Hello HollyEllen. Didn't think this would be my first post but just can't pass by your post and not reply.
Please don't give up, do what ever you can to release these emotions, go out side and scream as loud and as long as it takes to release the anger and frustration, never worry about what the neighbours or any one else thinks.
Take a good long look at the new you some where in there will be good points and if you can't find them think of the biggest one, the new you is the survivor of this terrible illness not the old you, I found that the first point of my recovery and the biggest thing, i also try to focus on the bad points of the old me like not being close enough to my family, sitting on my butt all day if i was of work and not being confident enough amongst others and be glad they are gone, every thing else can be worked on day by day.
When it comes to my family I find that just like a child I need a wee time out now and again, I explained to those closest to me that if I just walk away its for this reason and this reason only and I'm not being righteous nor ignorant.
You had it bad you survived now go out side and shout as loud as you can I AM ALIVE!!!
Hope you feel better soon, bye
Think I may go introduce my self now lol
