alison

Hahaha Win, you are a diamond lady you make me really smile big time..hugs Thanks everyone, I listen to you all and I relax so much after reading your comments. You all speak with such love and knowledge. Chris phoned me today which was lovely, i could not get in today.(always feels guilty when she cant get there) he wanted a glass of wine, a cig, his razor and a bath..chuckles...he was pretty miserable when i said i could not get there today..in his mind i am only downstairs in the living room. But i will see him tomorrow and take him up his fav banana milkshake chuckles...i been taking him a bottle a day and he loves it! so even tho he may be aggitated today, I know when i see him tomoz he will have something nice to guzzle hugs and love and kisses to you all.

With all your support, kindness, down to earth attitudes and wonderful senses of humour I am staying focused and positive...big hugs to you all x i feel very humbled by all your wonderful thoughtful replies and the stories behind you all and I know you have ll been through so much yourselves. I know this is very very early days for Chris and I must learn not to have emotional breakdowns every time something happens that i think is negative. I am going to focus as much as possible on all the positive things that Chris has achieved. Chris has been moved now to a better ward, not a stroke ward yet ( waiting for a bed) and in the last 2 days has been much more relaxed. he has 2 beds pushed together on the floor and he is clean and was reading a mag when I got there and i kinda had a big sigh of relief that he was very calm, chatty and fairly humorous. I have a friend who is a social worker, he is a lovely chap, he went to see chris yesterday, wore his badge to get a few answers ( as chris is not a client just a personal friend) and asked the sister to show him chris's care plan etc..and is going to help keep an eye on chris's care now and be an extra voice for me ...big smiles. i feel so very honoured that I have you guys here, i would be in bits if i had not had the support of you here so i cant express how greatful i am enough!

Hi Guys, hope everyone is well, i have not been here for a few days, its been full on to be honest and i not had the time. well Chris was moved this Monday to the East Surrey hospital in Redhill Surrey, which is great that Chris is moving on now. I am now in complete understanding of the roller-coaster i have boarded. I went to see Chris in his new ward at Redhill on Wednesday. He was fairly calmish...still very fixated with having a cig and some wine but generally not too bad. He was transferred to an Acute Medicine Ward which i thought was strange and not on a stroke ward. when I arrived to see him yesterday, he was lying on a mattress on the floor, i gathered he had tried to climb out the bed and he had and they decided that was the safest option. he was also laying with no protection for him to go to toilet, his hands were covered in faeces and on his pillow and sheets. A nurse came in a said he is refusing to let anyone clean him and he is being abusive 24/7. I told the nurse I hope he was was not reading into Chris's behaviour. He said well people just dont like to hear it ( Chris is pretty full on and quite vile in what he says and at times he tries to punch people including me when he gets frustrated). I thought his remark was strange and made me feel that he did not really have an understanding of brain injury. They 2 male nurses dealing with Chris felt intimidated and by him and were not talking to him, just pulling him around. I had to say i think you should tell chris what and why you are doing this and that so he knows, he has had a brain trauma he is not being deliberately uncopperative! Apparently he is going to be move to a rehab area , the sooner the better I hope cos i felt very helpless yesterday with Chris, he was shouting and very aggressive non stop. He would not let me clean him and any help i was giving was not making chris calm but making him worse. Now, I look at how far he has come and he has come a long way, he has regained all use of his arms, he is eating and drinking fine, he has stood and taken a few steps. I am now begining to learn and find out about what therapy I can give him too. I left hospital absolutely drained and exhausted and in nearly in tears from the frustration and tiredness worrying like crazy how on earth can i help chris and care for him if he does not improve...selfish i know...so that was a down day..i just look forward to the up days. its been a month tomorrow since his SAH. I am going to try find a support group today in my area as i really need something local and to find anyone that has delt with anyone so angry, abusive and violent in their early recovery. I am also worried about our sons visiting him, it may just be too much for them to handle. Sorry for my ramble, its early i not long got up and i just feel very low. I was going to see Chris today but I am just too tired to deal with him like that today and i am feeling terribly guilty and upset that i cant face him today and i am worrying he is not getting the right treatment....it all feels a bit bleak...but i am probably just dwelling on negative things cos i am tired. Thankyou for reading my ramble...hugs

Ty SL hugs. I do try to stay as positive as possible and with all the help, advice and support I have got from so many kind ppl here I am still smiling xxxx I feel so much better reading everyones replies today. This wonderful site is a true gem, don't know where I would be without the thought of being able to come here and be with ppl who truly understand xx

Gill x big hugs ty x love your story ty, so very kind of you for sharing so much. I do feel so much better knowing that it is just a part of it all and there is light at the end of the tunnel that chris will calm down I have been keeping a diary, goodness knows how I got so organised to do it but I have been jotting the funny things he says down, in the hope we can look back and laugh one day. Chris is a very humorous person and apart from his inappropriate sayings he is comical. He looked a bit flushed and I asked him ' are you hot chris?' He replied ' well, I am quite sexy!' I was laughing a lot x

Ok, lol, after reading some updates on my introduce thread I realise that this really is quite normal and I should just concentrate on chris getting better and stop focusing on his chat right now. I am staying positive. Ty everyone here you are all so adorable and lovely and I value all your support so very much xxxx

Wow LOL ty guys so much I feel better already hugs x I have just posted a topic on behaviour after SAH without reading this. I feel silly now and I am probably expecting way too much from chris way too soon. As open minded as I am I find his outbusrts distressing at times and I think cos I am the only one visiting him and dealing with him from a family point of view I have overthought everything and became quite anxious, so once again guys ty for your amazing love and support you help me everytime xx love you all loads xxxxxx Ali

Hello lovelies, hope everyone is fine Ok, where to start..some of you have been following my Introduce Yourself topic, my partner Chris had SAH 4th Feb 2012 clipped on the 6th. Chris is now in a HDU ward which is fantastic because last week he was so ill and his life was touch and go. He has made great steps. He has a frontal lobe SAH on his right side, his left arm and leg now have a fair bit of movement, he can do sums, knows mine and our boys names and generally can recall a lot! So that is fab. Now I don't really feel I have the right to be upset as he could have died but his behaviour is disturbing me. Now I know the frontal lobes are connected to emotion, decisions, etc but he is talking very sexually all the time, swearing and cursing, and making some really nasty comments to other visitors, patients, drs and nurses. He has even been nasty ans spitful towards a small child, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Am I being selfish? I know he can't help this, I understand fully that his brain has been through so much but I do find some of his outbursts distressing. I ignore it and chat with him about all sorts but I was wondering if this will ever get better. I so don't want Chris to be left like this. I worry now when I visit him, even tho I would never not go and see him I feel very anxious that he gonna be way way over the top. Now, its only been just over 2 weeks, I know I can't expect him to be all back to normal but has anyone ever had this or had to cope with this extreme lack of inhibition? I must sound silly and should be thankful that he us alive but I can't help feeling so worried he will stay like this.

Thank you Sarah and Michelle I am popping up to see him later this afternoon and yes, he has made big steps in his early recovery considering where he was a week ago. I actually can't believe how fast the time has gone already. Its like the days can be long but the weeks zoom by . Much love to everyone xx

Thank you everyone for your continued support, so kind of all of you to take the time to respond Well, today has been amazing, I arrived at the hospital this afternoon to find Chris had been taken off all tubes except his feed line. He was talking, sitting up, sort of, his eyes wide open. He had been complaining that he was bored and was asking for me!! I was like wow! Now all that is positive and lovely and so pleased he is so aware, the only thing is he was very frustrated, I expected this tho but felt helpless, he wanted to go home right then and was getting cross that no one would get him up! He was also swearing and saying he was going to get the police if ppl were not helping, also he was being very sexually inapproriate to me and the nurses. The nurses were great and said its common, his brain had been through a lot and he was bound to be confused etc.. I was a lil embarassed but I know he was unaware as he would never normally behave like that but it did take me by surprise lol! To be honest it made me giggle a lil bit. Besides that he was also quite normal oin some of rhe thhings he was saying. He knew he was in hospital, he remembered all our cats names and we have a lot lol he put his arm round me and gave me kisses, then a nurse got him a radio and he quite liked that for a lil while. So it was quite eventful, after all the negative news last week and here he was chatting away , even if he was a bit rude and kinda grumpy it was fantastic!! by 7pm he was nodding off so I let him relax and went home for the night. Ready to see what tomorrow will bring! They will be moving him from ICU into a ward next few days x

Awww Steph thank you so much for your reply and for keeping Chris in your prayers I will check out see if there is a Headway in Crawley thank you! Chris had really perked up today when I visited. He opened both eyes as soon as I held his arm (hand wrapped up lol) and said his name. I was so pleased he was moving his right arm and leg great and he was even mildly moving his left leg and his left hand a lil which is so great! I feel so very positive for him now. They are removing the respirator for definate tomorrow which should be a whole lot more comfy for him. Such another wonderful positive day and yes the staff at St.Georges are amazing. I am glad he is in such a great hospital much love to you all Alison x

Yes SL!!! Skippy dances all the way... ty so much hun x x

Awwww Sarah xxx hugs. I know the road is still long, I am a realist but I think because last week things seemed so bleak, chris being coherent in that way made the light at the end of the tunnel seem that much brighter I think I may actually get some proper sleep tonight the bags under my eyes lately have been enough to get a weeks shopping in I reckon ( chuckles ) xxxx

Arrived at hospital today to find Chris moving his right arm and leg! He is off the sedation now too. He had his right hand wrapped up cos he keeps going for his nose tube. The nurse unwrapped his has so I could hold it, I asked him to squeeze my hand and he did so tight. He was responding by squeezes when I asked him if he knew it was me. I told him I loved him and said squeeze my hand if you love me and he gave my hand the biggest tight squeeze!! I was so so so elated ! The right side of his face is very swollen and his right eye is closed because of this but his right eye was ever so slightly open, I gently opened it a lil more and smiled at him, I felt him look at me for a tiny bit!!. I am so pleased that he knows what I am saying. Such a wonderful positive day. Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts. Much love Alison

You have all been such a comfort to me with your kind words of advice, help and encouragement thank you so much x I foned the hospital today as I could not get up there and Chris has been stable and fine all day which has been wonderful. I am going up tomorrow, can't wait as I miss him terribly. Big hugs to everyone x chat soon x love Alison x

Not sure what bug hugs are! (Chuckles) but I have given you all a one

Lovely to meet you Lynne, thank you so much for the links. I will check them out x I have received a whole bunch of booklets and forms for Chris that I must fill out today to get them back in the post. Chris had been claiming JSA for a year as we had both lost our jobs due to recession. Chris was a builder working on housing developments and I was a teaching and learning support assistant. With all the help I have gained here I am sure I will be able to sort something out bug hugs to you all. So thankful to this site it really has been so valuable in preventing me from going roind the twist in these very early stages xxxxxx

Good day to you both Sami and Penny x thank you for your continued support so appreciated x big hugs x I will check that link out Penny, thank you x keep warm everyone x

Chris is still stable thank goodness. I can't get to London today which is frustrating but I can call the ward anytime to get an update. Does anyone know if there is any help with fares to see loved ones that are in hospital? I will be going up tomorrow morning. Even tho Chris has not opened his eyes since the event I love to hold his hand and waffle non stop to him. They said when they opened his head his brain was a mess what ever that means, don't sound great but however Chris comes out of this I am there for him in everyway x have a beautiful Sunday every one x much love x Alison

Your posts have been of great comfort to me, thank you so much for taking the time to write them x hugs. Chris has his crainiotomy (sp) at 4am this morning. It went as planned and even tho he still sedated he has squeezed the nurses hand when asked which is such a glimmer of hope for me. I know we have a long old journey yet but the fact that he is still alive and moving his left harm lifts my soul so much x I know the next few days are crucial and as every hour passes that he is stable gives me more hope. I love reading everyones own stories, ty for sharing, they are inspirational and make me smile so wide that some of you have been where Chris is and are now out the other side making your own progresses x wonderful x much love to you all and thank you once again. This is a wonderful site and I have mentioned it to a couple of families I met going through SAH at the hospital

Thank you Jilly and Carolyn for you kind posts. Sadly Chris has deteriorated this afternoon, his brain is very swollen and they have advised me its not very positive at all. He is going to have an op tonight to remove some skull to let the pressure off the brain and remove dead brain. All sounds very grim and I am pretty frightened to be honest. I will of course stay as positive as I can. I don't know how survivable this is and if he does survive the night what sort of condition he will be left in. Probably severely disabled I am told, so I am feeling bleak and lost in my heart.

Thank you Sarah and Bill for your encouraging replies. I have been reading some of the personal stories here and wow! Amazing and so heartfelt, so many different experiences. Its been a great eye opener. I knew just about nothing of these type of events until just a couple of days ago and I have felt great comfort in reading them. Its such a big relief to find this site to be amongst ppl that understand and have been right there. I hope I will make some good friends and be able to share my rollercoaster with others here and maybe get to the point where I too can support ppl going through a similar experience. I am going to london to see Chris tomorrow, I have been going up as much as possible. I hope he will soon be in a hospital closer when his recovery gets under way. And It will be marvelous if he too can visit here himself oneday and get any extra support advice and just to be able to share things. Here is hoping he comes off the respirator asap. The longest journey always starts with a single step and I am there with him at every one he takes how ever many that will be. Love to you all xx Alison

Thank you so much Kempse. Chris was admitted to St Georges hospital in Tooting London in the Atkinson Morely Wing early sunday morning. He had his vessel clipped on monday, he is all tubed up, sedated, respirator, the works. He has not opened his eyes yet but has squeezed my hand 3 times when I asked him to on wednesday. The right side of his brain is where is anni was and on wednesday they told me he had had a stroke after looking at new scans and the fact he now hasa no movement in his left arm and leg. He has a chest infection that is being treated and they want to get him off the respirator asap. I know its going to be a bumpy ride and I know he is not out of the woods yet but I am trying to stay as positive as I can, I have 3 sons, 13, 15 and 23. My youngest 2. Who live at home with Chris and I are being so brave and I am being strong for them too.

Hi, I am Alison from Crawley in Sussex. My partner suffered a SAH on Saturday 4th Feb 2012. I am still a lil in shock as it only happened few days ago but so thankful that I found this site for support and help.