phil13

Hi Everyone! I've just got back from Leicestershire, Hinkley to be exact, and I couldn't wait, knackered as I am, to get to this board and I'm overwhelmed with the wonderful things you are all saying. (Neil Diamond is singing 'Love On the Rocks' on the TV as I write - great song! Sorry.) Louise, I had the 'marvellous' task of dealing with the consultant at the hospital who informed me, 'We don't want to prolong Sharon's death any longer, so we won't be keeping her on the respirator or treating her any longer'(I kept this from her family until she was 'in the clear'). At the same time, I was advised in so many words to accept and give up on her - I came away seething but my sweetheart proved them wrong and was kicking all the way; literally. She still had her memory then, and it was one of the most emotional times I've ever experienced in my life. I went in one evening and asked her if she remembered the house, our lovely garden that she virtually lived in and nurtured, and the adventures we'd have in our camper; she had a tracheostomy but the words 'I love you' were perfectly formed in her mouth, it was unbelievable! These days, I'd have to say she probably has no memory of those times but she knows me when go in. Pam, we are thinking of paying for private physio, but we are going to have a meeting with the Stroke Rehab Unit, who monitor Sharon's condition, and push for physiotherapy. I don't like the way Sharon's foot is starting to point forward due to the limited movement in her legs; it may be the fact we need but I know about the battle to get things and sometimes I wonder if it is down to funding. Bogbrush, thank you so much; you were up ****** early this morning!! And thank you Shanti and Fifibucks, we are fed up and feel she's been dumped even though the nursing home are great with her but they only do what the care pack says to do. I'm so grateful to you all - you have really lifted my spirits. I haven't had much to eat today and this glass of wine is making me p****d!! So Goodnight and I'll see you all tomorrow. Phil xxxxx

Thank you so much Pam and Cal, You've hit the nail on the head Pam, I was discussing Sharon's progress with her family the other day - we were told 'that's it' and she doesn't get physio - we all agreed that Sharon needs physio in order to have any chance of recovery. The general feeling is that they've been a little quick in righting her off which seems to be the case across the board from what I've read. And I have to adjust her 'boots' because she moves her legs which has resulted in her left foot 'pointing' ballerina style. She isn't an 'empty vessel' for want of a better term, last night when I saw her she was p****d off and showed it - she hates the splints and the nurses have commented that it's a real 'battle' to put them on - she groans and 'spits'! (I've caught quite a few in the face!!!) I know she probably doesn't remember 'us' from before but she always responds to me. There is a difference in her from even three months ago, I know these are tiny signs but in Sharon's case and where she is at the moment, they are big steps. When you know a person's 'lust for life' and natural determination you interpret things that 'professionals' don't have any idea about. Seeing Sharon grimace and trying to move speaks volumes as far as I'm concerned and I've conditioned myself to not read too much into the things she does. Cal, I am have moments all the time where I wonder if I'm just 'seeing things' but I resolved myself to the fact that no matter what does or doesn't happen I will always be there for her because she would be there for me. I must dash now, I have a four hour drive to Leicestershire with my students - they're in the final of a competition. I'll speak to you all tonight. Thanks again. Phil

Thank you all very much it's great to feel some real support - this past year I've battled on looking after her son, Edward who is 11 years old and coping very well. Sharon and I are both 45, her birthday is two weeks after mine; 4th May, mine is 13th April. She has her moments when things happen out of the blue, such as a month or so ago I went in and said 'Hiya sweetheart, are you OK?' and I heard the word 'NO.'. She can't talk so I tend to put these things down to coincidence but at the same time I can't help but wonder. But thank you all again - I got to eat my tea and pop across to see her so I'll speak to you all soon. Phil

Hi, I'm Phil and I've just found this site. I've sent a PM to Karen explaining 'my story' which involves my partner Sharon. She had an SAH (grade IV) on 10th March 2007 and survived it, but she has severe brain damage. She is in a nursing home three miles away which makes it easy for me to visit her as I do every day. Her cousin met a woman who went through exactly the same treatment and was given the same prognosis (dreadful), but after a few years made a full recovery. I live in hope that maybe Sharon might be one of those lucky few, but regardless of the long term I will visit her every day because she would do exactly the same for me. I haven't had a chance to read a lot of the posts but I'm so pleased I've found a place I can talk about my sweetheart and share thoughts with people who have experienced SAH. Phil