Lauren D

Hi Myra I have just read your story and you have had a rotten time of it. But you've got this far and in six months time you'll look back and see how much further you have come in that time. After the first six months me and my SAH buddy I found on Different Strokes found we were improving noticeably month on month. I found that it was much longer to recover than I had expected, and I went back to work after 10 weeks only to crash out with exhaustion and made myself a rod for my own back, but I wasn't getting paid and there wasn't anyone to support me. Have you read "Letter from Your Brain" on an American site, it really gives a good idea of how to deal with our brains and how we feel after SAH. Take care and take as much time as you can. Hopefully your family will be able to grasp that it is very hard work getting better. Lauren xxx

Hi Myra So it's not long since you started your sah journey? I hope you're doing well. I live in Orpington, where are you? Lauren

Thank you for your support, it's so nice to read some kind words, I didn't realise what my family were like until this happened. Without good friends and especially the Brain and Spine Foundation, I would never have got through it. I still have PTSD issues because of some of the things that were said to me and having to be woken from my coma to be told "if you don't sign this you'll die" because I kept saying no leave me alone - as my sister said afterwards "I didn't want you to blame me if you came round disabled", then later after my second coiling just sending me a text in HDU and leaving me to get the train home from Kings ... and calling me mental when I've dared to express a view ... being told my only role in the family is to care for my elderly mum with mental health issues and dementia and that I don't have any right to be told what they're doing with her money has just finally got to me. Mum says I make too much fuss over what happened and should be over it and it means I must be a bit odd because of it, however no-one else I know seems to think there's anything wrong with me. Also in the middle of it all one of my best friends fell over hit her head on the station platform and died of a susequent brain haemorrhage - that put my situation into perspective but it has been a real struggle to deal with it emotionally on my own. I hate to bother other people and try not to get depressed but tend to bottle it all up as it's not fair on friends and of course they can't understand the struggle of getting over SAH as it's so invisible. So I've done a lot of isolating myself, although I'm lucky I play tennis and go running and can go out and meet people when I want to. I just feel very isolated with it all, even though I'm not physically. I've run 2 London marathons for the BSF and they put me on their leaflet and I'm going to the New Forest to do a half this weekend, so life isn't at all bad, but I was so sad about my divorce ten years ago and have spent much time looking after mum with her mental problems always in and out of hospital, and when it came for me to need something I discovered that they virtually all abandoned me. I won't neglect mum though as she can't help it and has to go along with them as she knows they'll do the same to her if she speaks out. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. Lx

It was so good to meet up with fellow survivors and I wished after that I'd spoken to more of you. Alison's book is really good, especially as she included some of the things I said to my family after my SAH in 2004 which they interpreted as signs of mental instability. Sadly my sister has stuck to this stance this last 4 years which has nearly driven me over the edge and I'm heartbroken. As I have to make sure my elderly mum gets the best care I can get given that my illness gave my sister and brother in law the opportunity to gain control of her finances the post SAH nightmare is never ending. I cannot believe what my family have done to me following the illness and have covered it up in shame but have made the decision to be more open as I need to do so for my own sanity. I have a good job nice home and friends but am divorced. I never expected to find myself in such a vulnerable predicament but then you never can tell.