happened gradually with age. You can't turn the clock back but you can start to do things your way and control the future. Have a go at starting to think in a positive way. When things seem a bit negative, turn the flip side and think of it that way. It will start to allow you to deal with the changes. What you do will be in a different way - not better or worse - just different. There's nothing wrong with that! Don't beat yourself up about this, what you have dealt with is an ordeal that you have survived, so pat yourself on the back and start living in a more positive way. That is the best way to pay back the medical team that gave you a second chance, and the family and friends that supported you and continue to do. Good luck, Macca
  5. Hi Greg, Nice to see you back. I think you just need to take stock . You're doing great by the sound of it but you have to listen to what your body is telling you. Resting well is as important as functioning well. The 'rest' is your fuel tank, it just empties a bit faster than it used to and so you need to fill up more frequently. Also take things a little slower - remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? It's just common sense and don't forget, you are that little bit older now too, so manage your condition, don't try to beat it! Good luck sir! Macca
  6. Hi Del, Welcome to BTG. The one thing about this site is that we are all survivors. We've all been in that seemingly hopeless place, but have come through it. The statistics do indeed paint a rather gloomy picture, but there is hope. When I was first admitted, my family were told to hope for the best but expect the worst. I was in a coma. I had to have a lumbar puncture and they were going to give up on me but decided to get in a top, top, consultant to give it one last go. On the third attempt it worked. Without that, I probably wouldn't be here today. My aneurysm was an irregular shape and they were going to coil it but thought they couldn't do it. In the end, the lumbar puncture was done and I was coiled. If it hadn't been for that consultant, they were going to do an operation going in through my skull, and I don't think that would've been pleasant or as successful. I am now nearly ten years further on and in good health, generally speaking. Sadly there are no guarantees, but that doesn't mean there isn't any hope. You can only be there for her, and hope she has the resilience to pull through, and provide the support she needs now and will do in the future. I think it will be true of everyone who reads this, that we are with you and hope for the best outcome possible, and that everything that can be done is being done. I wish you and your Mum well, and please come back on and post again if we can be a release for your pent up emotion and a support mechanism by lending you our experiences of what it is like to go through a Subarachnoid haemorrhage. Best wishes, Macca
  7. Sarah, 98%-99% against 1%-2% odds are pretty good aren't they? You've probably got better odds than the risk of getting run over when you cross the road! I think you should just be happy with that for now and get on with your life. Some people must be walking around with bigger risks than that and don't even know it. I was advised to avoid head contact sports and other than that I've been ok and I'm 9.5 years out now! Well done Sarah! I hope some of those answers and our support have helped put your mind at ease somewhat. Macca
  8. Nice one Casey. I love well written poetry!
  9. Hi jenni, What a great bloke you've got there! A good man! Brains are complex and need time above all else. You will find that testing will probably continue until they do find and answer, and if they don't then you should keep pushing for one! One thing you will find without visual stimulation is that your audio stimulation will become sharper because your brain will be working to make sense of what you hear, rather than both what you see and hear. I've no doubt it is hard to adapt, but maybe answers are just round the corner. Patience is what you must learn at the moment. Even after these tests they may not know, you say. But then again, they may know, or be nearer to knowing - and once they do that, they may be able to find a solution for you. So again, try to look on the positive side. And next time your partner decides to do the school drop say "Wait, I'll get my coat" and go with them. Then you can walk back like you usually do - just take an umbrella with you! Don't let a bit of rain put you off! You will still have taken your daughter to school. And your partner will be impressed too! When you feel negative ask your self what the positive side is, turn things around to your advantage. I realise it is difficult for you at the moment but it will be better for you if you can see your way to try and change your mindset a bit. Maybe that won't be overnight, but doing small things successfully will start to help build your confidence. When you have set the ball rolling, momentum will build. Macca
  10. Hi Jenni, You sound a little sad today, but you are looking at the negative side of events. Have a look at the positive side and it looks a lot brighter. 1) You survived 2) You are still with us 3) You gave birth to a beautiful daughter. She is better with you in her life than without and that will always be the case. 4) You are the apple of her eye 5) You haven't let anyone down 6) Four months after a SAH is no time at all - recovery can take quite a time 7) What's wrong with walking to school and cuddling on the sofa? A Nothing. Your daughter will appreciate those times when she grows up, probably more than she appears to now! Nothing makes you closer than cuddling your Mum! Fantastic. 8 Don't dwell on the past - concentrate on the future, after all, you can't turn the clock back 9) Turn your activities away from purely visual ones for the time being, think about learning another language which you can do audibly, or listening to audio books, or learning a musical instrument. What it takes is determination and a positive attitude. 10) get your daughter to join in and help you. You can teach each other - activities you can do together. 11) You are the partner and Mum you always were -it's just another problem you've encountered. One thing you learn about after SAH is patience and that your body needs time to repair itself as best it can and for your brain to re-route. I'm sure over time things will get better. In my own case it was over two years before I started to feel 'up' again after having been 'down' for so long. But I got there and you will too. 12) Start learning to know what you can do, what you can do with assistance and what you can't do without help. It will alter over time, but doing this will in itself be a challenge, will keep you occupied and will make you feel more positive about yourself. Lastly, talk to people and try not to dwell on 'that night.' People are more receptive, I find, to helping you if they can see you are trying to help yourself rather than just waiting for things to happen. Involve and talk to your partner too who will appreciate your positive attitude and reassure you. Get a coffee group going and get talking to friends, you will be amazed at how much they will want to help you but were afraid to ask. So make the first move, that's all it takes. Get this problem by the scruff of the neck and tell yourself it isn't going to beat you, because you have a daughter who wants to see her Mum be the best she can be whatever the problem, because to her, her Mum is Supermum. And that's the way it should be! She loves you, so be the best you can be, nobody can ask any more of anyone than to try their best. Be under no illusions though. It may take quite a time for improvements to filter through. The doctors will do what they can, but you have to play your part too. There will be steps forward and maybe a few back with a few tears. That's normal. Don't be afraid to cry or be frustrated. No-one says life is easy. Life changes in one way or another for all of us. It's how you deal with it going forward that counts. Just keep batting and you will get through. Good luck. With that little girl behind you and with your partner at your side, what better team could there possibly be!? Nobody is an island. Nobody gets through life alone. Everyone needs help - it's just that now it's your turn to need it, so ask and don't feel one bit guilty about it. I wish you well Jenni. We've all been there, We know how you feel and well done for being so candid about the way you feel and for sharing it with us. Now we can help, so keep posting. Best wishes. Macca
  11. Mandie, I should have added that seeking help is not a sign of weakness as some seem to think. It is a sign of strength, that you have identified a problem and are seeking to do something about it. Karen is right, go and make that visit to your GP.
  12. Hi Mandie, Depression is a common factor after SAH especially if you were fit and well beforehand. The first question asked by many is "Why me?" Well, why not you? The answer is, brutal though it sounds, that it's irrelevant. It has happened and you can't turn the clock back. So a better question is "How can I recover and control my life going forward?" That's not to say you won't think about it, and I don't mean to sound hurtful, but better to dwell on what you can do than on something you can't no matter how much you might wish to. Yes, you've had a setback and it's very difficult in some circumstances to get going forwards again and carry with you some momentum. But far better to focus your mind and energy on that than searching for answers to a question no-one can definitively answer. In a sense, in my opinion, depression is akin to a bereavement - for the past you - and it takes some time to get over it. You may have some brighter spells and then relapse again. It may happen several times but eventually you come out of it to some degree and move on with your life. I suffered at the beginning, I can't deny it, but then I took a conscious decision to try and fight it. I think the things that got me through it were to ensure I kept talking about it and didn't bottle it up and let my mind run away with itself with vivid imagination, that nearly always makes it appear ten times worse. Also, I kept myself occupied as much as I could so I couldn't dwell on the depression or let it grab me. It isn't easy, and there are times when even this is not enough, but it at least minimises it whilst your brain is recovering. I hope there are some things in this that may help you, but I think the main thing for you to have is a confidante with whom you can share your issues. Also if it gets bad, then go and see your doctor and/or try to find some counselling. I am sure others will reply to you in due course. Doing nothing and hoping it will go away on its own is not an option. Be positive and proactive and do something before the tide of depression overwhelms you like the sea overruns the beach. Mood tends to go in cycles, I find and that tide will ebb and flow. Everyone needs help from time to time, after all that is why this group exists. Don't be afraid to ask for it, its your health and we all want to see you well and happy. Good luck. Macca
  13. Sarah, just allow extra time to get across the city - the main thing is getting yourself heard and the capability of the consultant - you'll be getting it from the horse's mouth, which is what you want and need. As for the location, that might just be where the consultant is that day, so I wouldn't read anything into that per se. At least they have found the time to see you. Don't forget to make that list of questions you want answering so you don't leave anything out due to nerves or bad memory! And don't stand up for obnoxiousness - give as good as you get! Remember, they should have told you all of this earlier, and it's probably because they know they've not done what they should that he has found the time! Good luck! Macca
  14. Hi Sarah, Well done for speaking up for yourself. In this day and age, it's a bit much not to expect you to do a bit of research on the net - why shouldn't you? The only answer to that can be is they didn't want you to know or cause trouble for them. In reality, what they should have done is told you at the time they found out instead telling you off. I would back up your complaint in writing if I were you, not just for yourself but to try and ensure others aren't in the same boat. And if the information per chance isn't correct on Google, then ask them to take action to have it put right. If it is right then they have no reason to be scolding you in the first place, unless they were prepared to give you the information in the first place. If they'd done what they were supposed to you wouldn't have felt the need to resort to the Net. Make sure you chase them up. Also copy them into a written complaint, then they know you are serious and hopefully they will fit you in. Whatever they do, make sure you keep making noises about it until they take action. ie make things happen and make them do their job. That's what I would do!
  15. Sometimes I think these guys just don't appreciate the angst they cause when they say things to each other, but don't involve you or keep you informed. I feel your frustration and I really hope they see you asap. Macca
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