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How should a relative respond?

Guest Hannah

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Hi all,

Firstly thanks for all the comments over the past few days they have really been helpful. I thought I would move discussion over to this thread as it was getting into "what doctors have told us". Plus I'm in a writing mood and I have a couple of questions.

Today has been a mixed day, physio still going strong but my mum is absolutely convinced that she in in Germany. I find the strange turns in conversation quite difficult to handle as I feel I have to try and reason with her to try and re-establish some brain pathway to the truth.... if that makes sense. When in fact maybe I should just not comment at all on the strange comments as it only winds her up. I think I struggle with this as it seems as if I do this then I am humouring her which she might find patronising....

Similar to the time when the OT's said to buy some simple jigsaws for her but the only place I could find them was the early learning centre. I couldn't bring myself to buy a 10 piece jigsaw of "Bob the Builder" for age 3 upwards...

Perhaps I'm just over thinking things?


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Hi Hannah,

Just a quick question....why would your Mum think that she's in Germany?...did she used to live there?

I sort of know what you mean about the puzzle......but if that's all that you can get hold of and it helps her, then just go for it and try not to worry too much.

How about taking in some photo albums of the family and trying to engage her in conversation that way, at least there's a visual reminder for your Mum. Some of us SAH'ers lose track quite easily.

Your Mum probably only gets wound up because of the fatigue.......I'm 17 months down the line and when the tiredness hits me hard I get quite grumpy.......I don't expect that she means to, but it can all be pretty frustrating. Just don't take it to heart ..... you're obviously a very good daughter to her.

Have you looked up the "Mozart Effect" on the site?........I bought the CD when I first came out of hospital and it's brilliant for relaxing the mind and I've found it very therapeutic.........even though I've never really listened to much classical music.

Catch you later,

Love K x

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Hi Hannah

Word search is a good thing for kids though yeh!! I know but it helped me...really you have to sort of step back a bit maybe!

I was convinced that there was nothing wrong then the OT gave me one of those balls with the shapes out, (for a small child) I had to put the shapes into the spaces, Oh! please I thought don’t insult my intelligence, but I couldn’t do it I couldn’t fit the shapes into the holes that was a reality shock for me I can tell you.

I can’t say she will find your humouring/patronising her you just have to I guess ‘go with the flow’ I’m going to ask my husband how he dealt with it see if I can answer your questions from the same angle maybe!!

I know that my Dad had a very hard time getting his head around it he found it all very difficult. Kind of the other way around to you.

The photo albums are a good idea however why not get a big frame & make a co-large with different pictures try to make sure your Mum’s in a lot of them dosnt have to be them all an event that she enjoyd. Maybe too tiring looking through a photo album.

Ronnie & I laugh now at some of the things that happened when I was in the Re-hab hospital it all just takes time.

Take care


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Hmmmm.... maybe make a puzzle of your own??? Not that you have time for this with everything that's going on, but the thought popped into my head so I thought I'd pass it along. I think the photo stores or craft stores have supplies for such a thing?? It would be fun with photos of the family to have her remember names of people and things and then match the shape of the photo to a tracing on a board??? I bet a teacher's supply store would have a kit for this.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello hannah

How are you and your mum doing? I know when i got home my husband looked a lot worse than I was. Poor fella was just shattered.

I was abit like your mum. I thought I was in OZ, more particulary Home and Away. Bizzare.

I preferred to be humoured. As when someone pointed out i'd forgotten something I would be very upset. maybe its just a personal thing.

Good luck


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