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JenniH23

It’s Christmas and I’m in hospital

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Hi everyone, I’ve previously posted about blind spots in my vision and change in perception. I’m really struggling right now! 

 

Last week my vision went blurry so on Monday I called the doctor. He advised me to go to a&e in case it indicated a change in the coiled aneurysm. After a night on a stretcher I was admitted and I had an angiogram which thankfully came back ok. 

 

I then had full opthalmic assessment and was told eyes are healthy. I’ve also had a bit of spotting of blood at the top of my nose which the consultant says it is unrelated. But it’s going to get investigated. 

 

So here I am day 3 in hospital hoping next stop is neurology. My vision has gone really blurry and it’s worrying me greatly. 

 

I dont recognise myself anymore. I’ve lost so much weight. My vision wearing my glasses is probably what it was before I used to put them on. This is so scary!! I worry it will get worse.

 

I worry i have strained my eyes trying to adjust to the blind spots. 

 

Im lying in my hospital bed thinking how did I get here? Why am I still here? What use can I be to my family?

 

The doctors are hoping to get some counselling for me. I am so low right now. I feel like I’m just existing and eating just to stay alive! 

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My dear, I understand. I was in the hospital during my birthday with the initial SAH and then the following year with severe vertigo and vomiting. I was so worried and frustrated. Everything checked out okay. After a similar episode, they sent me to an ENT. They diagnosed it “vestibular migraines”. But, like you ~ I have been a bit low lately. Unfortunately, this can be an outcome of the SAH. It is good that you are getting counseling.  And, it helps to vent and hear from others.

 

I might guess you are an over-achiever like myself. You don’t feel validated or given affirmation without “doing” ~ and, now it is your place to be cared for and fatigue keeps you from accomplishing all that you used to do. Please know that you do matter to your family and you are valued ~ look how far you have come.

 

This community is here any time to listen ~ some days you’ll need to check in frequently and some days just knowing there are others walking the path you are on is helpful. It takes time to adjust and find your new pace.

 

My vision also has been on and off (double at time of SAH event ~ I also had hydrocephalus ~ but now resolved) but I notice if I have too much media / computer time or strain it does get quite blurry. Then, I just have to rest them and I use lubricating eye-drops.

 

Win has taught me to sing a bit when feeling very low. I am not a good singer and so that helps even more!

 

I send my love and prayers. Kathy ~ Colorado, USA

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