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Highs N lows

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Hey there


Its my turn today to have a lousy one I think, been up a lot in the night, even now I still have bad days I should be at college today but when my heads the way it is I don’t much fancy a half hour on the bus there & back & the inconsiderate students which I have learned to cope with-but not when I don’t feel like it.

Yep even although I have 6 years under my belt I still have basically ugh!!! Days.

Though I don’t want people to be put off by this & think my god because I have come so far its been the kind of Brain Haemorrhage damage that I’ve had, after the haemorrhage I got viral meningitis & that done its own damage too, so please, please don’t think that for U its going to be the same in 6 years it wont we are all different, unique. :D

I have changed 80% disabled to more than 80% able, but after 6 years people get fed up with hearing the same old thing so they no longer ask how I am or if they do I have got into the habit of saying fine/so-so.

I found that people didn’t know what to say to me in those early days, my then Sister-in-law (she got divorced) said when she came into visit me I was unconscious & my Dad was there she stood at the bottom of the bed & said “they can do a lot for people like that these days†I still shiver at her use of words. :evil:

I believe it was the one & only time my cousin had seen my Dad react the way he did, it was a long, long time after that my cousin told me about it & only because I asked why Dad had taken such a dislike to my sister-in-law she wouldn’t tell me but I forced it from her.

That’s what gave me the strength to change that percentage around she’d put me into the category of ‘these people’ “being different†I was going to prove her wrong.

I’m pleased to say I did prove her very wrong.

I don’t know if its just me or if people do change when something like this happens, I don’t see much of my family at all now you’d never guess what happened to me I get Christmas cards asking if I’m well I gave up phoning I feel very bitter about this but there’s no point in feeling bitter doesn’t help I find getting on with it & proving them I can & will is far better way.

Sorry for the ramble as I said I’m good at that on this, also a couple of Anniversaries coming up that I don’t much like & it’s a rotten day which is more than likely to do with it.


Take care

Louise the rambler

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Hi Louise the Rambler!

This site is here for people to see a wide spectrum of experiences, including your own. It's good that you're so honest about it all and the many people that have read your story will thank their lucky stars and will be inspired by it. I know that I've been inspired by people like yourself that have struggled against the odds. When I've had a down day and can't be bothered to fight it, it's stories like yours that give me a kick up the bum.

So you just tell it how it is and don't apologise for doing so .... most people post SAH should realise that recovery is very much an individual thing ... we all vary as to the amount of damage that's been caused and we are all unique human beings.....some handle things better and have a better coping mechanism..... others struggle.

You've proved against the odds that you don't have to be a statistic and that you can sometimes open a "different door" you're a gutsy lady Louise and unfortunately there will always be ignorant people......it just makes it worse when they happen to be family.

I know what you mean about people asking how you are ...... I just say "not too bad, thanks" ..... I think that some people ask you, because they feel that they have to and not because they're really interested. Some are though and you normally know who those people are, that have genuine concern for you.

Sorry that you're having a lousy day though ....... but you are allowed to have the odd miserable day, especially if you've got things on your mind......you can't always be bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I hope that you're taking it easy and putting your feet up.

Speak to you later ..... I'm off to search for some chocolate in a minute!

Lots of love K x :)

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Hello Ladies

I've just finished my chocolate Karen!!

Hey Louise - when I'm having a lousy day I just tell myself that I had them before the SAH so why shouldn't I have them now. The world carries on spinnng and the seasons change - we are the only ones that feel different. Don't be so hard on yourself and do what you are doing - which is essentially listening to what yuor body and mind are telling you you can and can't cope with.

As for family they can be daft - my brother rang me two weeks ago to ask if i could help his daughter with her business studies! Paul was furious - I just told my brother that I couldn't help make a cup of coffee at the moment and probably couldn't help her until after Christmas.

I'm only 6 1/2 weeks into recovery and physically I'm fine but mentally I'm a mess some days. I still get tired though the headaches are lessening more and more each day. But i know the more good days I have means the less bad days theres been. And then the bad days don't seem so scary and bad cos I know I can get through them. Taking each day at a time is very sound advice. I also do what Karen does and try to have at least one sports isotonic drink day - great for energy and liquid replacement at the same time.

So we have Louise the Rambler, Karen the Foosterer and Sami the tattooed Granny!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

Have a good afternoon ladies, I'm now off for my afternoon nap.

Lots of love

Sami xxxx

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Nope you can’t be bright-eye-&-bushy-tailed all the time it gets boring just doing a lot of nothing today.

Chocolate sounds good today it’s raining here now my tube doesn’t like this kind of dull weather, so it’s a double choc kick a mug of hot chocolate & biscuits to dunk in yummy!!! :)

I wasn’t really meaning to apologise I just wouldn’t like people getting the wrong idea that it’s all gloom & doom its not.

Your right though I do tend to tell it how it is which can be a flaw sometimes, it’s the part of the ‘New Louise’ I’ve never gotten used to.

Yes you do normally guess just whose interested & who’s asking because they feel they should.

Hey Sami

Tell me about families being daft, this same sister-in-law emailed me last week to ask if we’d been invited to Ronnie’s brothers wedding we don’t see any of Ron’s side of the family haven’t since before the Haemorrhage they had a big fall out so why would we be invited to his wedding she doesn’t think. :evil:

You seem to be doing pretty well for 6½ weeks I was still in hospital then didn’t know who I was, & I wouldn’t have been able to this at 6½ months either, you keep doing what you thinks right for you naps enjoy the good days one day at a time is the only way.

Sports drinks don’t do for me….

Well a nap sounds good I only have them when I feel ugh! & today that sounds a very good idea.

Bye for now….. :wink:

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Hi Ladies,

Very good Sami!

Re: "So we have Louise the Rambler, Karen the Foosterer and Sami the tattooed Granny!!!!! "

Sounds like we could be some sort of weird circus act? :cool:

Anyway, yes, I've been foostering around all morning ..... so nothing new there! My chocolate fix this morning is mini Jaffa Cakes ..... so me thinks I'm a bit tired today, when the jaffa's come out....I used to eat them (actually the whole pack :lol: ) when I was pregnant with Lauren, especially when I was tired ..... Lauren now loves them too....that's what comes of being overdosed by sugar when you're still in the womb!

Anyway, apart from feeling tired, I'm not doing too badly today .... Louise, have you tried the sports drinks......it does seem to help with the energy.......mind you girls, they do have quite a few calories in them....so I stick to one a day.....so that I can have some reserve calories for the chocolate! :wink:

Take care,

Lots of love,

K x

PS Louise - we must have been posting at the same time! Just came across your reply as I was submitting this one!

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Hi there

Yes that does sound like some sort of a ‘circus act’ doesn’t!!!! :lol:

Feeling a bit better today thankfully & what helps me too is the weather is a lot brighter for me.

Yes I did try the sports drinks but for me they weren’t too good my brain produces too much vitamins – seemly which is why some things really don’t agree with me. :cry:

I did have a yummy binge yesterday the down side was I couldn’t have a nap in the afternoon after all the chocolate however the up side to not having a nap meant I slept most of the night not all I very rarely do that.

We had a painter in last night giving us an estimate for doing the bedroom so although I’m really looking forward to it getting done (not been done for years & I mean years) my brain has a problem dealing with the up heavel, things being out of place its really a pest that part mostly because it doesn’t happen too often thankfully it a hard one to explain that, most people think I’m being crazy thankfully Ronnie doesn’t because he sees the changes in me when something like that happens.

Heck it’s the rambler starting again


Bye just now


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Hi Louise,

Glad that you're feeling better today :D It certainly helps if you've gotten a good sleep under your belt and seeing some sunshine out of the window.

I see what you mean about the sports drink and the vitamin problem...so no, it wouldnt't be a good combination for you.

I can understand what you mean about the upheaval of decorating etc. I used to be an avid DIY'er ..... but since I've had the SAH, I've gone to the opposite side and really can't be bothered with it!! There's quite a bit in the house now that needs to be done, but the bungalow that we live in is really tiny and it always causes problems as to where we put the furniture etc whilst it's being done. I think that it's going to be a while before you see me with a paint brush in my hand!

At the minute I'm trying to get the house clean......since Eric decided to have a dog 5 years ago, I think that it's tripled the cleaning. I do have a cat as well, but the cat doesn't make hardly any mess. I've got my Mum and Dad visiting today, so I have to make the effort and get the rubber gloves on......I wouldn't mind if it stayed looking clean for longer than five minutes.....but dog + fur + mud = ****** mess!! :lol:

Tumble drier has just decided to pack up ..... so more expense .... I could really do with having a job, but it's just not going to happen at this point in time. I just hope that nothing else is going to decide to break down!!

Anyway.....toilet cleaning time.....mmm... my favourite job!

Will be back later for a skive! :D

Love K x

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Afternoon ladies

Chocolate seems to be best at the moment. You know I lost a stone whilst in the hospital with my SAH and was a size 12 before I went in. i have taken great pleasure in not watching what I eat for the last 6 weeks and have put my stone back on again - but guess what - I'm a size ten and can get in a size 5 trainer where as I was a six before! How does that work then!!!

I napped yesterday and found that I didn't sleep as well last night although I'm not tired but I feel kind of more normal today.

I've planned a tidy-the-house-fest at the weekend. Paul is having to do everythig at the mo as I still get tired doing anything physical so I'll have to do as much as I can on Saturday and hopefully on Sunday we can make it for a full football match for Paul to manage. Then I can watch Rossi race in the afternoon!!!!

I got a letter last night when I got home from work - from the hospital. I called this morning and have my follow up appointment on 8th november at 2pm - so I will let you know how that goes.

Anyway -work calling again

Catch you later

Sami xxx

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Hi Girls,

Probably won't get much time on here today.....I'm paying for foostering around the last couple of days!

Sami, I also lost 1 stone after hospital ...... but have put it all back on ... mine is lack of being able to get out and about (+ chocolate + bacon sarnies = pig) ..... due to dizziness.....

Everything is breaking down at the minute ...... tumble drier ...... surround sound on tv is breaking up ...... Chris's car has just failed the mot big time ....... and I'm going now, to have a ****** nervous breakdown! :cry:

Will hopefully see you later ..... if not, will speak to you tomorrow..

lots of love,

K x

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Well I've just been out into the town to get Paul and I a sandwhich and even managed a little retail therapy in Dorothy Perkins - they had my favourite four letter word emblazoned across the window - SALE :P

Am now going to go and fooster a little myself whilst I eat and read my mags and do the crosswords.

Have fun now!!!

Love Sami xxx

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Hi there

Had to go shopping myself today too, the food kind the fridge was bare after my lazy day yesterday & truth be told Tuesday too.

I know what you mean about things packing up 3 years ago just before my cousin came over from Australia (last time) our Fridge Freezer packed up, the cooker wouldn’t work & the washing machine gave up all within weeks of each other I’m sure the Insurance Co. must have thought we were at it…. :roll:

I lots a lot of weight too when I was ill, (can’t remember how much now though) each afternoon my Dad would bring me some sort of chocolate bar I think he felt I needed it, & I didn’t like to disappoint him now did I….

Sami, I find that now when I nap in the afternoon I cant sleep very well at night but if I do nap in the afternoons its usually when I don’t feel very good, I reckon I had a nap each afternoon for a year or so!!! 8O

Ronnie used to have to do the washing, Ironing, & housework too, I remember when I thought I was able to manage by myself (ha), Ronnie was at work & I though yeh!! no problem: I hovered right through the flat, moving things as I went, this took most of the day, then I dusted one room, (we don’t have a massive flat but boy it seemed huge), poor Ronnie when he came home had to put it all back I was knackered for days, my lesson for that day was:

Do one room at a time, & if Ronnie wants to do it let him… :wink:

Bye for now


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I've not had a nap today want to see if it helps me sleep tonight. I can stop the heads with paracetomol but I don't like taking too many. I've never liked taking the things and when I was in hospital I was on 36 tablets a day!!!

Regarding the housework - I intend to do the living/dining room first, then if I have the energy I'll try the kitchen - around Paul doing the ironing!!!!

Anyway no rest for the :evil: hahahaha

Catch you tomorrow

have a good night

lots of love

Sami xxx

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Hi there

I hope that you had a good sleep last night Sami with not napping yesterday I found just sitting nodding was much better I was resting but not actually going too deep I have to say that has & is working for me.

Another man that does the ironing must tell Ronnie people think he’s strange that’s his Sunday morning job the ironing his suite, Jeans, Trousers & whatever I haven’t managed in the week he just gets something to watch on TV & he can iron for hours. :cool:

I do hope that you ladies had a better night than I did last night, I got a call from the Passport Office, they were doing a survey of people that had recently re-new/got passports unfortunately my name popped up on their screen as the person to survey…… :(

I cant remember what happened last week never mind 5 months ago, so when I realised she was getting annoyed I explained the Brain, short term memory, sorry I cant do this – & the like…..she just continued to wait for the answer to her question – she was in remote control Ronnie realised my panic & took the phone off me – thankfully its one of those things that I cant quite get to grips with is how people listen but don’t hear or hear but don’t listen I’m not sure what it is. :mad:

Anyway tube gave it what for after that Ah well just something else to chalk up to think I can & cant……………….. :cry:

Well all for now

Take care


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Hi Louise,

Must have been posting at the same time as you .... I started a new topic... "Friday 13th"....

Re: Passport - Some people seem to be on automatic pilot when they speak to you and I don't think that they are listening to what you say. I think that when you tell people that you have brain damage or a brain anything......they don't know how to react to it or you. Next time you have a call like it and they don't respond, just put the phone down on them and don't feel guilty for doing it. My short term memory is still pretty bad......I can remember stupid stuff from about 20 years ago......but ask me anything about last week, I'm hopeless, unless I have it written down somewhere and I can refer back.

My Doctor is great.....he knows what I'm like and when he's asking me to make appointments for blood tests, follow up's etc .... he writes it all down for me in list form........as he knows that my head is like a sieve and if it's not written down, I will forget as soon as I walk out of the room. Sometimes, I've even forgotten to pick up the list when I leave! :lol: He probably thinks that I'm a right dingbat! :lol:

Anyway, must go and do some work,

will be back later.

Love K x

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Morning All

Thanks Louise, I slept really quite well last night. I woke at ten past five and then managed togo straight back to sleep until the alarm at half past seven. I couldn't get over how foggy it was this morning though. The ducks were very reluctant to come out!!!!

Paul is like Ronnie - he'll find something to watch and, depending on how long between ironing marathons he's had, he can iron all day while I tidy up - its the weekend chores. I wash and dry clothes all week and then Paul will iron them on a Saturday while I tidy the house and then Sunday he plays football while I watch (I have friends there so i'm not completley sad!) and then to the pub where the landlord always puts some chips and sausages on for us and a couple of lagers.

I get sick of telesales in the evening anyway - its my rest time so I don't want disturbing - I just tell them that actually I was on my way out so I haven't got time!!!

Anyway off to the bank - another nice client has paid they're bill.

See you later

Sami xxxx

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