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Xmartz last won the day on August 2 2015

Xmartz had the most liked content!

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About Xmartz

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  • Birthday 11/11/1968

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  1. Hi, i haven't been here in awhile and I apologize for that. I'm almost 6 years out from my bleed and I'm just feeling really worthless. I have 18 and 20 year old children who live at home and I feel like a dud of a mom and wife. I hate how my brain works everyday. i seem to be going down a path of depression and self hatred. Anyone else have terrible anger outbursts that seem out of control? I hate when that happens, sometimes I even throw things and it makes me hate the new me even more. I say all the time that I would've rather lost my right arm than a piec
  2. Anyone else have friends just drop off the face of the earth after your bleed. Like it's too difficult for THEM to handle! My "friends" didn't want me coming on a women's weekend trip we do annually because they don't want me to be a burden if some health issue arises. It might ruin their time getting drunk!
  3. I have had seizures, mostly small, but had a BIG one while home alone and ended up on a ventilator! Make sure you take the meds every day! I've found that a certain drug, investigate all options, helps me a lot with seizures
  4. Hi folks! I was wondering if anyone had issues with significant depression? I'm 5 years out and have always been extremely optimistic, actually helping to keep my family and their moods above water. I've been the driving force. Well, a few days ago this kind of deep, all-encompassing depression seems to have taken over me. I know that brain injury can cause depression and depression can develop due to the effects of the injury. I'm thinking this is both. But it's like I'm being dragged down and can't get myself back up. I'm usually a very optimistic
  5. I don't have pain, but my vision was greatly affected. I need trifocals now and for some time had left sided neglect...my vision was ok, but my brain wasn't recognizing things on the left peripheral. I went through 4-5 months of intense vision therapy. It was harder than occupational, speech and physical therapy combined! It helped a lot though and I'm finally back to driving, although it took 3 years! God bless! Mandie
  6. Has anyone's healthcare team explained how this type of bleed is different from an aneurysm? I mean, Non-Aneurysm SAH or Perimesencephalic SAH...what exactly is that? What are the chances of it happening again? my docs seemed puzzled as to the cause altogether. Frustrating
  7. I definitely still have bouts of vertigo 4 years out. Looking up and down affect me the most!
  8. I could've wrote that post myself, and I am 4 years out! Esp. Telling my family members the same thing over and over and forgetting what I was going for and repeating it to myself! Thanks for sharing! I hope you continue to improve! I was an EMT, but can't multi task anymore; an essential aspect of the job!
  9. Hi folks! First I apologize for being MIA for awhile. I've been trying to find a PT job since my brain can't function in my previous career area. I am wondering if anyone has a family that has figured out how to strike a balance between giving you a break because you have brain problems and treating you like a child. i forget things all day and my husband and teenagers still get extremely frustrated with me. But when I ask them not to get so frustrated they remind me that I don't want to be treated like a child. How do I help them understand?
  10. So true about everyone looking at you like you should be back to your normal just weeks after such an event! Please trust your instincts though. Just three months after my SAH I had a subdue all bleed. Although I had a headache, something about that one just seemed off and I'm so glad I went. Luckily this one was MUCH smaller than my SAH was. Please keep us updated! Mandie
  11. I have continued to have anger and aggression issues three and a half years post SAH. I get to the point where I throw things sometimes and really yell sometimes over small things. When it happens it brings up thoughts of my disability and just makes me more angry. Is this an issue that anyone else has had this far out? thank you so much
  12. Hi, looking for advice on how to handle that voice in my head that keeps telling me how stupid I am and will always be every time I make a mistake, lose something or just get frustrated because I can't do little things. Especially when family is hard on me because they just can't get it thank you!
  13. Thank you so much for your positive words of support. It feels great to be able to talk to others to totally understand what you're going through
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