AndyH

Wow I really was drunk when I wrote that!!! Thanks you lot for the things you have written. I didn't get angry with heather. The guy bore the full brunt of any emotions that were let loose at that point. My hands are swollen and I feel bad about what happened. Oh well, he was in my house and he took a chance. His fault I suppose! I just wish I hadn't reacted as violently. Thats my next mission, to learn not react this way. Thanks again for being something to fall back on. Andy

I can send anyone copies of some sleep cds I have. Just let me know who needs em and I will copy them off. They work wonders for me. Andy

Another incident to deal with!! First night of hols, FIRST NIGHT. ****, ****, shitshitshit!!!! Here I am drunk (now) ****** off and angry. Go for a beer, came home. Walked into the kitchen to see heather stood leaning on the side with her jeans round her ankles with a guy. I reacted in an angry way ( understatement of the year) ha ha ha . Told the guy to leave and heped him to the gate. How do I stop reacting like this? Bollox, bollox bollox. Its bollox but its also how I react, Hmmmph what next? lol. WEish i could vanish! Andy

Alright mate, welcome to the site!! Andy

Thanks Andy. I do hope that it raises awareness of THE issue rather than just Heathers issue. At the moment I am leaning towards the Heathers issue slant but it has got a few people looking at the site so it must have raised awareness somewhere along the line. Anyway I am at work and have to go. Take care Andy

Morning Jayne. It might not help but I would ask myself how many nights I spent there when nothing untoward happened. I would compare the figures and go with that. Each time I would look at the bed I would allow the feelings to come and then remember a time when something good and positive happened there. I would go back to a time when I was just waking up in the bed and stretching, to one of those mornings when all was well with the world. Hope that that is of some use to you. Andy

Thank you Hannah. It was much better but i still think it could have been more! Thanks again though Andy

Thanks for putting this up Karen!!! I can show family and friends all over the world now. Thanks again. Andy

Hi there Wendy, Heather has the same ups and downs as you do. She gets very frustrated and upset sometimes about the unfairness of it all. Prior to her SAH she worked full time and was fully independant. Now she is on sickness benefits and due to the way her SAH has left her she is with somebody 24 hours a day. She has to be to keep her from putting herself at risk. Still she is moving forward and she is still recovering. You may have heard Heather refer to brain injury as being the hidden disablity on This Morning the other day. Well time to go and stare at my lawn. Its growing too fast with the rain and it has been to wet to cut it. See ya. Andy

Hi Jayne, Welcome to what has proved to be an invaluable resource for me. The people here have supported and helped me cope with my wifes SAH and no doubt will do the same for you! Top bunch of people they are too. Andy

Hi Debbie, I wanted to answer this post but I haven't suffered any brain injury, my wife has. I have never felt'normal' and have prided myself in my difference. As Scott said in the post above we never get to be the person we were again. I am not the same person that I was yesterday and I am not the same person as I was prior to Heather becoming ill. Some changes happen slowly some, like brain injury, happen fast. Its a case of what do we do with the changes. Once again I know I haven't experienced the same level of change as you or Heather but I know that acceptance has helped me to adjust to the differences in my life post SAH. Take care lass. Andy

Morning. Heather describes her fatigue as 'an overwhelming urge to sleep' and 'it starts in my head then spreads throughout my body'. She also says 'it doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing.There is no arguing with it, it just takes over and I start to sink'. Other words she has used are leaden, heavy and absolutely ****** well knackered!! Time for breakfast so I am off! Andy

Welcome to the site and THANK YOU for the message! Andy

Jeremy Kyle is the bane of my mornings at home!!!!

Hi karen, I will ask Heather to sit with me and complete the questions. It may take some time as her attention span is a wee bit short!!! Andy

Hi Karen and anyone else reading. Heather is what I call a sleep monster. She can sleep anywhere, anytime and seemingly for an infinite length of time!! Before her SAH she slept a normal working mums pattern, up early and bed early usually around 10 and up at 6. These days if it wasn't for my kness, feet and elbows in her back I believe she would never get up. Once up I drop her off at her mums she has a nap around 8 am- 9am. When she gets home she will curl up on the sofa for a nap whilst watching Jeremy Kyle of all things 10 am- 11 ish. Later in the afternoon she will nap, 1-3, before collecting Louis and sometimes she will nap early evening around 6ish. Usually gets to bed around 10-11 and is then up around 6. Her pattern has definatly changed!!! Anyway take care all. Andy

Hi there Jenny. Believe me it is sometimes difficult to place all Heathers new traits in the context of her aneurysm/sah. I wish I could, it would make caring for her so much easier. I have to deal with the issues as a father, husband and carer. Its so frustrating at times. I am finally climbing out of the hole that the last incident of sexual disinhibition. It would be lovely to be able to say 'Oh thats just her injury that makes her do that!'. At the moment though I am working on it! I hope its another 6 months before the next one, couldnt face another one so soon. Anyway gotta go as I took Heather to the gym today and I am tuckered! I Will keep keepin on because I want to! Take care. Andy

Hi Jenny, I am on here sporadically at the moment but I will offer any support that I can as a fellow carer. We have just had another 'little' set back (see Coping with Hypersexuality in the relationships part of the forum) and I am coming to terms with it at the moment. Our social worker has just set up a support group for carers of those with brain injury. No matter how the injury occurs a lot of the symptons are the same. We meet once a month in the centre of Leeds and its good for me as I meet carers with 20+ years experience. Anyway feel free to blether on to me whenever you choose. I do check back although at the moment not very often. Take care lass. Andy

Hi Aine and everyone else too. Heather has seen a number of pschologists and psychiatrists. I have attended most of her appts with her too. She has just been referred to another one too, we see him mid-June. Heather was unfortunate enough to have had damage to the frontal lobe area so her problems are suitable for psychologists and psychiatrists to work with. At first I was nervous because in the past due to Heathers risk taking behaviour, I have sat in on panels that have mentined the dreaded 'section' word. Luckily none of the professionals in the meeting took that idea any further. All in all the team that Heather is working with at the moment have supported her in gaining insight and a better understanding of what has been going on for her. I for one am happy to have them around now. Oh as for the brain damage, insult, trauma. Heather prefers the term brain injury or just injury. I suppose its horses for courses. I know that I have been frowned at when I have said things like 'Heathers brain damage causes her to x'. The PC brigade are not keen on brain damage but then I am not really bothered as to what they think. If its ok with Heather then thats how I discuss it. Have nice friday you lot. Andy

!!!

Hi Clare, I am glad to hear things are settling a bit. One of the first words that anyone used to describe Heather, post SAH, was glib. Heather, at the time, was remarkably dismissive about the whole affair and still can be. Her pressing of buttons sounds a lot like Heather. Heather used to pull at all the wires and and tubes and it got to the point where the nurses bandaged her hands!!! As for personality traits, I am afraid you will have to wait and see. Heather is far more caring than she ever was and is always available for a cuddle or a kiss these days. I have a wife who is far more approachable than she ever was before. I have changed a lot of the years aswell. Anyways gotta go. Sleep well. Andy

Hello everyone, Just got back from seeing the rehab consultant and we asked a few questions, as we all do. I asked if there was anyway that she could help me to get Heather to understand the severity of what happened and how the bleed affected her brain i.e where the bleed took place and how the areas affected work. It was a very positive meeting and she said that having spoken to Heather for a short period she was aware of a vast improvement. The first thing she did was take us through the scan reports from day 1. The first two scans (CT) confirmed that Heather had had 1 massive bleed followed by a 2nd 2 hours after. Most of the blood was around the middle and the left hand front side although the bleed occured on the right hand posterior comm artery. She then took us on to the angiograms that confirmed the position of the rupture. After that she took us through the operation findings and consequences. It was at this point she said that Heather had a 12mm tear in the artery!! 12 MM! I never thought it could be possible to have such a big tear! Then I thought 'well is it?' So, how big was yours? Take care one and all. Andy

HI Clare, I have been told that my 9 year old could be checked around his thirties, but not to worry. The chances of him having an aneurysm are very small. As for reocuurence I have no idea. Heather was told that she is just as much at risk as anyone else now. Anyway got to go. See ya! Andy

Am glad to hear that your mum is picking up. I reckon those crying jags you are having are normal so I wouldnt worry too much about them. Look after yourself!! Andy

Just a quick word regarding something you mentioned ie It struck me too that the longest period of time that was mentioned for recovery was 18 months and I am at 18 months as of April 23!. I have spoken to a lot of brain specialists and read a number of books about the brain. One of the facts I picked up on from them is that recovery is usually fast for the first 2 years and then, slowly, it continues for the rest of the persons life!!! The brain is marvellous and has great potential when faced with adversity. It begins the healing process instantly and never stops! Just thought I would add that. Andy