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When the dust starts to settle

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It's been just over two months since my PMSAH.  My neuro said the cause is a mystery but that I'm in The best case scenario under the PMSAH bucket, and life would be normal within 4-6 weeks.


Well, what a bunch of rubbish!


Two months may not seem like a long time, but it has felt like years. Recently, the reality of what happened has finally hit me and i can't stop myself from being emotional everyday. I've never cried so much in my life! Whenever i feel pressure in my head, I panick. My head wont stop ringing and it;s been almost two straight months without improvement. In fact, it seems to get worse. I've got a few sounds rattling around with me at all times and I can never relax. Made the mistake of blowing my nose too hard and popping my ears, and the sounds actually got louder and never went back down! 


I'm holding onto my doctor's reassurance that the ringing will stop -- "you are young, and this is normal -- brain injuries and ringing in the ears go hand-in-hand". I wonder if the bleed caused a loss in my hearing but my audiogram was normal.


Just in need of some positivity right now. I feel like such a drain on my family and my partner for how emotional I've been. It's not easy on them, either. Normally, I'm the one who has life together, but I've been the biggest mess and i don't know yet how to take back control of my life.


I'm supposed to return to work next month and right now, that seems like the last possible thing I have the energy to do.


grateful to have a site like this for support, and to read the stories of others who have overcome their own challenges. I hope to be part of that group soon.





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4 to 6 weeks is such a bunch of rubbish!


My heart goes out to you. I can tell you, for me, the last two weeks, #9 and #10, I have noticed improvement. It gives me hope. 


Hang in there. Everyone is different, but we will get better. Take care of you! And don't feel guilty about taking the time you need to heal. ❤

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I think allowing your family to read some of the threads on here may give them some understanding of what you have been through.  There appears to be no such thing as an easy brain injury. 


Recovery time - even when you make a good one, is notoriously slow in happening.  It takes a long time and improvements are slow and happen in their own time, not the one you want them to.! 


The change happened to you suddenly whereas under normal circumstances, it happens over a period of time and you adjust to it as it happens.  In this case, though  the changes have happened abruptly and caught you unawares and you are having to deal with them whether you like it or not. Change has happened and you can't turn back the clock.  But you can shape your future.


That is what is making you emotional and I think we've all gone through that to a greater or lesser degree, so don't beat yourself up about it.  It's natural and you are on your own individual journey. All we can do is try to prepare you for some of the things that happen along the way.


So try and dry your eyes, take one thing at a time, slow down and do things in your own time.  Some things will come back to you, others may come partially and others won't come at all, but what happens then is that you become creative and find another way of doing them.


Do things now for yourself, not others.  let them look after you for a while.  You've earned the right to get better, you survived.  Let others give you that chance and you just concentrate on getting better and recognise new or different opportunities when they come your way.


Good luck.

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Such wise words from Macca! I think as he says that some of the problem lies in the fact that it is a sudden change, and a huge change. I am 3  years down the line and still trying to accept the new normal. I've had several job changes each throwing me new challenges which probably in hindsight I could have done without.


Each job change brings new learning which I struggle with now. Please don't rush back to work, take your time and do it gradually. Hopefully you will have a sympathetic employer and if so take full advantage of what they can offer in support.


I wish you all the best, please don't think you are abnormal in your recovery,  - what you are experiencing is normal, just take your time.


Clare xx


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