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My younger brother 58 experienced an SAH 2 months ago. I’m sure you all know how it goes. First you are in shock, then you just try to get through the medical stuff.


Here we are 2 months later. I feel like as a sister I know my brother really well, or knew.  People tell me it is not my obligation to help him. I disagree.  I’m the one who knows what makes him smile.  The things that make him smile are all from 1970 - 1981 (estimate).


I have figured out how he responds to open ended questions, I know what makes him sad ( our mother dying and then him remembering and then forgetting again) and I am keenly aware of changes in his demeanor and or appearance.


He is at a nursing home with “invalids”as he says.  He has no real mental stimulation.  His ability to solve puzzles etc is still there, but his executive function and short term memory is weak .


Instead of this just being a vent, I would like to find resources.  I am willing to help him in any way I can. I need to be careful that I don’t become drained.  I logically know that I have to care for myself but it is difficult to separate from the strong urge to fix things.

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Hi Annes a very warm welcome to BTG :) 


So sorry to hear about your brother. At 2 months he is still in the very early stages of recovery.

He has had a major trauma to his brain that is trying to repair and also function as normal. 

All that you mention i can relate to.


As his sister you know him well and just being there for him will give him great comfort.

We are based in the UK, not sure where you are ?  You will find loads of helpful information here on our forum and also posts from others sharing their experiences and how they got through.


Here are some useful links  :



Wishing your brother well in his recovery. Maybe when he is ready and able, help him join BTG too. We are a friendly bunch :) 


Remember to take good care of you at this very stressful worrying time, bless you xx


Here is a link to ' A Letter From Your Brain'  click on the title, it's really good at explaining how your brothers brain is feeling,  :) 



We look forward to hearing more from you and how your brother is doing.


Take care

Tina xx

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, I hope things have inproved some since your post sorry seem to have missed it origionally.. 


My memory was shocking in the beginning and I know I was hard going with people but things inproved with hard work - tears - and tantrums 



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