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Hi to all,

Thought that I ought to start a new discussion, as Karen's Update is getting a bit big!

Well, I'm not sure how my day is going to go, as I had an awful nights sleep and kept waking up every hour or so, wide awake......also hungry!

So goodness knows what was going on. Will probably have to take a nap later.

Anyway, will look in later on and see how you guys are doing.

Take care and hope the day is a good one,

Karen x :D

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Hi All

I'm sort of worried about going to the self help group - I daren't face the prospect of what could have been if you know what I mean. I don't really want to go down the anti-dep road but I'm not totally opposed to it - they helped save my best friend's life. Maybe you're right about the doing too much thing - yesterday was a pretty big day for me really.

I've been reading up on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and am thinking of giving that some research. My thoughts influence my feelings type therapy - if I can go to sleep not being worried about waking up with those feelings then maybe I won't wake up with them.

I'm not sleeping brilliantly anyway so we've decided that I'm going to try some nytol tablets to see if they help - cos I know that when I do sleep well then I feel generally better.

Cheers Sami xxx

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Karen

have just had a call from my Doctor as I needed to know how long to refrain from driving (apparently 1 month - which means in 4 days time I can drive again!!!). Anyway I asked him if I should be able to feel the anuerysm and coiling - he said NO! What we can feel is the scar apparently just like a graze it has scabbed over but it still feels delicate to the touch - apparently the scar tissue feels this way too!!

Anyway I'm off to let the DVLA know that I've only had to refrain from driving for one month!

Take care all

Sami xxxx

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Sami-Go to the group.you will be fine and you will talk to like minded people!!!

It sounds hard but it will take time to really face up to the reality of what has actually happened...anyway..you can't change it and it is in the past!!

Try not to dwell on it..but if you feel real low persistently..see your GP.

I remember now ..you mentioning the scar tissue-I was told that could be where I was feeling a weird pain.

I still think you are trying to do a lot too soon!!!!

Sorry if a I am getting on at you.

I hope the booklet helped!

I went to see someone for Cognitive Therapy...bloomin expensive..but it

did get me back to work..too soon.

I wonder if the specialist nurses can point you in the right direction.

Like your photos by the way..I think it is great to know who we are chatting to!

hANG ON IN THERE

Andy P

x

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Hi Sami,

Sorry you're feeling a bit down today. I never went to a support group, as couldn't face the car journey, especially in the evenings when I felt just too tired to do anything. If the group had been closer to home, then I would have, but probably not until I'd reached the 3 month recovery stage.

After my SAH, I didn't really want to talk about my experience much, I wasn't in denial of it, I just wanted to get my life back to normal and felt lucky to be alive. It was only at the 6 month stage that I realised my recovery wasn't going to be as fast as I first thought, so I joined an online support group, run by Salford and Southampton Neuro.

It helped me a lot, just listening to other peoples experiences.....at least I wasn't going nuts......other people were experiencing the same or worse. At this stage I also realised that I wouldn't be able to return to work. Things started to hit home and I had to face reality, that I was looking at a recovery period of 18 - 24 months. Not a good time for me and I really didn't think that I would get beyond the 12 months with my sanity intact....but time started to go faster and I gradually accepted my limitations, as the more I fought them, the more frustrated and angrier I would become. I would have days where I just cried, not in self pity, but pure frustration. The family got used to me taking myself off to the bedroom and bawling my eyes out. I used to feel much better for releasing my feelings. These feelings have got less and less with the passage of time. I still have the odd day when I get like it now.

I know that Andy P found a support group very helpful to his recovery, but I can understand why you're a bit apprehensive. I suppose that you could give it a try, if you're not comfortable with things or don't feel up to it, you can walk away and return when the time is right. When are you going?

Sleeping and rest is definetly a key player, if you are over doing things then you will notice that it does tire you easily and your mood will lower. It seems to be the brains way of making you slow down and rest up. May be, you will have to do things in what I call "bite size" pieces for a bit and then gradually increase once your stamina has improved. It's quite normal to feel like this after the SAH, so don't be hard on yourself if you have to give into it.

You are right in what you say about sleeping and going to bed without worries. It definetly does help your mood in the morning. Most nights I tend to read before going to bed, something light hearted or funny. One of my favourite books was from the series "grumpy old woman".....it was good to be able to laugh before I shut my eyes and it really helped my mood the next day. Sounds ridiculous I know! What about meditation CD's or something soothing that you could listen to?

Anyway, must go and hope you're feeling a little better.

Love Karen x

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Hi Andy/Karen

Yeah I know I'm doing too much and you're not getting on at me. I need to be able to keep focused to get past what has happened. I'm not planning on driving again just yet even though I can. Maybe this is why I feel so confused because I'm making/made such a good recovery.

Karen, I live in Nottingham by the way and we're pretty suburban rather than urban but the ducks like the back garden and they're a welcome distraction to watch. Siobhan loves them to bits and at the moment if she's happy then so am I.

As for specialist nurses - who are they and when am I supposed to meet them? I've not even had a follow up appointment yet.

I'm hanging on and I know that I have to be strong its just sometimes I feel too tired to even try.

Anyway off for a rest now

Sami xxx

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Hi Sami and Andy,

We must have been all posting at the same time! I'm skiving and still haven't finished the cleaning......so I'm shutting this down in a sec!!!

Good news Sami, about your driving licence......I lost mine for 3 months, but didn't feel able to drive until 4 months. Still it's such a good feeling just to know that you can!

Love the idea of having ducks in the back garden......I'm sure the dog and cat would also, but not for the same reasons! Do you have a digi camera to take any pics of them, as would love to see them!

Andy, are you taking a day off? Hopefully, your not ill.....so hope your day is good.

Take it easy,

K x :D

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Just a quickie! I forgot to say, that after the DVLA said that I could drive again, we also had to let our motor insurance company know that I'd had the SAH......the premium remained the same, so that was okay, it just had to be put on the records etc.

K x

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Hi Karen and Andy

 

Have just been out for a walk with my hubby and am feeling more upbeat now. just have to keep reminding myself that after all I've been through I'm lucky to be where I am right now and that I'll be a better person for it.

 

The ducks are lovely - although one is lame but apparently its common in these ducks. As we're motoGP fans they're called Vale (Valentino Rossi) and Dani (Dani Pedrosa). Have tried to up load a pic of them and Paul (hubby) building their home!

 

Yeah the DVLA told me that they were sending me a questionnaire anyway and that I have to let my insurance company know.

I'll try going to bed in a better frame of mind tonight and maybe read a chic flick type book before - something dizzy and romantic!!! Might make me feel better than the Stephen King novel I'm living in at the mo!!!

 

Off for a rest now though - keep my energy levels good then I can feel emotionally strong!!

Catch you in a while

 

Yeah Andy hope all is well with you.

 

Sami xxx

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Hi Sami,

thanks for the pics....the ducks are sooo sweet!

Glad you're feeling a bit more upbeat......no two hours out of the day are the same some days........sometimes a walk is good, even though making the effort can seem hard.

 

It's been a really warm and humid day down here......but now it's looking really stormy and it's windy. So, wondering if we are going to get the bad weather forecasted.

Just finished cleaning the house.............jobs that used to take me a couple of hours, now seem to take forever.....but at least it's done!

Looking forward to my glass of wine later.......it's the only thing that makes me feel relaxed now! :D

 

Anyway, speak soon,

K x

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Hi Karen

Glad you like the ducks - they do make me smile especially when I see Siobhan with them and they follow her around.

I've just woken up from a nice two hour sleep, am now going to pack up all my things and go and pick Siobhan up from my parents house. They collect her everyday from school and take her back to their house on the opposite site of Nottingham - we live North Notts and they live South. Have bought her some clothes and shoes today so she'll be happy.

 

We'll get home and let the ducks out and then go to the leisure centre with Paul, while he football trains I'll lay in the car while Siobhan reads to me - bless her. Then it'll be into the bar for a drink to help me relax!!!

 

I'm going to try the positive thinking before going to be and reading something cheerful - so I'll report in the morning as to how I feel. Just keep with the mantra - I am alive and well and its all in the past.!!

Good night everyone

 

Lots of love

Sami xxx (and the ducks!) :lol:

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Hi Sami,

You are doing so well...............a lot better than me and I'm way in front of you! So, just remember that!! :D

If you have a bad day......just write it off! Hope that your bedtime is better this evening.....nothing wrong in a bit of chick lit.......but Stephen King.....even though I love his books.....probably not such a good idea!!

Take good care of yourself and sweet dreams!

K x :D

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Hi All

Had a good evening with friends and a couple of pints. Feel ready to go to my friends wedding this evening.

I think part of the emotional turmoil is not understanding why I feel down sometimes and why I'm putting so much emphasis on what mood I wake up in instead of being grateful for waking up. My headaches are now the sort that feel as though my ears need to pop and that sensation you get just before you faint. I think once I stop waking with headaches I'll feel better emotinally too.

 

Am dreading tomorrow as last Saturday was such a horrible day for me. Any tips on how to keep positive and not let the depression get the better of me?

Talk later, take care

Sami xxx

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Hi Sami,

Glad that you had a good evening last night!

Waking up with headaches each day isn't fun is it? I still have quite a few days where I can wake up with them and I think this drags your mood down to start with. I always make sure that I take a painkiller before I get out a bed and rest up for another half an hour, if it's a bit of a boomer!

 

Your headaches should hopefully start to ease.....but I was always plagued with the waking up ones. I can't seem to lie completely flat anymore and find that if I prop myself up with pillows I don't wake up with the pressure feeling in my head. The best thing my Hubbie ever bought me, was one of those V shaped pillows, they're so comfy and you can kind of mould them around you and they will support you well.

 

Re: depression - I think that tiredness/overdoing things is linked to the depression side of a SAH. If you're out tonight, don't overdo it and if you start to feel tired, then go home and go to sleep. Don't feel that you'll be letting anybody down by having to go early. I was very sensitive to noise after the SAH and even though I used to love a disco, I just couldn't stay in the same room. Physically, it made me feel ill and mentally, I found that I couldn't think. I just knew that I had to get away from the noise.

 

Try not to associate tomorrow with your feelings of last Saturday.....as it might make you feel anxious and that in itself will cause you to feel stress. There's no real reason why tomorrow isn't going to be a good day for you........just try to find a balanced combination of rest and play......keep on top of the tiredness and hopefully you won't feel so down.

 

Anyway, I must get myself up and showered................I'm having yet another lie in, as didn't sleep too well again last night......and like yourself I have woken up with a headache!

Speak to you later,

Love K x

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Hi Karen

Thanks for the advice. I've just woken from a sleep in the office and find that a weird thing has happened. I have woken without anxiety and felt like my mind had been cleansed rather like a car windscreen. For the first time in weeks I feel elated and erm...normal!!! I'm not pinning my hopes on this feeling staying but for as long as it does I'm gonna hold onto it and it proves you all right - the more rest you get the better you feel for it.

 

Thanks for the advice for tomorrow - will take that home with me and definitely use it. Can get a lie in tomorrow and take the pain killer if needed.

I'm off to make a coffee now to have with an M&S pains au chocolat that Paul bought us for this morning. :wink:

Any word from Andy by the way?

 

Take care, speak later

Love Sami xx

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Hi Sami,

Enjoy your pain au chocolat and coffee break! I used to absolutely love my filter coffee.....but can't drink it now, as it gives me a booming headache.............so have to drink yukky de-caff! It's just not the same!

 

Glad that you're feeling on tops of things.....so enjoy! Like I say, no two hours out of the day are the same for quite a while whilst you recover......but you do sort of get used to the "ups" and "downs", it's just learning to re-adjust to what your body tells you to do.

Not heard anything from Andy P.......I had a private message from Andy H though today......he's busy looking after Heather and hasn't had much time to spend on the board.

 

Going to dye my hair now...........I should have done it weeks ago, but didn't feel up to it.................but it's going so grey......must be all the worry of the last year etc!! Anyway, hopefully I shall feel better when I look in the mirror later!!

Speak to you later,

K x :D

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Hi Karen

My hair will need sorting soon too - can't dye it properly as I am allergic to PPDs so I use Sun-IN in mine to make it blonder.

I'm lucky really as I can still drink normal coffee without getting a headache - I find that my head hurts if I don't drink the right amount of water though!

I'm learning to listen to my body and rest when it tells me to and not do something if I'm not sure I can cope. Like at the moment I'm in good mode and feel like going shopping but don't know if I'm up to that on my own yet. Maybe later this afternoon when the lunch hour rush is over - and I need to rest up before going to my friends wedding reception too.

 

Catch you later when you've finished pampering!!! :lol:

Love Sami xxx

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Hi to both-I am getting a quick note from work..I did one to you yesterday and don't know what I pressed but i lost it all!!!

I think it would be good to have a "chat" on this site sometime -all 3 of us!

Anyone up for it any proposed day/time-7pm is always good but will leave to you to come back.

 

The specialist nurses I referred to were those who ran the SAH support group at Southampton-I assumed that Nottingham was similar??the old boy who has lived with my mum died yesterday so things have been a bit all over the place-He was 94 mum is 70..

 

I know sami you feel that the nearth death bit is a bit taboo...but hey it is in the past now..you have a future...you have a second chance..well that is what it felt like to me.

I never do like dwelling on death but we will have to face it eventually..for me though I found this whole thing challenged my spiritual side and at times I can see a greater purpose in life....

 

Anyway enough of that..i know it is really difficult..but you Sami are at such an early stage..and doing brill!!

How were the 43 pages ??Helpful?

 

Karen/Sami..I think we have all touched on the depression issue..we are all different ..I know you can't just magic up a feel good situation..but do promise me you will see your GP if you feel you can't cope?

 

Re the Cognitive stuff -I had that counselling (£60/hr) got me back to work..but too soon!!!!

I think at the time we want all back to normal asap...it is understandable but time is the greatest healer.

 

Must go as I am off to a meeting in Netley..will get back to you tonight!!

All the best

Andy P

xx

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Hi Sami/Andy,

Just finished dyeing my hair......it looks a lot better and the grey has been banished for a few weeks at least!.....but it's got a lot thinner since the coiling.....but at least I can take the paper bag off my head now!! :lol: I used to use Sun In just to add some more highlights, but haven't used it in a while......but might pick some up, just to lift the fringe.

 

Andy - So sorry to hear about your Mum's loss. Thought that you might have been taking the day off yesterday. £60 p/h for counselling.....I definetly chose the wrong profession to be in when I was working.......blimey, you would need even more therapy after coming to terms with paying the bill!! But, I suppose if it helps to get you sorted out and if you can afford to pay, then it's worth it.

 

Doing the chat room at 7pm is fine with me....... I can do Sunday or next Tuesday....as these are quieter nights for me and there won't be anybody hogging the laptop.

 

Re: depression - will definetly ask the Doc next week, if he can may be prescribe something very low dose........don't really want to take anything with a mountain of side effects......you cure one thing and gain a whole host of other problems........don't think that I have the energy to keep struggling with everything at this stage. Well, we'll see what he says.

 

I don't really need any counselling, as I've come to terms with what has happened to me and feel okay about it. It's just the anxiety/stress caused by the dizziness/eyesight that affects my balance that's my main problem. I need to feel calmer about not being in total control of my body any more, especially when I'm out in public. The only time I feel calm, is after having a glass of wine............then I don't care quite so much! Anyway, I always try to remain hopeful that there's something that can help me!

 

Must go........speak to you both soon,

K x :)

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Hi Guys

I can do the Tuesday night but prob won't get on til about half seven. Sunday night we're taking 18 year old daughter (Paul's) for meal as its her birthday. Will need reminding if we decide on Tuesday too.

 

Feeling better today - not woke up with the anxiety thing today so that has put me in a more positive frame of mind.

I haven't seen or heard from any specialist nurses in Nottingham Andy, maybe I'll get info or contact with my first follow up appointment.

I definitely look at things in a different light now - I don't stress the small stuff and realise that theres more to life than making sure the house is tidy and caring about what people think about me - so long as my family and friends love and care for me thats all that matters.

 

I feel very lucky that my recovery is going so well and I haven't had any complications - today I feel as normal as I did before the SAH and I am going to revel in it.

The 43 pages was very informative Andy and some info helped not only put my mind at rest but my husband's and daughter's too so thank you very very much in deed.

I've bought books on the cognitive thinking rather than gone for the therapy thing - cheaper and take it at my own pace that way.

 

Anyway, I'm diverting my sympathy from myself to poor Richard Hammond and rooting for him to recover - if we can do it he can!!!

Off for more coffee now and a sandwhich I think.

Catch you all later

Sami xxx

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Hiya,

Tuesday will be good for me too, so if we say about 7.30pm......Andy P- is that okay with you? Perhaps, Andy can remind us both......as one thing that has definetly suffered is my short term memory! Will write it down on the calendar later :lol:

Andy Howland - if you're about, then come and join us? :wink:

 

Just started cooking...so very organised tonight, which makes a pleasant change!

 

Sami - Hope tonight is a good one......don't overdo things though...........and you're doing really well! Have a boogie (God, I sound so old!) for me.............aah! wish I was coming!!!

 

Speak soon,

K x :D

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Hi all

Tuesday 7.30 sounds good to me. I take it I just click on the chat room link and it'll take me straight in.

Will have a boogie for you Karen and I promise I won't over do it.

Will be good to talk directly - as it were.

Speak soon

Sami xx

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Hi Sami,

Yep, just click on the chat room and enter your name, so we know it's you and hopefully all will be okay. Have only used the chat room once with Andy P, so just hope it works okay! (It's all a bit experiemental at the mo!)

Have a great evening and have a good dance..............great for the spirit! Just don't get out of bed too early tomorrow!

Take care,

K x :D

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Hi Karen

I'll be staying in bed for as long as possible tomorrow don't worry about that.

I'll try and log on over the weekend as I didn't last weekend.

I'm off now to get ready so I'll try and catchup over the weekend - if not then I'll chat Monday.

Everyone have a good weekend and take care

love Sami

xxxx

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OK-Tuesday at 1930 then..look forward to it!

Mum appears ok at the mo!

Yep-I could have got a lot of books for £60 a throw!!!!! Damn!

Glad the booklet helped..yes it is important to help family and friends too!!!After all they are going through a difficult time with us!

 

Karen-i had a low dose of Doselupin..but it depends on what sort of depression you have....Anyway you may feel better by then?

By the way I recently had a call at work re a flooded shop-I had no shortage of volunteers to take out sand bags..it was a sex shop!!!!

 

All the best you two

definitely chat on tuesday..PS Karen I don't want the pathetic icon!!!!

Andy P

xx

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