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Xmartz

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Everything posted by Xmartz

  1. Hi, i haven't been here in awhile and I apologize for that. I'm almost 6 years out from my bleed and I'm just feeling really worthless. I have 18 and 20 year old children who live at home and I feel like a dud of a mom and wife. I hate how my brain works everyday. i seem to be going down a path of depression and self hatred. Anyone else have terrible anger outbursts that seem out of control? I hate when that happens, sometimes I even throw things and it makes me hate the new me even more. I say all the time that I would've rather lost my right arm than a piec
  2. Anyone else have friends just drop off the face of the earth after your bleed. Like it's too difficult for THEM to handle! My "friends" didn't want me coming on a women's weekend trip we do annually because they don't want me to be a burden if some health issue arises. It might ruin their time getting drunk!
  3. I have had seizures, mostly small, but had a BIG one while home alone and ended up on a ventilator! Make sure you take the meds every day! I've found that a certain drug, investigate all options, helps me a lot with seizures
  4. Hi folks! I was wondering if anyone had issues with significant depression? I'm 5 years out and have always been extremely optimistic, actually helping to keep my family and their moods above water. I've been the driving force. Well, a few days ago this kind of deep, all-encompassing depression seems to have taken over me. I know that brain injury can cause depression and depression can develop due to the effects of the injury. I'm thinking this is both. But it's like I'm being dragged down and can't get myself back up. I'm usually a very optimistic
  5. I don't have pain, but my vision was greatly affected. I need trifocals now and for some time had left sided neglect...my vision was ok, but my brain wasn't recognizing things on the left peripheral. I went through 4-5 months of intense vision therapy. It was harder than occupational, speech and physical therapy combined! It helped a lot though and I'm finally back to driving, although it took 3 years! God bless! Mandie
  6. Has anyone's healthcare team explained how this type of bleed is different from an aneurysm? I mean, Non-Aneurysm SAH or Perimesencephalic SAH...what exactly is that? What are the chances of it happening again? my docs seemed puzzled as to the cause altogether. Frustrating
  7. I definitely still have bouts of vertigo 4 years out. Looking up and down affect me the most!
  8. I could've wrote that post myself, and I am 4 years out! Esp. Telling my family members the same thing over and over and forgetting what I was going for and repeating it to myself! Thanks for sharing! I hope you continue to improve! I was an EMT, but can't multi task anymore; an essential aspect of the job!
  9. Hi folks! First I apologize for being MIA for awhile. I've been trying to find a PT job since my brain can't function in my previous career area. I am wondering if anyone has a family that has figured out how to strike a balance between giving you a break because you have brain problems and treating you like a child. i forget things all day and my husband and teenagers still get extremely frustrated with me. But when I ask them not to get so frustrated they remind me that I don't want to be treated like a child. How do I help them understand?
  10. So true about everyone looking at you like you should be back to your normal just weeks after such an event! Please trust your instincts though. Just three months after my SAH I had a subdue all bleed. Although I had a headache, something about that one just seemed off and I'm so glad I went. Luckily this one was MUCH smaller than my SAH was. Please keep us updated! Mandie
  11. I have continued to have anger and aggression issues three and a half years post SAH. I get to the point where I throw things sometimes and really yell sometimes over small things. When it happens it brings up thoughts of my disability and just makes me more angry. Is this an issue that anyone else has had this far out? thank you so much
  12. Hi, looking for advice on how to handle that voice in my head that keeps telling me how stupid I am and will always be every time I make a mistake, lose something or just get frustrated because I can't do little things. Especially when family is hard on me because they just can't get it thank you!
  13. Thank you so much for your positive words of support. It feels great to be able to talk to others to totally understand what you're going through
  14. Hi Friends, Just need a bit of some uplifting words I think. I had been doing so well and for some reason this week hit like a wall and I can't seem to get through it without crying. I think I grieve sometimes just over when I have lost, half of my brain, any kind of job, which is pretty much any kind of social activity most of the time, my driving. I know I'm not supposed to describe myself this way but I just feel like such an idiot half of the time or more. It sucks when it takes three hours to make dinner because I miss placed something every five minutes and
  15. Vermont girl, I struggled for six months after my bleed with severe headaches only to find out that the narcotics I was taking were giving me what they call"rebound headaches". The drug helps at first but then I would get a worse headache Later in the day. I cut back on the narcotics and my doc gave me a combo of Benadryl and a nausea med,(either compazine or phenergran). Basically makes me very tired and I sleep off the bad headache. This worked out much better for me. Good luck finding your solution! prayers! Mandie
  16. If you don't mind, could you share with us what your Neuro docs say about this? Thank you!
  17. You may want to sit down and look at your finances/budget and see if there may be a way for you to cut back to working part time. I don't know if you're from the U S but I was put on social security disability to help supplement our income. l can't for the life of me understand why your Neuro docs would think you could go back to your normal routine so fast! As said above, CHECKING OUT IS NOT AN OPTION! We have all been given a second chance and there is a reason for us to be here or the Lord wouldn't have helped us thus far. Your family and friends need y
  18. My situation was weird. Only symptom was vomiting about every half for four days straight. I was actually in the ER two days prior for it but there were so many others there for the same reason that they assumed I had the same bug that was going around. Two days later my husband came home from work to find me on the floor. I was barely conscious and very altered/confused making no sense.
  19. Dear Subs, I thank you so much for your supportive response. Last night I had my husband read this post and it helped him immensely. He told me to make sure that I saved it so that he could read it again from time to time as needed. Thank you for helping him find that he is not alone in this struggle!❤️ Mandie
  20. Vermont girl, Hi! I hope you are not going back to work too soon after such an injury. I am more than two years out and have been placed on permanent disability. I'm lucky to have a husband to support my family; even if we are barely squeaking by. Be kind to yourself! Expect that you will have days like this. It is out of your control! As for the anti-inflammatory drug, I was told by my docs to NEVER take them again. However, I am on blood thinners so that may make a huge difference. feel better and don't beat yourself up about the moods. Find things that are
  21. Hi! I was wondering if anyone else had any extreme itching of their craniotomy site scars? Its over two years since my craniotomy and just less than two years since my cranioplasty and the itching almost seems to be getting worse. Some days it seems like the entire bone flap itches! I scratch sometimes until I almost scratch it open! Is this normal? I have a question in to my surgeon but may be awhile before I hear back. Thanks! Mandie
  22. I had a very large right frontal lobe bleed two years ago. Before then, I was a quiet person who didn't dare speak up for myself even if something really bothered me. In other words, I was a doormat! Now I can't just push my feelings aside and let things go. If something bothers me I need to let it be known. I can't hold my feelings back. Its funny because I also can't hold back my tears when I'm emotional when I used to hold it all inside. Its really difficult to just to not wear my feelings on my sleeve. This is is sometimes very difficult for my family t
  23. I've been posting in the SAH forum n ot realizing that there was a forum for those who have had non aneurysm SAH. I suppose you are all as puzzled as I am about where your SAH came from. Has anyone else ever heard of PRES? Posterier reversible encephalopathy syndrome;Neuro team was wondering if that was what may have caused my SAH. PRES Is a rare syndrome that not much is known about right now.
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