Karen

Hi,

Back home again......The Doc's given me a prescription for some tabs to help the dizziness in the short term....but I'm only meant to take them when it's really rough and I can't cope....as he said that the brain won't start to re-learn.....but it's good to have something just in case......especially when I'm out!

I'm having to have some more blood tests for cholesterol, anaemia and thyroid. He said that he could see I was fairly low this time, but isn't too happy about giving me anti deps at the minute, due to the seizure aspect. He sent me away with a Depression/Anxiety ticksheet and just told me to select an honest answer and send it back to him. In one sense I'm fairly happy not to have anti-deps, as the thought of having seizures again and not being able to drive, would probably lower my mood even more.

I'm really glad to know that my ear problem, dizziness..walking..eyesight etc. has now been linked together and finally acknowledged...............rather than it being put down to anxiety.......as I've sometimes thought that I'm going nuts!

So, it's been a good day and I finally feel as though I'm getting somewhere, which is a relief in itself and has improved my mood considerably!

Anyway, will come back later, but need to do some work...

Love to all

K x

Hiya,

Just got back from the Docs. Well, he's a lovely man and always listens and takes in what I say.......which is always a good start!

He says that the tinnitus in my left ear and the pressure feeling is the brain damage caused by the SAH....which is affecting my balance and causing a multitude of other problems. At least I know that it's all connected.........it's great isn't it........talk about damaged goods......one dodgy ear and one dodgy eye!! (he he!!)

He's told me to chase up the Brain Injury Centre at Poole Hospital for my follow up physio...........I've been waiting about a month and a half for the appointment, but nothing's come through. They are meant to be re-training my brain to cope with the balance problem and then hopefully I will start to see some improvement.

Anyway, I will add to this later......but my Husband wants to go out now!!

K x

Hi Andy,

I really hope that you start to feel better in the next couple of days....have you had your blood pressure checked out?.....re: headaches etc.

Anyway. as you can probably see by my posts.............I'm feeling really bored............but oh so tired!!.......back to see the Doc in the morning...could really do with a pick me up.....think that my brain cells need something to do. Any suggestions? Fed up with cleaning etc.....which probably shows that I'm feeling better! But can't even find the inspiration to pick up my hobbies etc.......which I have loads.

Is this depression? I'm not quite sure what the term means.....but all the stuff that I used to do, sometimes seems of little insignificance. I need some inspiration I suppose........I feel that the half intelligent side of me, seems to have faded away.......Oh dear! this is sounding a bit sad...but I'm not.....just need something to motivate me.....sometimes, I get so annoyed with myself!!!!

Anyway, just hope that the Doc can wave his magic wand!!

Take care all....hope that tomorrow is a good day for us all!!

Love K x

Hiya,

Drinking water certainly seems to help the headaches.....but yes, you do seem to spend much of the day in the loo......I'm still drinking the Isotonic sports drinks...they do seem to help with the energy...it says on the bottle that they provide more effective re-hydration than water......it's probably just a marketing ploy though!! At least water is cheaper!!

Still haven't got around to hoovering....I've been putting it off and been doing the internet banking for the next month.....my daughter will be home from school in a minute, so I'm going to have to get a wriggle on!

Anyway, going now to have some fun hoovering up all the Daddy long legs that seem to have taken residence in our house.............is there a plague of them this year, there's stacks of them......normally the dog is quite partial to eating the odd spider....so was hoping that he might of helped me out......but no, they obviously don't taste good!

See you later,

K x

Hi Sami,

It's good not to wake up with a headache..........fingers crossed that you will have a head free day. Just hope that you don't get one reading all thise leaflets!

Thanks for the ironing tip! You are so right! Only just finished.....but still haven't got through it all.....but had enough of it.........it's such a boring job!

Anyway, going to get some lunch......this afternoon is going to be even more exciting.............hoovering! (Whooohoo!!)....can't wait.....what's happened to my life!!!!

K x

Good morning to you too!

I don't blame you for not wanting another angio.....I was really worried when I had to have mine.....but luckily they agreed to give me a light sedative! The angio was fine....but didn't enjoy the "burning" sensation behind my eye! If I had to have another one, I would definetly ask for a sedative again......I'm such a baby!!

Yep, still feeling tired today....I had quite a good nights sleep as well.....still, sometimes it doesn't seem to make a lot of difference. I sort of know how the day's going to pan out as soon as I open my eyes.

Anyway, one more day until I see the Doc...just hope that I get some joy from him!

Andy P messaged me last night.....he's been having some physio to help relieve the headaches.....so think that he's feeling a bit stiff and achey. If you're reading this Andy, hope that you're having a better day.

Your bath sounded lovely and a really good idea to use the Lavendar oil before sleeping............I love scented candles and I often use the Yankee potpourri wax tarts that you can melt in an oil burner...............some of the smells are delicious........they even do a chocolate one that smells just like the real thing!

Just about to catch up with my ironing mountain........how can kids use so many clothes? My washing basket is always full..........I catch up then, wham.....it's full up and the lid won't even close. I'm not sure how I used to manage working, have a social life and do the housework!

Anyway, must motivate myself! Hope that your day is a good one!

Probably speak to you later.....

Love Karen x

Hi David,

Just a quick note to let you know that Andy P has replied to your comment on the Alison Wertheimer Article under "Read Articles". Just in case you don't happen to look there.

K x

Hi Sami,

That's really good news and pretty quick! I'm still waiting for an appointment to come through for Neuro Rehab for some physio etc............I saw the Neuro Consultant on Aug 7th...but nothing as of yet. I have a feeling that they've completely forgotten about me! Anyway, back to the Doc on Friday and I shall have a word with him.

Are you having an Angio to check your coils?......I had my angio check up at 12 months post SAH and I'm not due for a MRA until the beginning of 2007. I think that they usually carry out the MRA at 18 months post SAH. I expect that every hospital is slightly different, but I got to the Southampton Neuro Centre.

Anyway, hope all is well with you. I'm a little tired today and everything has been a bit of an effort....hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Take care,

Love Karen x

Hi Annie,

So Glad that you are still able to enjoy your holiday...Isn't technology wonderful that you can communcate on your holidays! Talking of new technology have you bought that digital camera yet??? ......would love to have seen some photos of where you've visited...as it sounds fantastic! I'm so envious....

My head is definetly more sensitive to pressure changes now......even travelling by car, up and down the hilly roads of Dorset, I keep having to pop my ears every few seconds or my head feels like a pressure cooker. I hate to think what I would be like on a plane now.....I always suffered with my ears before the SAH, but it's a lot worse since.....any travelling that I do in the future will have to be by boat or train!

Anyway, glad that you are resting up and have found something to take away the pain. Happy holiday and lots of love to you too!

Take good care of yourself,

Love Karen x

Hi Annie,

I've posted a reply to your other message.................it's really good to hear from you!

Love Karen x

Hi Annie,

It's lovely to hear from you......your holiday sounds great! Just hope that you are feeling a little better.

It sounds as though you could be experiencing some Altitude Sickness? I just hope that if you continue to suffer with the bad heads that you will get yourself checked out?

Love Karen x

Here's an extract that I've just copied and pasted from another website, but not sure whether it's going to be of any help:-

Altitude sickness is becoming a common problem as an increasing number of people are travelling further and going on activity holidays.

Lack of oxygen

The body's muscles and organs need an adequate supply of oxygen to function properly. As altitude increases, so the oxygen concentration in the air decreases. Altitude sickness occurs when the air we breathe in doesn't contain enough oxygen, which leaves the body short of its requirements.

It's well known that mountaineers may be affected by altitude sickness, but anyone at high altitudes can experience the symptoms. For example, people who fly to high-altitude destinations and go on walking and trekking trips.

Symptoms

Mild: tiredness, nausea, unsteadiness or headaches.

Severe: fits, cough with frothy sputum, difficulty in walking, confusion or coma.

Recognising the signs

How severely someone is affected by altitude sickness depends on how high they go and how quickly they ascend. It's unusual for altitude sickness to occur below 2,400m (8,000ft). When altitude sickness occurs because the body is not getting enough oxygen, tiredness, headache, nausea and unsteadiness may follow.

For most people these symptoms start after about six hours of being at high altitude. As long as the person remains at the same altitude, the symptoms will usually disappear within one or two days.

Severe cases

Vomiting, chest pains and shortness of breath are signs that someone is affected more severely. These symptoms may take a day or two to appear. Coughing up frothy sputum is a sign that fluid is collecting in the lungs, while clumsiness and difficulty walking can occur if the brain swells.

If severe cases of altitude sickness aren't treated, fits, confusion and a coma may follow.

Overcoming the problem

It's important to be sensible and not to ignore altitude sickness. If symptoms are mild then rest, fluids, a light diet and painkillers will enable the body to acclimatise. No further ascent should be attempted until all the symptoms have disappeared.

Descending to a lower altitude is often necessary when symptoms are more severe. If this fails to resolve symptoms then hospital treatment is needed, where any swelling of the brain will be treated with oxygen, rest and drugs.

Most people who are treated correctly for altitude sickness make a full recovery - usually within a few days. But, when it's the condition is more severe, treatment over a longer period may be necessary.

Avoiding problems

Problems with altitude sickness can usually be avoided if care is taken to prepare properly. Climbers, in particular, are all too aware of the importance of:

good physical fitness

staged ascents that allow time to acclimatise

drinking plenty of liquid

being aware of the possibility and the symptoms of altitude sickness

not ignoring symptoms of altitude sickness if they occur.

Anyone travelling to higher altitudes than they're used to should remember this advice.

This article was last medically reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks in December 2005.

Hi David,

It's really good to hear from you. I'm Karen and you've probably seen a lot of my ramblings on the site already and my story is in the articles section.

I'm amazed at the amount of stories that I've read where the SAH has taken place whilst on holiday....how did you get on being in Italy when it happened?

My own recovery is very slow, thought that I would have been back to normal ages ago....and yes, it is so very frustrating when you just want to get on with your life. Like yourself, loss of confidence is still quite an issue with me....I sometimes wonder where the old Karen is hiding.

Well, I think that you are amazing to have run the Marathon this year.......I can still barely walk a mile without my head spinning.....so you've done wonders in achieving that and raising all that money for charity!

Sorry to hear about your job.....what line of work were you in? I was self employed before the SAH, but haven't been able to return to it.

My days are the same as yours...............one day up, the next day down...it does seem never ending and it is mentally exhausting. It's really hard on the family too, I have stopped making plans now......as when I do make them, I usually have to cancel, so everything is done pretty much last minute now.

Anyway, have to go as my daughter wants the computer! Hope that you will keep posting.......it's lovely to have a chat!

Take care,

Karen

Hi Sami,

No problems about doing the chat tonight. You should only do it, if you feel up to it., honestly it's not a problem.....I couldn't have done it at your stage, so no worries, but if you ever want to talk etc you know where I am. I will private message you later, about the rest of your post, as don't really want to do it on the discussion. I will try to p/message you at the same time as going on to chat..........so apologies in advance for my grammar mistakes! ( I work off of a notebook laptop....and the screen is tiny, so not much cop with my dodgy eyesight!)

Anyway, I shall be going into the Chat Room at 7.30......as feels it's my duty with running this site etc.............I'm probably going to be a right "Billy no mates!" (he he!....... but never mind...........I shall stick on Eastenders at the same time for company!! (Just hope that it's not too depressing or the wine will come out!!)

You take good care of yourself and hope that your evening is a good one.

Your Husband is lovely..........Indian Head massage.........I wish!!

Love K x

Hi Sami,

A little late getting on my computer today.....my daughter has got a temperature, sore throat etc.....just hope that I don't pick it up! Apparently, there's a lot going around at the minute, so trying to stay out of the same room.....don't I sound awful! When I pick up bugs now, they really seem to hit me hard.....it's bad enough putting up with the fatigue anyway, I just don't want anything else! So, just running in and out of the room making sure that she's okay.

How are you today? Are you still okay to do the chat room tonight? If you're not up to it, no worries, as I'm not sure whether Andy P will be joining us, as he's been having some bad heads, so just hope all is well with him.

Anyway, must go and check on Lauren.....hope that you're having a good day.

Love K x

Hi Sami,

Sometimes, I'm not quite sure how I've managed to get this far.....but somehow, you do......I think that having kids helps, even though they can often make you feel stressed out.....not sure what I would have been like without the motivation of carrying on for them. You do get up in the morning, you do put a meal on the table and make sure that they have a packed lunch, money for the bus fare to school, clean clothes etc.....it's probably the drudgery of the day to day stuff that helps to keep you going. It's also knowing that you need to achieve "normality" for them and you don't want them to be upset or see you like a wreck.

I would be lying to say that I haven't struggled with things......that was the main reason for setting up this site, I didn't feel as though I could be the only one to feel like it and also keeping in touch with some lovely people from the website that was pulled.......I think that when you talk, you need to be honest about your feelings.....we've all put on a brave face, probably more times than we should have done, as we don't want to come across as being miserable or seeming as though we are full of self pity.

I have fought hard to stay off anti deps, but think that I'm probably at the stage where I need some help.......it certainly doesn't help with having the physical stuff to deal with, as it's a constant reminder of the SAH. (However, I'm still not keen on taking pills......as had so many side effects from the anti seizure medication........I seem to swing backwards and forwards with these feelings.....should I or shouldn't I etc)

I think that you will probably find that it will take you 3 months to start making real progress........physically and mentally.......sometimes it's hard when people say to you that you're "lucky", well even at this stage of recovery I don't always feel lucky, especially when I'm going through some really bad days.........I'll look forward to the day when I do!!!! That doesn't mean to say that I'm full of self pity, as I'm not at all, but I often feel like saying to them "walk a few miles in my shoes" then come back to me! It's been a real struggle and my life has changed dramatically and I just like to be honest.....but I think that with honesty you can still be positive. I'm still positive enough to think that I can turn things around and I'm willing to try anything if it helps! I am grateful that I've been given a second chance at life...............but no, I don't feel grateful for experiencing this..........nobody could convince me otherwise at the minute!!

I think that most people post SAH seem to experience the feeling of returning with the same body, but the person inside has dissappeared. I suppose with the life/death experience, we are all bound to change and our life style priorities are different than they were before the SAH. Nobody can expect you to be happy and smiley all of the time.......that's one thing that I've learnt.......I wasn't always like that before the SAH.....so why should I feel different now?

Anyway Sami, it's good to vent your true emotions......I think that being honest is good for you and is also a help to other people experiencing the same......I'm certainly not a "Saint" and have never professed to be. I like to think that I'm a "half glass full" person and not "half empty"........still positive, but realistic......I can still laugh......but I'm also allowed to have the odd moan and groan or a good cry if I need to!

Anyway, this is turning into an essay!......you do start to learn to live with the new you.......but yes, you're allowed to feel fed up and frustrated sometimes, nobody should expect you to be "Super Woman/Man".........but, if you really start to struggle with your emotions, then you must go and have a chat with your GP.

Any time you want to chat...........moan or groan...........you know where we are!

Take good care of yourself,

Love Karen x

Hi Sami,

Sorry to hear that you've had a bad weekend..........the "funny turns" are horrible......I still get them and have had a couple when I was out today. I still can't get used to having funny sensations in my head and the feeling of being out of control. It's the main thing that makes me feel really fed up......so you have my sympathy. I shall be tackling the Doc about it on Friday, as I need something to dull this feeling. There's no way that I'm ever going to be comfortable with feeling as though I could pass out!!

Just hope that you will feel better in the next couple of days and that you will feel brighter.

Speak to you soon,

K x

Hi Sami,

Just hope that you've had a better weekend than last week. How did the wedding go? Just hope you're okay......

K x

Hi Annie,

I hope that you are keeping well.............haven't heard from you in a little while, so thought that I would post you. Just hope that all is well? As long as you are okay, that's fine.....but miss you on the board.....and start to become a little worried when you don't pop in!

Love Karen x

Hi Lori,

How are things with you today? Like Andy said, just hope that you are surrounded by family and good friends.

My thoughts are with you and just remember, anytime that you want to talk, we are all here for you.

Love Karen x

Hi Andy/Sami,

The Brain Help site is very good, a lot of info and lots of links. Walter who runs it, seems very nice and very helpful, but yep, it's certainly a good site to visit. The more help anybody can get the better. Waiting to hear from Julie at the Different Strokes website, to see if they will also link with us. Again, it's a great site. Julie is a voluntary worker with Different Strokes and she is also a survivor of SAH.

Anyway, hope all is well,

K x

Hi Lori,

I'm so very sorry to hear about the sad loss of your Husband. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling and how difficult a time it must be for you. I'm a survivor of a SAH and I know how lucky I am to have been given another chance at life, but I also know that many others don't get that chance.

I wish I could answer your question as to why this happened to your Husband. I just hope that anybody else reading your posting, that has also experienced bereavement will be willing to share their own experience with you.

Sorry, that I'm probably not much help to you......but there's always a friendly ear here....that's if you want to talk.

Love Karen x

Hi Andy,

Glad that your Mum is doing okay. Will also look forward to Tuesday......you will have to keep reminding me.......as I can be such a "wooden top"! Hopefully, you will get a nice icon when we chat again......I don't want the sad one either!

Yep, I bet you never had so many helpful volunteers to carry sandbags....I don't know, men honestly.......like kids in a sweet shop!

Hope that you have a good weekend,

K x

Hi Sami,

Yep, just click on the chat room and enter your name, so we know it's you and hopefully all will be okay. Have only used the chat room once with Andy P, so just hope it works okay! (It's all a bit experiemental at the mo!)

Have a great evening and have a good dance..............great for the spirit! Just don't get out of bed too early tomorrow!

Take care,

K x

Hiya,

Tuesday will be good for me too, so if we say about 7.30pm......Andy P- is that okay with you? Perhaps, Andy can remind us both......as one thing that has definetly suffered is my short term memory! Will write it down on the calendar later

Andy Howland - if you're about, then come and join us?

Just started cooking...so very organised tonight, which makes a pleasant change!

Sami - Hope tonight is a good one......don't overdo things though...........and you're doing really well! Have a boogie (God, I sound so old!) for me.............aah! wish I was coming!!!

Speak soon,

K x

Hi Sami/Andy,

Just finished dyeing my hair......it looks a lot better and the grey has been banished for a few weeks at least!.....but it's got a lot thinner since the coiling.....but at least I can take the paper bag off my head now!! I used to use Sun In just to add some more highlights, but haven't used it in a while......but might pick some up, just to lift the fringe.

Andy - So sorry to hear about your Mum's loss. Thought that you might have been taking the day off yesterday. £60 p/h for counselling.....I definetly chose the wrong profession to be in when I was working.......blimey, you would need even more therapy after coming to terms with paying the bill!! But, I suppose if it helps to get you sorted out and if you can afford to pay, then it's worth it.

Doing the chat room at 7pm is fine with me....... I can do Sunday or next Tuesday....as these are quieter nights for me and there won't be anybody hogging the laptop.

Re: depression - will definetly ask the Doc next week, if he can may be prescribe something very low dose........don't really want to take anything with a mountain of side effects......you cure one thing and gain a whole host of other problems........don't think that I have the energy to keep struggling with everything at this stage. Well, we'll see what he says.

I don't really need any counselling, as I've come to terms with what has happened to me and feel okay about it. It's just the anxiety/stress caused by the dizziness/eyesight that affects my balance that's my main problem. I need to feel calmer about not being in total control of my body any more, especially when I'm out in public. The only time I feel calm, is after having a glass of wine............then I don't care quite so much! Anyway, I always try to remain hopeful that there's something that can help me!

Must go........speak to you both soon,

K x