Carl Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I didnt want to hijack the thread but I thought it would be interesting to list some of the comments and retorts. or at least retorts we thought of later thanks DawnS for the idea My pet peeve is when people tell me they think I have selective memory. I think I need a reply for that. " I don't select my memories but I do select my friends" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 'You need to put it behind you & move on' like it doesn't affect every part of my life & how I have to plan my day now!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 You are right Gill I do need to put things behind me, I am not trying to be negative, I am still trying to find my place at work. It is just these comments that make it a little more difficult to fit in. Perhaps venting here with people who understand is one way of letting go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Carl I agree you need to find your new place but I don't think putting it behind you is the answer. we had a discussion like this a while back & a very wise lady (Lin Lin) wrote this which I have copied & shared on my FB with her permission. See what you think? I can relate to this thread, but I have undoubtedly improved lots since the early days. More importantly, I am relaxed about it and accept the slight differences in me as part and parcel of who I am now. I may improve further, but I am ok if I do not. I am presently engaged in two voluntary work placements. I work at the Citizens Advice Bureau offering free legal help at a drop in centre. I find this job manageable because it is familiar (and easier) to the job I used to do. However, I sense that some of the managers treat me as a (healthy) qualified lawyer and they can inadvertently explain things as a pitch which is slightly out of reach. (And my goodness they speak quickly!!) I used to feel ashamed of this and just smile and nod my head. I feel more confident to say now that they need to explain things differently. I also work at an office which helps disabled people get back into employment. They have taken me on knowing I have a brain injury and understand brain injuries. They are teaching me reception work. It should be easy for me, but the tasks are new and I do not find it straightforward. I am not embarrassed about this. I am given short and succinct instructions and given time to master them before moving on to something else. They insist I have regular breaks saying my brain needs ‘time off.’ I work alongside many disabled people. Some of my work colleagues are wheelchair users, others are deaf, some are blind, not to mention countless people with hidden disabilities. They have taught me about equality of outcome and how this involves treating people differently sometimes. This is not about treating people better nor is it positive discrimination. It simply acknowledges that if everyone is treated exactly the same, some people get left behind. My brain works a bit differently to before. I can’t retain information as quickly, crowds tire me, my memory is poorer and the pace of my life needs to be slower. But all this is ok. I’m not stupid and my intellectual capacity is the same. Things are just a bit different. I feel empowered when I tell people I have a brain injury. I look upon it as a measure of what I can achieve despite the SAH. There’s no point in me pretending that everything’s going to be exactly the same as before and ‘putting it behind me’ as JayKay’s friend suggested!! (Aren’t people just full of helpful advice!!!) If people treat me as I was before the SAH and if I try to emulate all aspects of my life before the SAH, I am not going to cope and I will feel depressed. ‘Putting it behind me,’ will not help. Harnessing the experience of the SAH in a positive way will help me improve. Facing up to things is healthy. Sweeping things under the carpet is not, and problems do not go away in doing that. I am not going to put the SAH behind me. It is going to be the very thing which drives me forward to achieving a better life than what I had before the SAH. A previous work colleague told me at her retirement party that you ‘can always play a new tune on an old fiddle!’ I intend to follow the advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 Gill I thought your post was your reply to me LMAO Now THAT made my day XD I choose my friends and you made the top of the list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 LOL Carl I wouldn't dare!! It has been said to me on several occasions & I really don't think you can seperate your sah from who you are now. I wish I was as articulate as Lynne as she has said perfectly what many of us feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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