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Macca last won the day on April 19

Macca had the most liked content!

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About Macca

  • Rank
    Super Moderator

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  • Biography
    60 yrs old. Two grown up sons, three grandchildren, two boys and a girl. Got married in September 12 to Sandra. Played for Oldham Athletic in early 1970s. Thankful to have found this site. Visited Hawaii and Pearl Harbor in 2003 to fulfil one off my wish list.
  • Location
    City of Salford UK nr Manchester
  • Interests
    Football (soccer), reading, finding out about SAH, Spitfires, sailing ships
  • Occupation
    retired 11/4/2014
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    1/9/2010 L Ant comm- coiled

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1,572 profile views
  1. Hi Matthew, Fatigue is a common bugbear with most of us. Brain injuries are different from any other conditions because the brain is your body's control box! Nearly four years isn't that long in brain recovery times. Everyone is different and some take longer than others. I' m nearly ten years out and I still suffer with fatigue and i know I always will. The brain seems to take longer to repair than other parts of the body. You may well recover, but it will take a long time. What you need to do is adapt to how you are now. Resting well is as important as working well. You wife probably does not understand because she has never suffered a SAH herself and it is always difficult to explain to someone who isn't 'in the know.' It isn't her fault, it's just the way it is. Perhaps learn to adapt and take the kids from her when you are feeling well and up to it, even if it isn't absolutely necessary at the time. Have fun with them, teach them, go out with them and let your wife have some 'me' time. There is no law that says she has to have the kids all the time because 'she's the woman.' Share the load with her, but do it when you are able and do it because you want to. Being a parent is a two person job, so chip in when you can. Offer to do it rather than be told to do it - they are your kids too, and Mums do a terrific job. Your wife probably had her hands full when she was supporting you when you were really ill. For her, it seems like she feels it is still going on and she needs some relief. And you need to have some sympathy with that view. The biggest thing, though, is to talk to your wife. Show her this site, as others have suggested, so she can get a better insight. I'm just telling it like it is. Some days you can do more than on others. Don't use your condition as an excuse not to do things because you don't feel like it, because people see through that. You don't do it because you really can't on that day. It's difficult, but in taking care of your kids, talk to them too, so that they understand what is wrong with you also. Remember Frank Carson, the comedian - "It's the way you tell -em." You have to be the new you, not the old you. Your old brain is in the photo album with your old photos. Your new brain is in you now, with changes made that make you do things differently now, not better or worse, just differently. Adapt, Matthew, don't let your visions of yesteryear torture your todays. Adapt and get on with life in the best way that you can, in the present. Just do it a little differently than you used to. Changes have happened suddenly so accept that and change the way you approach things before they change you. Approach the battle on the same team, a united front, not fighting from different corners, from where you will end up slugging it out with each other. Look at life's road signs and navigate together. Good luck, Macca
  2. Hi, As Supermario says make sure you appeal within 28 day of the the date on the decision letter - not from when you receive it. Unless theere is something blatantly wrong, the DWP will usually back their own, original decision. So try and get your appeal letter prepared before it arrives so it is ready to send off straight away. You can always amend it slightly if there is something unexpected in your letter. Make sure your letter says I wish to appeal the decision of --/--/----. When the appeal date is due, make sure you attend. The decision will more likely go for you if you attend than if you don't. DWP don't even attend a lot of appeals anymore. They are currently losing about 70% of appeals. It seems they are playing a percentage game. The people hearing the appeals are generally very nice, so there is no need to be nervous. You can take a friend with you or a representative if you wish. Good luck, Macca
  3. Hi Iola, Nice to hear from you again! It's hard to pull away from work, but what I would say to you is consider working differently. Can you become the traffic police officer - directing instead of doing, delegating and organising, instead of being the worker bee all the time! just try and do little things that ease the pressure and the stress. I don't know what you do, but usually there are things that can be changed or adapted. Well done for getting to seven years. It will be ten for me in September! Good luck, hope things are well with you and yours, Best wishes, Macca
  4. Hi Carolyn, When I was coiled, my pituitary gland was damaged. As a result some of my hormones and vitamins became deficient. I now have to have daily injections of a hormone to combat fatigue. It hasn't completely cured it but I am much better than I was. I am a rare case, I know, but if it can happen to me........... I am not for one minute saying this is the cause of your fatigue, because there could be a number of reasons, but what I would say is broach the subject with your medical team and get them to check it. At least that could be explored and eliminated. At least ask because if you don't ask you don't get. Worth a try maybe? best wishes, Macca
  5. Devastated by this news. My SAH was almost ten years ago. It was some time before I found out about this site and when I joined Win was one of the first people to greet me and she told me about singing and having a laugh. I didn't think much of it at first but then one day she said something very profound and it has stuck with me ever since. She told me there was always someone worse off than yourself, and rather than be miserable and look on the down side of life, I should look for new opportunities as the 'new you.' It didn't dawn on me until a couple of days later what she was really saying- my flash to bang time wasn't very good after my SAH - that she was indeed talking about herself, and she was basically telling me I should count myself lucky. I could still see my kids and grandkids grow, I could still walk and talk and look forward to going back to work, albeit in a reduced capacity, and so on. The more I thought about it, I thought that's one savvy, gutsy lady, what have I got to cry about. From that realisation day on, I always tell people to look on the bright side of life, have your sad moment, but then get back on your feet and take the world on and get the most out of life. That's what Win did for me - and she told me in that most British, English way - with classic, understated brilliance and simplicity that I only had to open my eyes to see. Thanks Win, RIP Sleep tight. Macca
  6. Hi Mark, When you next go in for a check up, ask them to check your hormone levels. That feeling worse than you did when you went to bed is well known to me, and I was shown to be deficient in hormone levels and I now have replacements. I'm not saying that's it in your case, because you just might need time as your event was so recent, I'm just saying it's worth mentioning and having them checked. In my case it went on and on and on, and my levels were checked and hey presto, I'm on HRT for life now! (Remember that song? (Man I feel like a woman! Shania Twain I think it was - I don't laugh at it now!) Good luck mate! Macca
  7. Brenda, I think what we're all trying so hard to say is, "You'e not alone now, don't carry the load all by yourself, share it with us."
  8. Hi Brenda and welcome to BTG. Short term memory is one of the casualties of SAH. Your husband's brain will be trying to re-wire itself. From the great replies above, you will gather that it is quite normal or usual to have these problems. Longer term memory is less affected. Over time, it will get better to some extent - as did mine - but as Tina says it is still very early in recovery stages. Good things to be doing for him will be to make notes of anything he needs to remember, keep a diary, keep on repeating things until they become long term memories. Once you transfer the memory into the 'other box' he stands a better chance of remembering. Skippy catches what I am trying to say above. Please remember, he can't help it at the moment, so you need to be tolerant of him and give him the support, space and time to recover. Resting well is just as important as him making an effort. At this stage of his recovery he will tire easily, but it will get better over time. It is a slow and gradual process though. He might look normal because there are no scars to see, but there is internal damage that needs love and care, support and time to heal as best it can. Everyone's journey is different and times vary from individual to individual, but big improvements can be made. Keep a diary of your own, noting what he can and can't do, and over time when you look back on it, you will see big improvements have been made, almost without noticing. Remember when a relatives kids are growing up? if you are with them every day you don't notice much, but if you haven't seen them for six months you say 'My word look how much you've grown!' Well, it's a bit like that with this recovery lark! We're always here, so feel free to ask your questions whenever you want to and you will get replies, for sure. Best wishes Macca.
  9. Congratulations KAthy - well done on reaching your milestone - and the smile on your little one's face on her birthday must make it all seem worthwhile! You can't buy that! So glad you are with us! Macca
  10. Hi Matt - and welcome to BTG. Please stop beating yourself up about this. You are most definitely not a fraud. Your body has been through a major trauma and you need time to recover. It is a slow process and your body will be telling you that over and over again for a long time to come. Patience is a virtue! It is also a cause for concern that you think you can't see any scars and therefore that you should be alright - but the injury is internal and you CAN'T see it! To use an analogy, it is like looking a a car with not a scratch on it, without realising there is no engine in it and it won't go. At the moment you are that car!! So it doesn't work as you describe Matt - real life isn't like that! You will over time need to make adjustments and one of the biggest challenges for you now is to realise that something big has happened to you and that you will need to adjust. We all normally do this with age and maturity but in your case, as well as ours, you are now having to think about it due to a sudden event - your SAH. Once you get your head around that, it becomes easier to deal with. One thing you will perhaps need to do is re-evaluate what you do and see if you can delegate some things to others, relinquish some duties, go on less hours, train others instead of doing the job yourself and so on, ie pass on your knowledge to others etc etc. It needs a bit of thought and it sounds like you have a great employer - keep talking to them, especially about your treatment and limitations. Remember they can't see your illness so you need to keep telling them. Fatigue will be a bug bear for some time to come, and you will maybe have short term memory problems so start keeping a diary, make notes and keep referring back to them. Many of us experience these things and keep diaries, but although there are many things very similar, everyone's journey to recovery is different. In terms of your medical problems keep in touch with your medical team because we can't give medical advice - there's good reason for that - we're not doctors and we're not qualified - so go to the people that are! What we can do though, is recount our own experiences and provide you with support and advice on other matters that you don't get in any doctor's surgery. Feel free to come on here and share your experiences and someone will usually be able to answer. Have a look round the site by clicking on the main subject titles and lots of different threads will come up. Good luck Matt!
  11. Daff - well done on getting to this milestone anniversary! I've read your blog and there are so many similarities with my own story and I'm sure other peoples' too. There are a few things that leap off the page to me and they are perhaps things that are between the lines: 1) The suddenness with which the change is thrust upon us. It is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with and is like a blinding darkness in front of your eyes that you cannot see beyond for a long time. Then you start to adapt to the new you and find a resilience and creativity to do things you did before but perhaps in differing ways; 2) The hope and aspirations that we have, built within our souls, that are maybe hidden until this sudden event brings them to the fore that makes us carry on and appreciate the things we have a little more than we did before; 3) The love and devotion of those around us who helped us through our traumas and gave us the strength to get back up off the floor and battle on - because despite its ups and downs, life is worth it and our abilities to adapt and change are second to none. Well done Daff, what you have done in your time since the 'event' is truly amazing and I am in awe of you.
  12. Hi Tina, Hey - you came through it! I'm guessing that you didn't talk much to anyone before you went and this worry just built up unchecked until the bubble burst and all that emotion just came tumbling out. Always best to talk about these things rather than just letting them build up. It acts as a relief valve. Next time, come on here to express your fears before you go, not afterwards. This sort of stuff is what we're good at, because we've been there. We know exactly what you have gone through and it is the classic 'what if' worries - and guess what? We always think the worst and there really is no need. It's not daft or even irrational. It's what our body does to us, and that fear is us telling it back that we haven't forgotten it hurt us and we aren't going to let it happen again. Hence we build up this defensive tension and our reaction at the end is to tell it that 'I told you I wasn't going to let you hurt me!' Then the relief is palpable. It's a natural worry and not one to worry about unduly. It's not daft, or stupid, or anything to be embarrassed about. Those who haven't experienced it don't know how it feels and therefore can't empathise with us. They don't know what they don't know. It's hard to know how to react without that understanding that only the experience gives you. Thanks for sharing. It was a considerate thing for you to do and is an important message to others who share those worries. Now get back to getting on with living your life to the full. I wish you well. Macca
  13. Wow Mike -Just wow! I love your attitude, your grit and your perseverance! Well done indeed sir! Thanks for sharing this, I hope it gives inspiration, I'm sure it does. If anyone reading isn't up to this yet, just bide your time, with the right timing and the determination not to give up, we can all improve I think to our own level. The message here I think is just be the best you can be - but in your own time, it isn't a race! Macca
  14. Hi Diane, One of the things I noticed in going back into a pub (bar) was that alcohol affected me at a far earlier point than it did before. I became disorientated earlier and to be honest it worried me. Even now, 9.5 years later some beer is ok in moderation, but spirits are a no no! The second thing I'd like to say is that alcohol is a depressant and makes you feel worse in the long run. Being drunk exaggerates the stress you feel in your own mind, so I would stay away from it. Your imagination runs away with itself if you have nobody to talk to and you are drinking. Far better to stay sober and talk things through with a close friend or relative, or therapist if you have one. I have never yet found the solution to a problem in the bottom of a glass. In my humble opinion, the best way to get some answers is to start to try and think how you are going to tackle this problem and take it on. Be proactive, actively get help, don't wait for the answers to come to you. You have to go out and find them. They are there, you just have to embark on the treasure hunt, (the treasure being the solutions you seek) and make your life better through positive action, not passive surrender. If you must drink at all, do it in company and never on your own and do it in moderation. Best wishes, Macca
  15. Hi Sallios, Six months is still very early. Time is the biggest healer. it was two years before I started feeling even the slightest bit better. Take the time to reappraise what you can and can't do. You will revise it as you improve. Change has happened suddenly when previously it would have happened gradually with age. You can't turn the clock back but you can start to do things your way and control the future. Have a go at starting to think in a positive way. When things seem a bit negative, turn the flip side and think of it that way. It will start to allow you to deal with the changes. What you do will be in a different way - not better or worse - just different. There's nothing wrong with that! Don't beat yourself up about this, what you have dealt with is an ordeal that you have survived, so pat yourself on the back and start living in a more positive way. That is the best way to pay back the medical team that gave you a second chance, and the family and friends that supported you and continue to do. Good luck, Macca
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