Sasbo

Hello all It's Saturday night and we're watching Johnny English with Rowan Atkinson. I would NEVER have found this particularly funny before, probably at best mildly amusing, but I am laughing out loud and really finding it hilarious. Does anyone else find their sense of humour has changed? Sarah xx ps - Panto season looming..........oh yes it is......my ex-husband used to do a lot of pantos and I loathed them - but will this year be any different?????

Hi there I totally sympathise with you. I too collapsed on the bed; the stretcher made marks on the sheet which we just can't get off so every time I see that sheet I have a flutter of panic. Don't know why we don't just throw it away but I'm worried about mentioning it to anyone because I feel so pathetic about it. The paramedics also left a neck brace behind and that freaks me out each time I see it. Can't even touch it. Can't find out where to return it to and can't bring myself to bin it. So I can feel exactly where you're coming from and can only say that it should get easier as time goes by and it's yet another hurdle that we all have to contend with. Being on here helps because you realise that you're not the only one having these fears and thoughts that other people might think irrational. You're still early days, aren't you? Every day is another milestone and one day soon you'll wake up and realise just how far you've come. Chin up Sarah x

Hi Jayne Welcome to the lifeline for SAH and the like! You're doing well getting online so soon after yours, but do take it easy and listen to your body - that seems to be something we all take times to come to terms with and think we know better than our brain/body is telling us, but we don't!!!! Still gets me by surprise some 10 months on! Anyway, looking forward to chatting with you again when you're up to it. Take care Sarah

Hi Debbie All I can do is echo what you and everyone else is going through. I had my bleed last September, clipped, and have a second aneurysm which will be clipped this September. Definitely changed me and a lot of things for the better - I now take time to stop and smell the coffee, appreciate everything and everyone around me and thank God that I'm still here and relatively OK. Things could've been a lot worse!! Also, animals are a great therapy - we have 5 cats and have just got 2 adorable pups and they all let me waffle on at them with my verbal inanities and don't answer me back!!! Well recommended........and they don't mind when I get my words mixed up!!! They appreciate the double feeding too (well, I can never remember whether I've fed them or not, and they don't help me out....) Like you I sleep each day, can only manage one major task without worrying and getting stress headaches, and keep copious lists - can't manage without my list book! But life is good - we're here and we've all found each other to be able to sound off at which is the best therapy there is. Good to meet you and welcome to our happy band. Sarah

Hi Tracey Welcome! Echoing what the others have all said, it will be great to learn from your experiences. Sarah

Hi Julie Welcome, nice to meet you - it's great here! Sarah

Hi All I too get weird, spaced out sensations, as though I'm on a different planet from everyone else and sometimes feel, like Aine, that I'm having a mini-bleed. No two days are the same; sometimes I almost forget I've had SAH but then it comes back to bite me on the bum with different symptoms! I'm just over 9 months on from mine and am just beginning to face up to the fact that I'm very, very different from how I was before and won't get back to pre-SAH. C'est la SAH-vie.... Sarah x

It looks great! Well done and thank you for all the work you do on our behalf. It really is appreciated Sarah xx

Hi Karen Very happy to participate and will answer all the questions when I get home, early next week. Sarah x

Hi there I sleep a lot more post SAH and still, 9 months on, need a sleep most days. This can be anything from half an hour to 3 hours if I'm allowed! I can go at max 2 days without pm sleep but then seriously need to play catch up else I could be had up on a murder charge! And it's still that uncontrollable urge to sleep that you can't ignore. At night I am going to bed much earlier, generally, usually around 10pm and get up at about 8am but I will have woken at least once, usually 2 or 3 times, in the night which I never used to do. I also have a lot more vivid dreams than I did before. Definitely loads of changes in lifestyle post SAH! Sarah

It turns out I had a 'pre-bleed' on a Thursday followed by another or main bleed on the following Monday. Both onsets were very similar - a kind of explosion behind/in my right eye quickly followed by a very severe headache and an extremely stiff neck as if I'd massively trapped a nerve (which is what I thought I'd done - how wrong can you be!!). From Thursday to Sunday I stayed in bed, flat on my back and if I didn't move my neck (which remained very very sore) my head didn't hurt, but if I did move it I had a massive headache. Same thing happened on the Monday but after about 10 minutes I think I lost consciousness as I don't remember any more. Anyway, still get a stiff/sore neck quite often, as well as some lower back pain, and believe it's blood dissipating in spinal column. Sarah

Hi Everyone Thank you so much for all your kind words. Sorry to have been a while getting on here - been to hospital!! It's a medical week this week. My dad's been having long term problems with his throat/voice so has been for a tube up his nose, like you do! Anyway, all is ok. Apparently it's caused by acid indigestion so treatment is now sorted for that and we're back home. We've just booked flights for Dubai, 11 days in the middle of June, just the two of us so that's something to look forward to. I'm glad I've made the decision I have, but couldn't have done it any other way, so I have relief mingled with dreaded anticipation and deja vu. Well, less of the deja vu as I can't remember anything about the last one! Party round my bed in about 4 months time? North Staffs - all invited! Lots of love and thanks to you all again Sarah xx

Hi All Been to the neurosurgeon today, appointment number 2 since SAH. Scan results showed a little fluid which would account for the way I'm currently feeling, i.e. not a quick enough recovery, seem to have reached a plateau, memory not improving etc. He said it should dissipate in time and there's not much more than he would expect seven months on so no shunt required. Also having second aneurysm clipped and am now on the waiting list - should be in about 4 months time. Given my age there's a 1 in 4 chance of it bursting - those odds aren't long enough for me so have opted for the op. I can, of course, change my mind......Get it all out of the way in the short term rather than drag it out even further! Plus, don't think I'd be as lucky a second time if number 2 were to burst. Big decision, big dilemma but I know I can't live every day wondering. Sarah x

Hi All It's 7 months since I had my SAH and was discharged with no aftercare arrangements, contact numbers or anything. I'm sure that's true of a lot of us. My GP has been absolutely brilliant but is, naturally, limited in what he can do. However, now I'm getting used to the physical drawbacks and they're improving (slowly), the emotional drawbacks are coming to the fore and are causing me problems so I saw a psychiatrist last night. Had to go privately and have had to fight various systems to get there but I'm desperately hoping it will be useful. The last year or two has given me more than my share of trauma/upset - my children and I were caught up in the london bombings, with Tom (my son) missing for 4 hours, my mother died very suddenly last June, spent the whole summer travelling up north each weekend to be with my dad, moved in with my dad in September, started renovating a barn and had a SAH, again all in September so Dr Findlay (yes really!) had a field day!! Anyway I think it's going to be helpful as he is also going to refer me (NHS referral I think) to an OT/Physio lady as he thinks this too will be beneficial so there's beginning to be a bit more light at the end of this very long tunnel. Both the GP and the psychiatrist have been appalled/upset/embarassed about the lack of care for people 'ejected' from hospital after such serious illnesses but there's nothing they can do except keep banging away. Has anyone else had psychy/OT/physio and does it all help? Sarah

The frustration and the thinking you're ok and then suddenly realising you're not is the very worst thing. Also, when I get tired I get very clumsy and impatient with people and things - nothing and noone is safe when I get going!! It's because they can't see what we're having to deal with. We really really need to come up with some sort of sign, similar to what you said about the tattoo. A ruddy great arrow on a hairnet maybe?? Can't make us look any more stupid than I feel at the moment!! Sarah x

It's all pants! It's official - SAHs are PANTS. It finally dawned on me this morning, all I want is to be me again. That's all, not a lot to ask. The pants thing is not knowing if that'll ever happen. If there was a light at the end of this tunnel then I'd be a bit more patient (I think, but then again, maybe not!). But enough of the moaning. Good luck for the 1st May, fingers crossed and all that. I still miss smoking but it does get easier. I think I'll always miss it, still get the odd pang now but I do feel better in general (though I hate to say it and prove all those anti-smokers right!). Now I have to ask and forgive me if it's impertinent but - how do you keep your mohican mohicanned? Surely you need hairspray for that and if so doesn't that make you feel sick? Pretty much agree with you on the Chanel #5 though. Cheers Sarah x

Yo Sami Yep, back from the High Seas adventures - can't remember if I mentioned it or not. However, we are going away again end June/beginning of July. Fiona's not told me the dates yet, she says I don't need to know and I'll only get confused. She's right! We're going to Dubai, cat sitting of all things. A friend's parents live out there but come back to the UK for their holidays. Anyway, they need someone to live in with their cats whilst they're here. We've been doing it for a couple of years now but sadly one of their cats has died so we're thinking of surreptitiously finding them a young kitten to replace him. It sounds globe-trotty and I suppose it is, but it only costs us the flights out there, car hire (dirt cheap) and food which is about a third cheaper than here. Not sure about the flights with my head but I can always stick it in a bag if it's getting too much! Sarah x

Hi there Firefly Good to meet you. Welcome to the site, hope you're as happy here as we all are! It's great to be able to talk to fellow survivors.... Sarah

Hi there DirtyPunk Sorry not to have been here to meet you - been away on holiday! Welcome to the site. Everyone I've met here has been absolutely fantastic - I had my SAH last September, so now at 7 month stage. It's pants! Still not back at work, still got, it seems, a long way to go and, like Big Al, I have a second aneurysm which is going to be sorted out when I've improved some more from number one. Mine was probably exacerbated by smoking so haven't had a cig since the day it happened. The great thing about the site is that nobody judges anyone else, we can all be just us and are accepted for being ourselves. Hey, we'll have no problem recognising you at any meets will we??!! Where are you based? There are a few of us Northern/Midland subbas meeting up for the first time soon. All welcome - venue still to be confirmed. Sarah

Hi Molly Welcome to the lifeline! We're a happy band, most of the time, and it really helps to chat on here if you're feeling a bit down/under the weather. Good to meet you Sarah

I have developed an overwhelming love of Rowntrees Fruit Pastilles* - and only Rowntrees. Haven't gone off chocolate although Fiona has now banned me from virtually everything with caffeine in it until annie 2 is sorted, including chocolate, so haven't had any for weeks AND I MISS IT!! Biker - whereabouts in Anglesey are you? My brother lives in Felin-y-heli and we visit Penrhyn Point loads, between Benllech and Moelfre, as my sister has a cottage there. Sarah x * Asda have a special offer at the mo - two bags for £1.00!!!!!!!

Hi Bob I've been experiencing all sorts of sleep patterns post-SAH, including the vivid dreams that Karen described. I really think it's a jumpy head - which I can only describe as 'jangly brain' - random thoughts leap about and there's no way of stopping them, then at other times I just seem to sleep endlessly. It doesn't make sense. I'm now at the 6 month post-SAH stage and there's still no settling down into a set pattern I'm afraid, but you do learn to roll with it. Good luck to you all and hope to see you here soon - everyone's really supportive and, perhaps more importantly, has been through it. Sarah xx

Hi Jane Welcome from a fellow North Westerner! Whereabouts in M/C are you? I'm about 40 minutes outside but my daughter lives in W Didsbury so come over often. Ditto to what Sami said, this site has been invaluable for support, info and feedback, particularly as it seems we're on our own when discharged from hospital. I've had to find everything out from t'internet. Anyway, good to meet you and hope to see you soon! Sarah xx

Ditto, Sami, and I've been in all morning. Memory's getting worse, not better, I think, but I can't really remember..... Sarah

Hi Karen Thanks for this. Will try and watch it. Sarah x