My first ever forum - Mum of five

[Mum of five]

Hi I'm new to all this (not that you would ever know!) I'm a forty two year old mum of five beautiful boys, who like the other members of this most exclusive club had my world turned upside down last December. I suffered a SAH whilst at work which was misdiagnosed for nearly five days ( I was told I had sinusitis despite displaying classic signs of a haemorrhage the first time and informed that although I couldn't walk, open my eyes etc and was slipping in and out of consciousness that it was a virus the second time) but I finally accessed the right people, my bleed was from a large irregular shaped aneurysm which unfortunately affected both of my frontal lobes. I spent the whole of Christmas in hospital only seeing my children twice which was very hard.

I am a bit of a stubborn old mule so don't really do resting or taking it easy even now I still think i can keep going at the same pace but as I suspect you can all guess ........I can't. This I find extremely frustrating although I know I have to accept the " new " me I worry that if I do I will never get it back. I'm not angry, frustrated, bitter or even excessively emotional I think I'm just numb.........

I suffer from the usual exhaustion, balance and co ordination issues, my fine motor skills have deserted me like tying laces or doing the zips on my little ones coat, I have zero memory sometimes asking the same question three of four times as I can't remember a) asking it or the answer and I get severe shakes/ shut down when my brain can't cope. In short I'm a walking (sometimes even that's wonky) advert for Branson - my brain is pickled

The only thing that keeps me smiling is my " boys " husband included they make me laugh, often at my expense, my twelve year old even gave me a blank sheet of paper with PTO written on both side to see how long it would keep me amused but I've found the best medicine is laughter or I'd sink and that for me is not an option!!!!!!!

Edited April 25, 2014 by Tina
Added name to title :)

[Daffodil]

Hiya mum of five! Well what a forum to join eh? I'm sure we would have picked an easier one given choice!

Never mind we are a pretty good bunch and I hope you are doing ok four months on but it sounds like you are fighting the ' changes' that our SAH delivers to our lives , it seems we all do that without fail. Denial, frustration for what we have lost, acceptance of our new normal...but it will get better for you and it sounds like the kids are giving you laughs which is a great medicine.

I was 40 when I had mine, two daughters under 10 and remember the early days of just not being able to do....it has gradually come back, slowly and sometimes clears off again for a few days in some cases or when I have overdone it but two years on is less bumpy so you can look forward and smile and know that it will pass, it will.

Keep a positive diary, that helped me to celebrate when I could finally thread a needle, take a shower standing up or get more than 100 yards without falling over. Try to set yourself gentle but simple goals each day but also try and have a routine to what you do and don't exhaust your battery cells every day, hard with the kids but worth trying to conserve some of that energy for all the healing your brain is doing.

So take care. Glad you said hello

[Tina]

Hi Mum of five

A very warm welcome to BTG !

Wise words from Daff

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Take care xx

[Winb143]

Hi Mum of five

Welcome to BTG first off.

You have good and bad days so let's hope you have more good !!

Time is a great healer and we all have a long haul.

I was making a curry in 2009 when hubby came in with a nice bottle of pinot grigio, which never got drunk.

I passed out and my hubby dialled for ambulance.

Move to 2010 as I remember hardly anything before, shunt fitted as I had hydrocephalus and the lights came on.

My daughter gripped my arm and said "Welcome home Mum" we both sobbed and laughed.

Keep strong and happy it really does helps xx Oh and as I tell all, No Stress whatsoever(my surgeon told me this)

Good luck Mum

Love

WinB143 xx

[Mum of five]

Thank you all for your welcoming words they are greatly appreciated. somedays are truly wonderful as I feel alive again but others are not. I know that I am so very lucky to still be here and to fully appreciate the good days the bad ones have to be endured.

I will embrace my new me eventually, i have no choice, but first I need to grieve for the old me and that takes acceptance. So when I really look at this I see what a long journey I have but I'm not ready to embark on it just yet, it's buried away in the back of my mind. Like i said previously i feel nothing, I haven't even cried since this happened which probably gives people the biggest insight into where I'm at or not as the case may be. I'll get there one day

I'm sorry if I sound very anti everything and exceptionally rude/unappreciative I'm not its just if I think about it it becomes real.........

Thank you again

[momo]

Welcome Mum of Five. I hope you find this site useful a lot of information here which will help you along the way. I couldn't use the computer until about a year and a half after my bleed but looking back I think it would have really helped me if I had know then what I know now. I remember very little about my first year post SAH.

I would advice finding out as much as you can about what happened to you and ask ask many questions as you want. It helps so much with recovery.

I would also recommend that you talk to someone about how you feel etc..I was referred to a psychologist and she helped me enormously. I cried through every session mind you but this was a turning point for me as I had kept all of the grief/anger to myself and it was holding me back.

You are still very early in recovery and its good you recognise this but recover we do, all at different rates etc so you will get there try not to be disheartened.

My husband has been my rock through out all of this and he knows exactly when I need to rest etc I'm not able to judge this myself.

Wishing you well,