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subzero last won the day on July 4

subzero had the most liked content!

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About subzero

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  • Gender
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  • Interests
    Sport-(watching rather than participating now)Football, Golf, Athletics

    World travel

    Reading-Gardening-Having a latte as often as possible with my wife (she had SAH 5/2011)

    Late learner for Washing & Ironing, Hoovering, Dusting, Washing up-

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  1. Michelle also congratulations six years on. You certainly have packed a lot into the past year. Well done for taking the time to give support to Andrea and Jan. They will certainly have appreciated it. Now it's getting that comfortable new car ... Many thanks for sharing with us along the way and hope the caravaning weather is kind to you over the summer months. Subs
  2. Sarah, the thoughts of all Winnie`s BTG friends have been with you, Al and your family during the past month. Winnie made such a lasting impression on us all, and we felt a BTG celebration and tribute would be so appropriate for your mum. https://web.behindthegray.net/topic/8969-a-celebration-of-the-life-of-win-betts/
  3. Hello Matthew and welcome as a member of BTG. Also glad that you have been finding the site helpful in the years following your SAH. Our members will make every effort to support and encourage both you and your wife. Firstly well done almost four years on. SAH really does have a life changing impact on the whole family. Perhaps you could provide more information about your progress in the early months. We are here to listen and dont worry about how long it takes. For example how was your employment affected? With a very young family, does your wife stay at home or has she employment too? SAH recovery is quite unique and everyone has many issues to contend with. I am sure you will tell us where your challenges have been. From your comments, you highlight the frustrations which both you and your wife are experiencing. Please both understand that this is not uncommon Your wife wants you back to your former self, and so do you... but you know she doesn't understand what SAH has done to you and you are upset because she doesn't seem to understand. It would be very helpful if like you, she could join the site ...we have a Carers Forum and even reading all forums would help her appreciation of how difficult things are for you. It is important that you both try and talk this over in a constructive way. Ask her to share all her concerns about your progress...and then you too tell her how you really are. She needs to understand the reasons behind your fatigue and tiredness. Please keep asking and we will do our best to help you both better understand your recovery issues. Subs
  4. Hello and also a warm welcome to BTG. The after effects of SAH are varied and often complex depending on the nature and position of the bleed. When discharged survivors are often left with so many questions unanswered. This is in the main because every case is quite unique and only as time passes do you and your family become aware of how debilitating or otherwise your brain trauma has been. As Sami mentioned, there are members who are recovering with shunts, and shunts have been the subject of much discussion on this site. The following link will provide much information for you meantime. https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?&q=Shunt&search_and_or=or We look forward to hearing more from you when you can. Meantime I wish you well as you deal with your recovery. We are here to help and support you. Subs
  5. Hello Paola .... and a very warm welcome to BTG. You are right .... here you are in good company and you will find great help, support and reassurance as you read the recovery journeys of our members and discover their wllingness to help you with any questions you may have. You certainly were dealt a harsh blow nine months ago firstly with the SAH and then to suffer a debilitating stroke. You have done so well to regain what you feel is 85% of where you used to be. SAH recovery is still a lengthy process depending on the extent of the brain damage caused by the bleed. The majority of survivors discover that they are aflicted by headaches, tiredness and frustration. The latter being that you want to return to the 100% you were before, but in different ways, you know that life and emotions have changed considerably. Returning to work, and managing the usual housework is often a big challenge going forward. The anxiety of possibly having a rebleed is often felt by our members, however the facts borne out even by this forum members, is that it is very rare indeed. Hopefully over time this will become something that finds it`s way to the back of your mind. Often your immediate relatives are even more worried about a rebleed than you are yourself. I do hope you have family and friends who have supported you along the way so far. Please don`t hesitate to ask any questions of our members and we wish you well as you continue your SAH journey. Subs
  6. I had a note in my diary to get a poem ready for Winnie and Al's 50th anniversary on 29th August. Subs
  7. Sarah I am also devastated to read your news about Winnie's passing. Winnie was such a great 'online' friend to me personally since we met 5 years ago and as Karen says she is so well liked by everyone here on BTG with her own incredible sense of humour. Her encouraging words to everyone ..'Think happy thoughts and keep singing ' will never be forgotten, and her frank insights into her childhood years with her family as she grew up were lovely to read. Thoughts and sincere sympathies are with all your family especially you, Al and Tilly. Subs
  8. Hello Mark and also a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you found the site early. With so much information from personal experiences available you will benefit greatly as you 'recover'. You have already identified the key attitude to adopt. Rest well, accept that life has changed and slowly over the coming months adapt and respect your brain and body. Not an easy target for someone who has enjoyed living in 'the fast lane' When you do eventually consider back to work ... a phased return kept under constant review ... and patience to accept that it may well need many changes along the way. You are beginning one of the most important challenges of your life. Best wishes in how you tackle it. Also wishing your wife and family, and your business partner the patience and strength they will need as they adjust their lives too. Take care and keep well hydrated. Subs
  9. Jean thankyou for sharing and well done three years on. Also we appreciate your comments on BTG and so glad you have found the site to be supportive in your journey post SAH. Take care and great to know you are still enjoying your reduced work hours. Subs
  10. Hello Brenda and also a very warm welcome to BTG. I am sure that already you are benefitting from knowing that you are among friends who understand the struggles ahead for your husband, and who are able to share from their real experiences what you may be faced with over the coming months and years. The Carers Forum is exactly that. When your husband had his bleed in January two lives were never going to be exactly the same again. While your husband is struggling with the aftermath of damage to his brain in these early days he is physically exhausted and the trauma has affected his ability to control his limbs. His thought processes are all confused and he is not acting like `your loving husband` anymore. You are devastated by what has happened, yet relieved that he has not died. The mixed emotions are playing havoc with your normal thought processes too and these early days have been filled with worry, lack of sleep and little time to take care of your own nourishment. The medics have given you little guidance on how he will recover because at these early days and weeks they simply do not know the full extent of brain damage... some temporary and some more permanent. As the weeks lead into months you are encouraged by progress but always wondering when you will get back the husband that you had grown so close to over the years. And three months on you may even let yourself start thinking that life isn't going to be the same again .... and to some extent this will be the case ..... and this is different for all survivors...... Everyone`s struggle to adapt is different. Perhaps the most difficult challenge for you is when your dear husband shows irritation and frustration towards you when you are trying so hard to help him. Emotionally this is so very hard to deal with .... and as time goes on you may even find yourself beginning to react in a similar manner out of your own frustrations .... then you experience pangs of guilt about your own reaction and feelings. He is your husband. Brenda ... when the brain has experienced such trauma ... often the patient`s tolerance levels dramatically change. Instead of `biting his lip` when a situation may be upsetting him... now he just `lashes out` to varying degrees. This really is upsetting for you over time. As our members have advised in their comments .... any form of recovery requires patience .... and it is so important that you accept that there is no quick solution. He needs you so much as he faces the challenges ahead. However you too need to take care of yourself. Try and talk things over with your husband ... but also lean on your good friends and family. It is good for you to have a shoulder to lean on throughout this lengthy journey. So Brenda,take care and keep in touch with us in your journey together. As others have said ..... progress can be slow but time does make a difference. Subs
  11. Hello Gem .... also so so sorry to hear that your dad has passed away amid such immensely challenging times. Please accept my sincere condolences and I hope you and your family can find solace in the many good times you shared with dad over the years. Take care and keep strong. Subs PS. So glad that Win made that contact with you which made you aware that the BTG family were there for you since his SAH.
  12. Hello Stevie Many thanks for posting your comments on BTG. I do hope you are getting the support from family and friends to help you on the recovery road. Following SAH there is no 'one advice' that fits all. The nature of each bleed is different, as is the damage to the brain and the area suffering the trauma. This site has so much valuable information from members who have shared their fears, anxieties and struggles in the days, months and years following their bleed. You will find great encouragement from reading the various forums. Meantime the following link will provide some information on your specific query about 'flow diverters' . https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?&q=Flow diverter&search_and_or=or Please take time when you are able to share the circumstances surrounding your SAH by visiting the Introduce Yourself forum. Our members will endeavour to help answer any questions you ask. Wishing you well as you go forward and remember it has been a steep learning curve for survivors and carers alike. Subs
  13. Daffodil .... also a huge well done 8 years on. Your journey has been filled with so much that`s been a help for others. Amazing to learn over the years how you have faced the challenges of SAH, work, family life with two fast growing girls and so many emotions along the way. I too have enjoyed reading your blog ...... and found your responses on BTG most helpful in my role as a carer. Great to see that picture of you standing on the surf board having mastered your balance in a great way. A big moment for you personally. Best wishes for the 2020 challenges for you and your family. Subs
  14. Hello Kathy and also well done two years on. Great to hear how well you are dealing with your life post SAH. It must have been so difficult when your mother passed away while you were still in hospital and later your father and aunt. Yet as you say... family have been so supportive over the past two years. Leaving your demanding teaching job was no doubt a difficult but wise step, and I am sure the foster work you and husband continue to do must give you much satisfaction. Many thanks for sharing and we are glad that your new found friends in BTG have also helped along the way. 😊 Best wishes for the years ahead. Subs
  15. Hello Simone, and also a very warm welcome to BTG. Well done to your husband for finding our site and great to hear that you have found encouragement from reading the content of the various forums. I hope he too has found support from the site. Congratulations to you both on the exciting news about your pregnancy. I am sure the medics will give you the added support knowing your existing condition. You may already have checked out this site link. https://web.behindthegray.net/search/?q=PREGNANCY&quick=1 So glad you are taking a positive attitude towards your life post bleed. It is tough for everyone as they deal with the issues of coming to terms that life will be different and challenging. BTG will give you a tremendous insight into how our members have coped. Best wishes for the months ahead until the birth of your baby and we look forward to your own helpful comments about your journey. Subs
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