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my mum


lilyloo
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Hi i am new to here but just want to say how amazing it is already helped in just reading others in similar situations. My beautiful mummy had a aneurysmal bleed and SAH last year.

We took her to hospital after suffereing the worst headache of her life sand was sent home - naturally it didn't get better so we went back 2 days later and got a scan. Typical my mum has a SAH they think is a migraine! From that moment on she went downhill and it was touch and go for a while - needed clipping and she suffered vasospasm post op. It was a very odd time going to see my mum unconcious and even when awake not there - watching tubes and drugs and looking at a huge scar forming on her head.

Luckily she has no real physical deficit, she has some mild memory impairment but she is here and home and our mum again. Its strange reading other posts, i know what they mean - she is her but different and i couldn't honestly pin point how. Her attitude to things, her manner, her mumminess is just different somehow.

I do find it difficult sometimes having to adjust, having to grieve slightly for the person she once was and for that i do feel selfish but i'm sure if i feel it others maybe do too. But then i remember what she has been through and how crazy it must feel to her and something i will never be able to truly understand and help with (that is frustrating).

I am soooo glad she is with us still and those agonising days where things don't seem right are worth it. You only get one mum and we still have ours so i am grateful. I love her so much i just hope she feels our support and love as much as we mean to give it.

Is there any comments from carers - how can i best help, she is so independant do i force my help on her even when she is relucatnt to accept or do i leave her to tell me what she needs - on this bit i feel lost it was so clearly defined before?

Thanks

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Hi and welcome! :-D

I had a SAH, but I know that it took a long time for my family to come to terms with what happened to me and to adjust to the "different" me. We're all probably still adjusting now with what I can or can't do. I'm fiercely independent, so will try to do everything that I can, but am always grateful when I hit a bad spot of fatigue to have some extra help or just the offer of somebody cooking dinner or running the hoover around the house.

I would say that if your Mum is capable, then let her manage by herself, rather than do too much for her, as it will help keep her focused and independent. However, if you spot that she's struggling, then ask her if she needs any help .... Post SAH is a huge period of adjustment for all concerned and coming to terms with what's happened, but it does get easier with the passage of time.

Sounds as though your Mum has a great daughter! :-D xx

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