subzero

Hello Louise

Thankyou so much for your frank message about your family.

Well done on 16 years - your recovery has seen you come such a long way in your SAH journey and you are such a great example and encouragement to all of us. Your timely posts always touch the right chord.

Wishing you warmest thoughts as you remember your mum and dad at this time. They certainly would be so proud of their daughter's courage in adversity.

I have only known you for less than a year but it has been a pleasure during my own ups and downs.

Take care and keep strong

Subs

Mrs Subs had her CT Scan last Thursday and her consultant called today- He says that it looks as if she has a stone in her pancreas and he has instructed a specialist in the pancreas to meet up with her-

Her liver blood results are all improving and her next blood test is in two weeks-  the waiting game-

Certainly she is looking well- eating well- and still working her two days per week-

Hopefully the pressures of my mother`s passing on 30th Sep are in the past-

Take care everyone-

Subs-

Trying hard to cath up on the many posts `ve missed out on- I will get there !

Hi everyone

Mrs Subs has recovered well - the medics are still trying to establish the cause-Ultrasound revealed nothing and CT Scan asap.

Interesting- she dressed for church this morning and looked stunning !  I said- when did you get that lovely outfit dear ? She replied- `You bought it for me twelve years ago !`   

Anyway- we bumped into her head Consultant on Saturday when we were visiting my mother in hospital- she seemed quite positive that the problem was not something `serious`  -wow- hearing this was such a relief-even though they are still trying to establish the cause-

Up early tomorrow for another INR check-

Subs

Thank you `guys` for your kind words of support.

Much valued and appreciated.

I sympathise so much with the members of BTG who strive so hard to achieve progress with their health- and when these `body blows` come they can hit everyone involved so much - and yet they still want to help others too-

Amazing attitude- don`t ever change !

Subs

Mrs Subs is recovering from her recent health `blip` . However when we checked her monthly bloods on Tuesday morning we discovered that her liver tests had spiked. Normal is up to 50, but with her immunosuppressants-her `normal`  for the past three years has been around 140. The test result was 570 so we immediately called her GP who after checking with her consultant, booked her in for more blood tests and she also had an Ultra Sound Scan this afternoon. She is also to have a CT scan soon.

So while she is recovering- they want to find the cause of this sudden rise  in her results. Always pleased that her medics give her immediate attention. Her NHS experience in the past four years has been first class.

Subs

Hi Clare

So sorry to learn that you are feeling frustrated by your employer`s attitude to your return to work progress. It is disappointing that a health orientated business can adopt this stance. Surely they must agree that failure to provide you with written confirmation of your phased return discussions at the outset is bad practice

You have a strong desire not to let work problems affect your health and work life balance and I do hope you can get them to take a realistic approach given the severity of your illness. Twenty five hours a week is a great achievement so far given it is still early days for you.

Keep positive

Subs

Good morning Sonia

Many thanks for your introduction to BTG- glad that you found the site following your SAH- you will find much help and support here.

When you feel ready-perhaps you could share a little about the circumstances when your SAH happened- and also the support friends you have to help you recover.

As a Carer I know it is also a difficult time for your family too- who will be so eager to see you recover fast- and feel the ups and downs as you deal with the after effects of your SAH.

You will learn from others here that time and patience is so important in the days ahead and don`t hesitate to share your thoughts- It is good to know that others have been there before you.

It may also help your friends understand what you are going through if they too look in on BTG.

Take care and you will get stronger-

Subs

Hello Bill

Yes- a warm welcome to BGT  - so glad you have found it to be a great help in the past nine months.

Also great to see you have such a positive attitude to your recovery and that you  are doing well. You definitely made the right decision to retire following your SAH. You are giving yourself the best possible chance to improve.

Like your wife- I am `the other half` and have been through the trauma of the anxiety from seeing our partner at their lowest-and the highs and lows of a gradual recovery- does Trish also read the posts on BTG.? I found the site such a help. How did Sophie your dog react when you were really poorly?

Looking forward to hearing from you both as you continue to recover-and wishing you both good strength.

Subs

I just thought I would make a comment on Mrs Subs recent illness so that anyone else who may also be on warfarin can see how things can change so quickly

For anyone who may not have read about her health issues- four years ago she suffered from a DVT, Wegeners diagnosis and SAH while in hospital for tests April 2011.

Two weeks ago she had a regular INR warfarin check and because her results were very steady ( 2.5   Her norm should be 2 with a leeway to 2,5)-she was asked to make her next check-up on 9th Oct.

Because of her nausea in in the past 10 days her GP asked her to do a recheck on her INR. This morning her result was 5.5 ! Hence part of the reason she is still very weak- so- no more warfarin until Sunday and a recheck on Monday morning-

Her thin blood is currently a danger levels but should normalise by the weekend- so important that she did not just wait for her October check !

The warfarin medication has nothing to do with her SAH

Subs

Hello Paul

Thanks for taking the time to reply to everyone-

Your journey of recovery is unique to you - as many have said-everyone is different-

You have made a good decision to share your thoughts and fears on BTG- and you can tell from the interest shown in your posts, that people genuinely care for your situation and want to help in some way. You are not alone. Also it could well be the case that others visiting BTG may have similar thoughts to your own and they have/will be helped by all that has been posted on your thread.

You mentioned earlier that you enjoyed travel. What other interests do you have?

Hope you do have a good day today and in the days to come-

Subs

Well done Mandie

As Winnie says - you are very brave-

Delighted you are positive about looking to the future  

Wishing you good strength to face whatever challenges come your way in your recovery- 

Be patient - time does heal

Subs

Hello Paul

A belated welcome to BTG- I am a Carer-my wife had a SAH May 2011.

You have already had so much great guidance from BTG members about how to approach your fear of your shunt malfunctioning-

I have met some amazing friends on this site who are not only coping with their own battles with SAH but are incredibly finding time to help others like your self who are looking for help- I am amazed that Karen managed to get this site off the ground while at the very early stages of her own recovery-  When I joined this site eight months ago - a struggling Carer- knowing there are others around shares the load.

What I am saying is- hopefully as you read different threads within BTG you will begin to realise that you are not alone and that there are many who are struggling everyday with different recovery issues. Not only that-they have partners-husbands-relatives who are undergoing serious health issues too- and as you get to know them you will find that your own circumstances while still serious- will be put into some perspective and perhaps this will begin to give you some solace re your own situation.

The main thing is- keep on going and believe things will improve for you

Hope you do look into the Green Room now and again- 

Subs

Well done Macca

As you often say- everyone`s journey is different-

You have dealt well with your own journey while helping others-

New chance for a new life-  (carpe diem)

Onwards and upwards

Subs

Hello Elizabeth

Thanks for your comments-

To answer your query about `changing your lifestyle`-

I simply meant that to give your husband a chance of a good recovery you may be challenged to do whatever it takes-

It is clear from the many posts on this site that not giving the brain a chance in the early post SAH days, results in a real struggle -Often having to accept that making more effort to return to `normal` is indeed a hindrance to recovery. Few are able to return to life as it was.

Only you and your husband can tell if your current decisions about work/life are enough to see your husband cope and make improvements in his brain recovery.

Subs

Hello Elizabeth

I have tried to grasp the content in your threads-

Unchartered Territory, I`m not his mother, and How to relax-

You certainly have received a wealth of valuable advice from your friends at BTG.

I –like you, am a Carer-my wife had her SAH 8 May 2011.

I am so sorry to learn that not only is your husband finding it so hard to re-adjust post SAH-but that you also are suffering from the many strains of being a Carer-It can be so hard to have the added issues brought about by SAH when your lives have been run on the fast lane for so long.

Like many others-I find it so ironic that your husband is surrounded by colleagues in the `Health` business who seem to break all the `recovery rules` in the book with regard to his return to work. Your husband has been and still is in need of time to heal-even though he looks OK on the outside.

I am sure you know that this is the case from your attempts to take care of him since his SAH last September-

My wife was not a surgeon- but she had a very pressured job with ten specialties to look after for ensuring consultants daily workloads were at full capacity-she also wanted to return to full-time work post SAH.

Her route to this was- realistic time away from work (months not weeks) then carefully phased return which was closely monitored by Occupational Health Doctor-following her discharge in June 2011 she was not back full-time until July 2012-however she was at that time fully in charge of her previous job-and she remained in that busy pressured work until she retired  August 2013.

I can honestly say that any other fast-track effort to return would have most likely severely hampered her successful return-perhaps permanently.

With the greatest respect-your husband seems as if he has made getting back to `life as it was` his priority,  with practically no time given for his damaged brain to readjust. Your own health has suffered as you have tried to make things work and seen how futile it has been.

His workload pre SAH not to mention his incredible after work `to do list` appears so onerous – your life styles as you say-had little room for `me time` ! You do admit in your posts that you did feel this was the case-

You mentioned in your first thread that post SAH he was `reading more books than he had ever done`- but in your recent post you mention that he finds reading a problem- what do you think has changed?

You also mention in a later post that he had intended to have a full review of his work capabilities back in March- what was the outcome of this? Can you explain what the current understanding is?

You say, how can such a busy husband relax. Sometimes it is not easy for a SAH survivor to admit that their brain has been badly damaged- does he speak openly about his feelings concerning his SAH?

I feel his `to-do` list has to take on a new focus-with priority given to a realistic plan to ensure that he has the best chance of a good recovery.

First on that list is a review of his work. This is where he has most pressure. Are you both prepared to adjust your lifestyles to let him have a decent chance to recover? This decision is probably the most important decision you will ever make as the outcome could have such positive/negative effects on his future health. You say that change is doubtful-however in time-he may have pushed so hard that he is forced to quit completely anyway.

Next- value time for you both- walks, talks, days away, weekends away, a week away – there must be places you both want to visit/revisit. You have received other suggestions from members of BTG.

Have you read neilhapgood`s    http://www.braininjuryftp.com/

Next-  well –until he is showing good positive signs- don`t let there be a `next`. He has to be given time to adjust.

You too will find you will benefit from this different focus-

I do hope that you are able to take control of his recovery so that he and his brain get the time needed to allow healing-

Subs

Hello Gillian

A warm welcome to BTG- one thing is sure-you have come to a great place to get support following your SAH- As you find posts which are similar to your own experience- you will be encouraged in knowing that you are not alone-and that others who have progressed with their SAH journey of recovery can give you hope for the future.

You already have discovered that the initial desire to get back to full-time work is tempered with the realisation that how quickly you want to return and how quickly your damaged brain wants to return -are two very different challenges-

Take care and be patient.

Perhaps you could mention more about the circumstances leading up to your SAH and your hospital care prior to discharge-

You will get comments from other SAH survivors to help you-

My view point is as a Carer- and I wish you strength and patience for your journey to better health

Subs

Good Morning SB

I`m just stating the obvious-  I find it hard to believe that such professional medics can cause any uncertainty about the drugs they prescribe following the serious life-threatening cases they deal with on a regular basis. Matching patient-condition-appropriate drugs seems to be the foundation of understanding each case-

It surely must be second nature for all these things to be considered together.

Hope your concerns are resolved quickly

Send my best wishes to Kelley

Subs

Hello Kris

Thankyou for all your posts today- appreciate your candidness

So pleasing to hear how positive you are after four years post SAH, and although you still have issues you are dealing with- well done for your attitude to the challenges.

It was four years for my wife last May and I can agree from the Carer's viewpoint- progress goes on and lifts your spirits.

Wishing you well in the months ahead

Subs

Good Morning SB

So glad Kelley`s tests have proved encouraging and have given you a chance to feel positive-

So it`s now the journey home and and Kelley`s continuing long-haul journey to a better quality of life.

Wishing you the patience to deal with the ups and downs and the strength and resolve to cope with all the work-home and nursing challenges along the way.

It will get better and you both will look back on these early months with a smile-

Keep strong

Subs

Good Morning Paul-

And a warm welcome to BTG

As Tina says-you and your family will find much help and support on this site- 

I am sure you will get comments to allay your concerns about the shunt as the day progresses-

Subs  (my wife had her SAH four years ago)

Hello SB

Thanks for keeping in touch and for the update on Kelleys visit to Boston at the weekend.

So many demands on your time and so much you find you can't control. The cumulative effect of so much going on does over time take it's toll on the Carers. I remember when we had the ambulance journey of 125 miles to Edinburgh for my wife's coiling-circumstances with her scheduling resulted in me hurriedly having to arrange extended accomodation to cover for additional days until she was able to cope with the return journey .

Glad you were able to take time with your relatives at the weekend-someoneelse to talk to does help.

Feel for Kelley and yourself with the apprehension of more tests.

Keep strong and hope there is a good outcome next week.

Subs

Karen

A big thankyou to you and your team.

BTG is an incredible helpline to SAH survivors and Carers and plays such an important role in post SAH recovery.

Well done for persevering - considering the severe trauma you have all been through.

And ten years on- for you- keep well and strong yourself for the `next 10`.

Subs

Thanks for sharing again SB
 
Glad you appreciate that others do care and want to help with their comments-
 
As Daffodil says- the unseen brain is trying to cope with it`s trauma and needs time- fatigue and stress will result from too much effort too soon-
 
Look forward to hearing the results of Kelley`s appointment at the weekend-
 
Claire- as you say- it`s only six months- and you have been testing your boundaries- nothing wrong with making August a reflection month- free from the upper limits-
 
Missing that picture of hubby and the chicken
 
Subs

Good evening SB
 
Many thanks for your comments-
 
How has your day ended? You indicated that it was becoming rather stressful and confrontational.
As Daffodil says- things will get better with time-
 
How have you been managing so far following your husbands discharge? Trying to keep your business functioning and running a home, not to mention the implications of having your husband at home- you must be under great strain- do you have any help?
 
Being head of a Wealth Management business- you are used to making important decisions for your clients. Ironically now you are facing some of the biggest decisions you will make concerning yourself and hubby.
You have probably covered many options in your mind already so what I say now may only highlight what you already considered-
 
Your husband is home- he has been and still is very unwell-and he needs a long time to help him make the best recovery. How much this recovery will be is not something you can guess at this time.
 
You appear to be very business orientated –are you prepared to look at taking time out for your husband`s sake ?-Maybe it does not appear so right at this moment but he needs you- the speed and nature of his recovery can be very much influenced by you being prepared to devote your time to helping him-perhaps unconditionally-
 
Is there a possibility that you can employ someone on salary to temporarily manage your business for you-can one of your existing staff take additional responsibilities?
 
Would you consider selling your business to free your time ? OR realistically `downsizing` to give you more time-
 
As I mentioned earlier- SAH survivors on this site will gladly try and help you understand how your husband might be feeling at this stage in his recovery-
 
Perhaps you can take time to tell us what a typical day consists of for your husband at the moment-
You did mention that he is driving- many on BTG have driving put on hold for around six months- by the UK  DVLC.
 
Many of us will sympathise with your comments about your own family not being around to give you any support- families can be rather `frustrating` at times !!
 
Please do continue to share your feelings on BTG- it will help you cope as you try and deal with the many issues that are challenging your `self-control` at this time
 
Subs

Good Morning SB

Am I right-your clock is five hours behind us in the UK?

I have been reading your comments with interest- and having been a carer for four years I understand some of the feelings coming out in your post. Can I just offer a few more comments bearing in mind that you have been quite detailed in explaining about  hubby`s journey so far

It`s very early days for his recovery – he has been through so much-

You will read often on this site about SAH survivors trying to get `back to normal` asap and six months later accepting that the road to recovery is a long patient one depending on their own circumstances. You mention in your first post about how you `bullied` your husband into making greater effort and how you questioned the medics prescribing drugs. This is all understandable- but the brain`s healing does not work along these rules and you will find many posts on this site to explain this - also Neilhapgood`s New Resource post has much detail on this and is an interesting read when you can get the time.

Also- you mention your husband`s outbursts- this is such a difficult one to deal with- as you tackle how to deal with hearing and seeing the person you love behaving in this way- the brain damage caused by the SAH is the reason for this and again you will find on this site that the severity of this varies considerably- trying to come to terms with it and trying to resolve it over time takes it`s toll on your patience, emotions and your own self control (as you say-you have found yourself giving as good as you get)

If you read in my Introduction Thread- you will see a very good response from Daffodil when I raised this question at a time when I too was feeling the strain.

Your SAH journey has happened at a time when you are at a stage in life when your family are no longer living with you- so you do not have the added pressures of coping with young children and the financial implications resulting- however you mention that you were both very active- you do not say if you are both still working by choice or to meet financial/living commitments (you do not have to comment on this here) but you mentioned that in the early days – you were spending 20 hours around your husband.

I would just mention that how to reorganise your life around your hubby`s recovery is a very important decision to make and will have a definite impact on the extent of the strains caused by all that is going on- for me- I immediately took 3 months off work- and a year later decided to retire as I realised that trying to get back to previous normality would be a stress too far- and my health would probably have suffered too. These are all big decisions and choices that do make a difference.

Just a few helping hand comments- and remember you are not alone in your `battle` for some normality- this site is a `goldmine` of helpful posts

Both of you keep strong

Subs