Teechur

What a blessing to have someone looking out for you like that Sandi! You are doing so well so please take this month and just be whatever and whoever you want to be! Blessings to you!

Yay Michael! Enjoy...the days I've been able to get out and sweat have been the BEST! I miss the old "work out 2x a day and love every minute of it" me.

I'm just curious if there are other teachers who have had an SAH and returned to work and how you did it. I returned five weeks after mine and I think it was huge mistakes. This isn't a job you can "ease" into or take light duty. There is no way to work limited hours or part time. Now I am 11 weeks post with about 70 days until the end of the school year. I am out of sick leave. I haven't made a single week where I've worked five days. I am very seriously considering asking the doctor to write me a note for more time off. I love my job, love my kids. As far as teaching jobs go, mine is relatively "easy". I teach an advanced program in IT where my students have applied to be in the program. I have a total of only 48 kids; 45 boys and 3 girls. I teach two "periods" a day, each one is about 3 hours and 10 minutes. I write all my own curricula because it changes so quickly, and have always prided myself in being *ahem* an outstanding and driven teacher. Right now Mondays are good, Tuesdays I start to feel tired. Wednesday is a struggle and if I make it through that, I don't make it through Thursday. I try not to take Friday off because I don't want to be "that" teacher who is gone every Friday. Friday is spent trying to just make to the end of the day. This Friday on the drive home I realized I couldn't make it; I was not driving in a safe manner and everything felt like it was coming at me too fast. I had to pull over and find a friend to come get me. That left the car in another city so my husband had to take a bus back to retrieve it. (He was very happy to do that since it scared him so much that I pulled off.) I work on Saturday morning (I am also a personal trainer and running coach) getting my run classes going and off, and then I go home and usually spend much of the day resting and watching TV trying to deal with the headache. Sunday I sleep late and rarely plan anything in hopes that I will have a good day Monday. Monday I get back on the hamster wheel and start over and I swear it's killing me. My kids have been awesome...it isn't them. My staff has been awesome, but they can't "fix" it. HR has NOT been awesome. They've been jerks. I had sick leave donated to me for my hospital stay and after I got out, they didn't want me to use any of it for additional days off...so at first if I didn't make it through the week (which I didn't the first week, I only made three days) I had to make a decision "Do I go in and suffer through it, or do I lose a day's pay?" My boss fought for that and they capitulated, but needed a note from my doctor that I did not do a 2 point mount off the balance beams and "TA DA!!!" I was healed after my stay. My GP actually had to write "She will continue to deal with the effects of this for up to three months and may need additional time off." My current way of dealing is to put a picture of a zombie on my board when I'm having a "Zombies are eating my brain" day. The kids are great...they come in daily and ask "How are you today?" but that shouldn't be their concern. Even thinking of asking for more time off makes me feel like the worse teacher in the world because they whine if I take even a day. I know they need me, but I need me to be better. Of course it may all be moot. I see a new doctor on Wednesday (my neuro surgeon though I should be better by now) and he might not go for it. I've tried to work it out to see if I can figure out a way to make it through each week from here until June working four days with just minor loss in pay, but right now even working four days feels like too much because there is no "down" time on this job except my half hour lunch. (We get prep time either before or after school, and I can leave as soon as the kids do on days I feel I need to, so take my prep time and go home. But what I need is time DURING the day not before I'm tired or after I'm exhausted.)

David--I call every dog I meet "Buddy" because that's just such a "dog" name. So one time I was out running near the waterfront and passed this family walking a beagle. I stopped for a train and said "Hi Buddy!" to the dog. A little boy about 6 stared at me, wide-eyed and speechless. I smiled at him and said hi. He stammers, "How did you know his name was Buddy?" His mom and I started laughing because he looked like he'd seen a ghost! I explained that I call all dogs Buddy, but he really looked like a Buddy so his name fit. A little while later I passed the family out on one of the docks and the dad had joined them and was now walking Buddy. I said "Hey Buddy! How's it going?" The man looked perplexed and I said, "Oh me and Buddy go WAY back" and all the kids started giggling because they were in on the joke. Glad you're feeling better. Wonderful to hear about your wife! I finally looked into short term disability and found that I have long term, but not short term and I can't afford 90 days without pay, plus the school year isn't that long. I think it's 72 days left until end of the year. So next year I'm going to start getting STD for both of us because it doesn't make sense not to have it at our age. I think after today I have three more sick days for the year and then it's days off without pay. We can't afford for me not to work, so I will have to keep hanging on. It's just so exhausting. Like I'm home, but just had a friend drop by for about an hour. I was fine while she was here, I just sat down and the exhaustion overwhelmed me and my head started singing. In a few minutes I'm going to recline the chair and try to take a nap, or maybe even go into the bedroom. I have to go back to work tomorrow, no choice. Intellectually I agree, Mimi, but I still get so frustrated right now. I feel like I'm 90% better, but that last 10% is a HUGE thing for me. No energy to work out and run my business. No way to make plans knowing I'll be able to follow through. I'm not a good teacher. I'm not a good wife. I'm not a good trainer. I feel like I'm pretty pointless right now, and I don't say that in a "feel sorry for me" way. I mean that at this time in my life, my ability to perform and give is so limited and that has always been my chosen role; I teach and care for my students, I coach and care for my clients, I care for my husband, I care for my friends and right now the only person I can care for with any regularity is myself and I'm not doing a great job at that either. It has only been ten weeks and I know that every week gets me closer to whatever my life is going to be, but it's frustrating to not know where things are going and how long it's going to be until I get there. I just talked with a friend about a marathon we're planning to run in October and reality is, I can't even run a mile right now. Didn't mean that to sound like a pity party because I don't feel depressed about it; I feel frustrated about it.

You must always read everything I write with a smirk on your face because I am a Very Serious Person. My sense of humor...our collective senses of humor...get us through these things without going bat-poop mad! I have a big black Spiderman on my overhead today with a note that says "Spiders are eating my brains" so my students come in and know to behave or I will kill them.

I had to read yours five times Mary because I kept reading "I'm a doer overer" like you have to do everything over, even if it's done right. Could not get my Spidey Nibbled brain around it. (Having a "spiders are eating my brain" day along with crawly head.) I am finding that in the last few weeks, where I feel I've seen very little progress, I am getting more and more angry with myself and my feet. I stumble and swear, I drop something and swear. Yesterday after PT I tripped on the way out to the car and just got MAD. I've got to stop doing this. I've always been a passionate person, but I'm not prone to anger. Did all ya'alls have starts and fits? I feel like I was going up and down, but getting better but the last three weeks I feel stalled. Fortunately I'm pretty functional but it's just frustrating to say "Okay it's Tuesday and yup, here comes the headache!!" Still having maybe one "good" day a week, a few "Yeah, okay feeling okay" days and three or four "somebody shoot me" days. Kris I love that...I feel about 90% me most of the time with variations and a few 95% me days (I've had 3 or 4 so far). I'm trying something new because of how things aren't progressing. I've tried the resting, I've tried the not resting. Resting doesn't seem to help a lot (on days I feel good) so I'm modifying my normal activity so i am enjoying life on good days and on meh days, and trying to rest on bad days. Now I know today I should rest, because I'm feeling it big time, but I have a guest speaker and I'll get grades in while he's talking. That will free me up to possibly be gone tomorrow if I feel I can't drive. And like magic, he just walked in!

Welcome Dawn! I'm so sorry to meet you under this circumstance. There are a lot of answers here that I (at least) did not get from my doctor. Mine was Jan 28 and I'm supposed to be all better now. Not, but I'm definitely better than I was 10 weeks ago! Every day is a new challenge, but we're up to it and after all, what is the alternative?

Welcome Laura! You sound like a lady after my own heart. While I was in the movie theater when mine happened, I am amazed it didn't happen during a workout. I'm a teacher, personal trainer, and running coach. I had run that morning with my half marathon group, but it happened that my first symptom was while holding a large Coke Zero waiting for my husband to come over to me with the tickets to see, of all things, "The Descendants". I actually stayed for the movie. Crazy, huh? (I didn't realize how serious it was.) I wonder if the hearing loss was related to the vasospasms? I apparently didn't have any discernible ones but I had some funky symptoms at times, so who knows. I'm ten weeks out and still having symptoms. I've been able to start exercising again but every day is a shoot. Yesterday was a great day and I did a little elliptical and taught a bootcamp (modified for myself), but today my head is singing so I'm suspecting PT is all I'll be able to handle. I did come out with imbalance, tremors, and some aphasia but that's getting better although I'm still stumbly.

Interesting! The main thing that was impacted for me was the sweetness...I had (have) such a sugar craving it isn't even funny. Not sweet stuff, but pure sugar. Peeps are a GODSEND except right now I don't need the extra calories. Other than that, most everything else tasted the same. Coffee was slightly funky at first, but might have been the medication.

I've just dealt with a 48 hour long headache (it's slightly better now, but dang I'm tired) and my Dot has been on me or beside me every moment. I've had a very sad day, but she's brought me her toys and made me laugh a number of times. I even took a little video of her because she was playing with one of the big dog toys and it was making me laugh. I was petting her today and got teary thinking about how much I have been blessed by this funny looking little dog! We got her on a whim when the man who had her threatened to dump her in the woods and a friend texted a few of us locals that she trusted and said "Emergency! We need someone to take this chihuahua mix TODAY!" I wasn't looking for a dog, I never wanted a small dog, I had two and they are great together. For some reason I said "We'll take her" (without talking to my husband, who said no...to which I replied, "Oh come on! We've been married for 25 years and you KNOW I always get my way! Im going to go call the guy.) Fifteen minutes later he's driving me to pick her up saying "Wait a minute, what just happened?" I can't imagine going through this without her and the boys. What a lovely thread!

So happy to see you, neighbor! Thoughts and prayers and everything crossed for you on Tuesday with your first rad treatment! I'm hoping to have nice weather coupled with no headache this weekend and try going on a hike. I got Nordic Walking poles (still have some slight imbalance) and realized that this means I can get back into my beloved trails!

I hoard pain medication too, Mary, because I also get these symptoms very similar to pancreatitis (or the equivalent of my pancreas exploding) left over from a surgery in 2003. They happen every 4-6 weeks, and maybe once every two months it's SO bad that I have to have a pain pill or go to the hospital. For that reason, I stay away from taking the pills unless I really reALLY need them! I have Gabapentin because I was on it when I first got out of the hospital, but it messes with my vision something fierce, and gives me more ticks. I was using it alongside the morphine when Iw as taking that because morphine can bring on the pancreatic spasms above, and gabapentin counteracted that. Hated to do that, so I've really limited the number of times I take it. I know I've mentioned morphine, but I've taken it maybe twice a week on a really bad week, so I don't think I'm dealing with rebound. I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow; generally do get them every month due to my running. I'm going to have her work on my neck and upper body. Has anyone tried ice and does it help? Moist heat helps a LITTLE, but not enough to do it often. A friend who had an SAH got an ice cap and she said she practically lived in it when she first got out of the hospital. I keep thinking they are going to go away so I haven't purchased one. Plus I have to admit, I LOATHE being cold! I am getting muscle release in the neck twice a week from my PT and that helps in a limited way. It loosens the muscles, and will reduce the pain to some extent but doesn't take it away. It really feels like pressure inside my head. I'm going on hour 10 of this current bad headache. I hit one period where it went down to about a 2 with pulsing up to 4, but now it's back at a 6 or 7. Nothing has helped and it's very depressing to think about going back to work full time (high school teacher) plus night fitness classes (I'm also a personal trainer and run my own business) next week. I can get through the workouts because it's an hour and I can just moderate, not participate...but 7.5 hours at work teaching is another thing. Some days it's great, some days it's "meh" but at least once a week it's "Get me out of here my head is going to explode." The fluorescent lights make it much worse, so I keep them off in my classroom and on those days don't even wander down to the office.

When I had my release from the hospital I asked my doctor how long the headaches would last and she said 4-6 weeks from the initial hemorrhage. Well it's ten weeks and I am in bed on oxycodone with yet another horrendous headache. I am a teacher and it's spring break so I have the luxury today of doing that. Any tips for these things? I am still getting two horrible headaches a week on a 7-8 scale, with 2-4 most othe days. I've had two headache free days. I try to stay hydrated, keep the lights down, wear sunglasses indoors and out on bad days. OTC medication doesn't touch it. I've taken two 5/500 oxycodone today and maybe it shaves a point off but doesn't make it go away. On days I teach, I can't take anything. They frown upon stoned teachers at school. The nerve! Before SAH I rarely had headaches. Today's is almost as bad as the one I had the day of the sah (or what it settled into after the first 20 min or so). It's back of my head like a giant hand is pressing hard from the occipital to about halfway around, bisecting the head from ear to ear. I did have an MRI and MRA today and that sure didn't help, but that was over five hours ago. Just wanted to start a thread to refer back to. How long am I going to suffer, and any tips for dealing with them outside of drugs?

I am in bed right now at 3:30 in the afternoon with Dot sleeping on me. I have a horrible headache that nothing is touching. She has been here for me throughout my recovery. I have three dogs and we love them all dearly, but Dot my 5 pound chihuahua/Chinese crested/muppet/gremlin mix is my joy puppy. When I was in the hospital my husband would Skype me when he got home so I could see the dogs. He even smuggled her in once I was out of CCU. I sobbed, I was so happy to see her and I think Roy shed a few tears too. When I have fallen my dogs have been there for me. Dash, my pit bull mix, will let me use him to get back up. Dot will sit on my walker when I would take it for walks. He will also try to make me laugh when I'm sad and will drop his favorite toy in my lap when it appears I need some "Wubbie time". I couldn't imagine my life without dogs. This is my Dot. Five pounds of sheer joy.

As a coach and fitness trainer I can attest to a little exercise being very beneficial for fatigue. It gets the oxygen moving around the system and can help not only with how you feel, but with your outlook. It gives you a little bit of control. However, exercise is defined completely differently post SAH, from what I'm learning. It doesn't have to be the gym or the treadmill. Even doing some neuro exercises (tapping your feet in a rhythm, laying your hands, one palm up one down and "flipping them", touching each finger to your thumb in a rhythm) can be beneficial not only to the neuro pathways, but can give you a sense on "I am doing my exercise" on those really rough days. Even stretching can be considered a workout on a rough day, and is beneficial. I've found that when my head is really singing, my neck tenses badly and I need to do at least 3 stretching sessions of the neck and upper body, or it makes the headache worse. What I'm learning as a real exercise nut post SAH (mine was not as bad as some of yours) is that on good days, I have to get out and do something, but it is defined completely differently than what I did in the past. I used to do much more strenuous exercise, but now it's not so much. At first that was disappointing. Now, though, I'm realizing that for my mental AND physical health, if I can can even do some upper body work with bands (my PT gave me something that will tone, strengthen, and build neuro pathways...bless that man) for 15 minutes I feel like I am more "me". Push through fatigue? I wouldn't suggest that. The brain, as its healing, takes more energy to heal than does a muscle or a bone and requires more energy when working overtime (which I feel it pretty much is ALL the time for us). We ARE allowed to redefine our lives right now within the context of where we are, so redefine what exercise is for you, on this day. You can only be the best YOU today that you can be. You don't have to be super athlete every single day. However, for the benefit of your physical and emotional health, some exercise every day is essential (within the context of your abilities).

There is a blessing in the experience, isn't there? In 2003 I had to have a Whipple Procedure to remove a precancerous tumor in my pancreas. Long story short but through a series of happenstances it was found and had it not been, I might not be here right now. The recovery was horrendous and long but I still consider it the worst and best thing that ever happened to me because it gave me a new appreciation for my health. I had just finished losing 100 pounds just prior to the discovery of Hank, the tumor. I really feel that that experience truly showed me, in a very real and emotional way, the blessing and gift of good health. It's a lot of why I've been so much more dedicated to my own health, and helping others regain their health. So I know that as I experience this, there is going to be more and more blessing revealed. we are blessed to be able to do more this week than we could last week, and maybe in a year this will be another best thing in my life. (I'm still in counting weeks as its almost ten weeks.)

I agree, Carl. Movies can give me a headache and it's never just the movie...it's get there early for a good seat, and then wait through the previews, finally the movie plus there and back. Today is kind of a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being an awesome day. It's not horrible, but my head keeps singing and I don't feel all the way together. I do feel good to bake, though. I have PT later today and I'd like to be able to do it. Tuesday he took one look and worked on my neck instead (when my head hurts I tend to get super tight muscles because of bracing against the pain). I was doing some PT at home, though. Balance is better today. Do you guys still get really light headed? I get it badly when I stand up and start walking without thinking. I hate to say I'm glad to hear how others are experiencing the same thing, but after seeing my neurosurgeon on Monday and her wondering why I'm not all better, I've been second guessing myself.

Welcome! You're going to live Win...and it's going to be AWESOME!

It's interesting reading back on this. I posted about a month ago and honestly, I am STILL having a hard time knowing what "overdoing it" is. Sandi, you are I are so alike. I'm SO on a roller coaster! Today I feel good so we walked to lunch and back, and I even jogged a little. Now my head hurts and I have a few "neuro" symptoms (spider-brain, but not bad). Yesterday I had such a bad headache I could hardly function from the afternoon on. We went to a movie and I intentionally closed my eyes to sleep during part of it. I just want a string of good days, or even "okay" days. What I'm getting is one great day a week, a few "meh" days, and at least one or two really lousy days. The thing is, on the good days I want to do it because (as I was explaining to my husband) if I don't take advantage of those days, but instead say "Must rest today so I feel good tomorrow" and then I have a good day tomorrow but didn't do anything enjoyable beyond watching TV or reading a book either day...what the heck is the point? I'd rather have a fun day even if I pay for it the next day. It's Spring break so at least all I have to worry about is just day to day hanging out with my husband, making a meal or two, and resting when I need to. Back to work next week!

Holy God, Carl! That is incredible! Perhaps the word "fatigue" would make more sense to them. I have a note from my doctor that I will continue to feel fatigue and headaches for three months (through the end of the school year) and my boss accepted it without problem. God forbid we wish ill will on anyone, but don't you wish you could just let them feel how you feel for a week? Then there would be no question.

My PT (who has worked with neuro patients for years) told me he's never worked with a patient after a brain injury that didn't cry a lot. That's normal and it won't last long. I really thought I was going off my rocker the first few weeks because of the first few weeks. I've read that since then, so don't feel bad about it. I've also read that often we suffer from PTSD and when I first read that I thought "That makes NO sense!" but since getting out of the hospital six weeks ago I can say that yes, that seems to be par for the course. The sinus infection might just be a coincidence, but it sure isn't helping things! The sinuses are completely separate from the brain. It sure wouldn't hurt to ask, though!

Definitely! This is the place to go when you feel like you're burdening others with your whining. You're not, of course, but sometimes they feel helpless. So sorry you're dealing with all of this.

I get mine at the back of my head and yes, it's vice-like. Since SAH day I've had only two days with no headache.

I'm sorry Alison, that you have to deal with this. It's got to be so hard to watch someone you love with so much dysfunction, even if you know it's going to be better at some point. Is there anyone who can help? Someone in his life who could talk to him (or come and "steal" the bike, thus ending the discussion). Hey, that might not be a bad idea. I understand his desire, although my dysfunction isn't near what his is. I can't imagine getting on a bike, though. Bless you and reach out as you need to. People want to help,so let them them.

That is so encouraging, Jelly! Thank you! My goal this year was to run a 100 miler and a half IM (have done one before) with a goal of a full next year. A friend used the analogy with me that this is like the first mile of a 100 mile race and they (my friends) are all my support crew. They can't run it for me, but they can be with me and help as needed. She didn't know I had that goal, so it was very apropos. I'm having another challenging week. Monday, again, just an amazing day. I worked; no pain, no brain crawl, felt great. Came home and napped, even though I didn't feel too bad. Went to bootcamp and monitored showing a few exercises, but other than that did maybe 1/4 of what everyone else did. (I walked about 2 miles total, but I've done that before and I had the walker.) Today same thing happened. I guess I keep toning it down until I find the sweet spot and add slowly. Hard because I am contracted to teach these classes, and even my husband agreed that I did take it very easy. Honestly, I know what I need. I need downtime. I need to not be working 40 hours a week. Can't change that. We have a vacation planned next week and I'm seriously considering canceling because it would mean plane travel (I still get bad bad headaches), and a lot of activity and I feel I'd be better served with a quiet week at home. Then it's ten weeks to the end of the year.