Sleep

[Skippy]

Hi

We put a buffet on New Years Eve and normally my friend Claire (in one of the pictures with me) comes over early with her partner and children and helps me. She loves my Feta Cheese Salad for some reason and insists that I do it - Paul loves my moussaka so i have to make that too. This year I think I'll do what you do Louise and let someone else take over.

Have another counselling session this afternoon although I'm feeling pretty good just lately. Feel a lot less anxious since watching the coiling video if I'm honest but there are times I still want to cry with disbelief about the whole thing. Case of I still can't believe that this has happened to me and angry at not knowing why! Oh well all things to get off my chest this afternoon I guess.

Talk later

Love Sami xx

[Louise]

Yep counselling session are good I think you talk to someone that's qualified.

Yes its hard getting your head around what has happened I know that only too well sometimes I still have a bubble about it all it get too much but hey the biggest hurdle has already been managed...........

Take care

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hi Ladies,

Today, I have the Mother of all headaches......it kicked off yesterday evening and it's still banging away. Probably something to do with my sleeping pattern.

Nice to hear about your Christmas arrangements ..... I love feta cheese...if I lived closer Sami, you might find an uninvited guest on your doorstep!

I shall take my gingko in a minute .... will let you know if it helps.

Away, now to do some work......hope that the counselling goes well Sami. It certainly helped me watching the coiling video and I feel a little easier with things.

Catch you all later,

Love K x

[Skippy]

Afternoon Ladies

Glad to know that I'm not the only who blubs like a baby still. And Karen you would be more than welcome on my doorstep. You setting up this site has done wonders for my recovery. I know that if I didn't have you guys then I'd be no where near as positive about things as I am now.

Get some rest and relax for a while Karen, see if that helps the headache.

I'm off for a bit of work before I go to see the counsellor.

Love me

xxxxxx

[Annie]

Hi Girls,

Sami, you are by NO MEANS the only blub! In fact I have been quite down lately about the whole thing myself. It's going to help me that there are others on this site that had the same type SAH as me. But I am frustrated that I still feel like I don't have my old self back. Haven't done the counselling thing yet. Just lots of cake.

xo,

Annie

[Karen]

Hi Ladies,

Annie - Like you say, it's good to see other people using this MB that have had the same type of bleed as yourself ... it must be a bit more comforting for you to know that you're not alone.

Thanks for your kind words about the site...just glad that it helps and having the feedback is really appreciated....makes it all worthwhile!

Having a really tired day....probably the worst fatigue that I've felt in weeks....may be the headache has been an indicator to take it easy today.

Still, I'm nearly 15 months on from the SAH and I can finally say that I'm at long last having more good days than bad, so I'm content with feeling a bit whacked out today.

Well, must go now and think about putting some dinner on!

Love to you all,

K x

[Louise]

Hi there

Been out got a lovely frame & a bottle of bubbly, so I'm shattered now it quite warm out & we walked home.

It took me a long time before I would accept that the (as I used to say it:)

'the old Louise was gone' I used to say things like the old Louise wouldnt do this, or that, the New Louise was so different.

When I accepted that that was my first step forward.

So your by no means alone believe me.

Karen hope the heads better sometimes when you over do it, its a way to tell you slow down, drink plenty liquid.

Take car

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hi Louise,

Glad that you got your pressie sorted....I'm sure that they will love it. Something else that you can tick off your list!

Ended up doing "toasties" for dinner tonight ...... just couldn't summon up the energy to do anything else!

Going to try to get an early night ..... hopefully, tomorrow will be slightly better than today!

Will speak to you tomorrow,

nite, Love K x

[Louise]

Hi Karen

Morning

Yep something else off the long list I seem to have given myself!!!!

How’s the head today? I hope your early night worked for you, I know there’s nothing worse.

But I do find that it’s the body’s way of saying chill out!!!

Although when you have more good days than bad I find you don’t want to miss out on them you want to do stuff, well that’s me anyway.

Beans on toast or toasties always a good idea when you don’t have energy for anything else I do that often especially if Ronnie’s out working.

Ronnie seems to work so hard I feel guilty about that but have to give my self a talking too.

Well it’s dull & horrible here, & after yesterday not in the mood but have to ah well…..

Bye for now

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hiya,

Well, I got a fairly early night, as my eye was giving me quite a bit of pain and I had some double vision .... so that's another indicator of the fatigue....it always rears its ugly head when my brain's had enough!

Still woke up at 4.00am though.....but it was tipping with rain, so may be that was the reason why.....got back off to sleep fairly quickly.....but woke up with a headache again.

Still, will try for an early night again and see what happens.

I'm not up to much today....apart from the usual boring stuff......Louise, you sound as though you're pretty tired today, doesn't help if the weather is a bit grey and gloomy. So hope that you're taking it easy.

Still, the parts have arrived for the tumble dryer, so Eric's hoping to get that fixed up for me at the weekend......the washing and drying of clothes seems to be taking a lot of my time up and I'm getting behind with it all!

Anyway, going to have a tidy up and will hopefully be able to put my feet up in front of the tv later on.

Catch you later,

Love K x

[Louise]

Hi there

I think it’s going to be the order of the TV & rest for both of us today its really dark now & the rains tipping down, I’ve got to go out too ugh but after that not doing much, except computer work.

Karen, I’m always tired now but when the weathers rotten my head, & tube are a nightmare still its just something that I moan about but get on with.

You’ll be glad when the dryers sorted that wont be helping your head even if you don’t feel stressed with it, your subconscious might.

Listen to me you’d think I’d be able to guess that when it’s me – & I don’t.

Well bye for now

Louise.x

[Skippy]

Morning Ladies

I had a good nights sleep again and didn't wake until 6.30 ish. The weather was realy bad here too at about half four this morning - Paul told me it was tipping down here too. It's not too bad now - partly blue and party grey cloudy sky so will have to cloud dodge at lunch time I think!!!

Had a good session with my counsellor, Rick, yesterday. He's under the impression that I'm suffering with PTSS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and I am inclined to agree with him and I'd said so toPaul a couple of weeks ago. Apparently PTSS takes about 3 months to get over as the mind adjusts to what has happened. He wants me to go and see him again on 22 November after I've had my follow up appointment to see how I'm feeling when I've got answers to my questions.

Anyway going to make a coffee now to drink with my Bounty!!!

Catch you later

Sami xx

[Karen]

Hiya,

Sami, glad that your counselling session went well. Pretty certain that I suffered from PTSS ... re: anxiety problems .... that's what the Doc thinks has caused it .....It's only in the last couple of months that I've felt some release and haven't had any "crying days". I wish that they would offer counselling to all SAH sufferers as par for the course .... there's probably a lot of people out there suffering from it and not realising... but have just been left to struggle and get on with life.

I've just eaten a bacon sarnie with tomato ketchup....with the dog looking at me whilst I ate it! Popping down to the local shop in a min, so I'm going to pick up a Bounty and eat that when I put my feet up later.

Louise, I was meant to ask you before about your tube......when you say it plays up......what does it make you feel like? I think that you're right about the stress last week.....don't think that it helps any....just have to hope that I will have more energy tomorrow.

It's a bit wild and windy down here today.....blue one minute, black the next. Anyway, off down to the shop, will catch you later.

Love K x

[Annie]

Wow, Karen, I would say more good days than bad is a significant milestone for you!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel?

What's a Bounty?

I had acupuncture yesterday for back pain, fatigue, and hormone issues. I do believe it helped right away. Looking forward to more sessions.

Please read my new post about Ginko, ok?

xo,

A

[Karen]

Hi Annie,

Thanks for the warning re: ginkgo....I also found out that info yesterday evening, when I was reading a book on natural alternatives + warnings.

I bruise easily and often burst blood vessels in my fingers.....so I haven't taken any more! The trouble is with the natural medicines, the manufacturers don't supply labels with any warnings or side effects. Not sure whether that's any different in the U.S. I've deleted the postings on the site for it......apart from your warning and my reply. Will stick to just taking my Vit B supplement, which is hopefully safe, as I haven't read anything to the contrary......unless anybody knows different!

Yes, I am starting to see a little beam of light at the end of the tunnel....even though I've had a couple of tired days.....but I can put up with those, if I know that I'm going to pick up again! But, yes, I'm feeling a little more positive....saying that.....I know that things can change so quickly, therefore I still stick to taking it a day at a time!

Well, a Bounty bar is chocolate or candy in your neck of the woods! It's a coconut bar wrapped with plain or milk chocolate.....it's one of Sami's favourites, so I bought one today for a treat and a choccy fix! It was lovely!

I've also wondered about acupuncture.....I saw a tv documentary on it, a couple of months back.....it was really interesting....I might have some treatment if conventional medicine can't help restore my balance. Let me know how it continues to go for you Annie.

Lots of love Kx

[Louise]

Afternoon

Just been out and lucky I just got back before the rain started again, its still really dark light going on early tonight I think.

Karen, it’s a difficult one that to explain my tube & I know I will ramble but:

As I may have said I have a shunt when I got meningitis the shunt didn’t really do the job so they put in a tube too, my brain produces too many vitamins it’s kind of like an overspill for the shunt.

It’s on my right hand side of the head (there’s probably a technical name for that!) it goes down my neck, down the side of my body & drains into my stomach then goes away (with the flow of nature oh joy sometimes) this is all inside me not on the outside by the way.

When I was in hospital I couldn’t figure out why I got a scar on my stomach with 6 staples & a scar on my head with 9 staples they said it was them pulling the tube through ugh!

But, when the weather is dull, overcast, humid this seems to be when I feel it, the best way to describe that is if you take a straw bend it then slowly let it go it flexes back into shape sometimes I can feel flexing a weird feeling.

Sometimes it kind of pulsates & flexes it’s just something that I’m not really go at explaining even with verbal words.

Sami

Glad to hear the session went well yesterday yes I've heard other people say that.

Havent had a bounty for years.

Take care

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hi Louise,

Ooh.... it must feel a bit weird having that inside you......hope that you didn't mind me asking you!! But it's interesting to know how it feels and you've explained it really well! I know that you have to put up with it, but it sounds very clever .... I've heard about the shunt, but not the tube. An ex- work colleague of mine, has a little girl that had a brain tumour and was eventually fitted with a shunt due to the pressure build up. But, yep, you've explained the tube well....so you're not as bad at describing stuff as you think!!

Well, I'm having a better afternoon than morning ..... which is good....just about to do something half decent for dinner tonight!

Well, have a good night and put your feet up,

Lots of Love K x

[Louise]

Hi Karen

No, I don’t mind at all you asking about it a lot of people I meet don’t ask then they wonder.

Thanks Karen I thought I'd rambled 'again'

Sometimes Ronnie will mention something that I’ve forgotten & we’ll talk about when I was in hospital its as if I’m hearing it for the first time even now, it reminds us both of what happened its part of who I am.

Glad to hear you’ve had a better afternoon, I’ve got dinner on for me chicken & pasta, Ronnie’s working tonight, he had dinner at work today so its bacon sanies whenever he gets home.

Have a relaxing evening

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hi Louise,

I'm probably a little more "blunter" since the SAH ..... so I'll probably ask about stuff that I wouldn't have before my SAH...... I've perhaps lost a few of my inhibitions.......which isn't a bad thing really! But, glad that you don't mind me asking!! So, thanks!

Well, Ronnie sounds like a lovely man!! Eric is working away again, back tomorrow.....so cooking sweet and sour chicken with rice, but your dinner sounds nice as well!! Nothing wrong with a bacon sarnie....sometimes I think that I could go vegetarian.....but the smell of bacon still does it for me!

Take it easy and have a good evening,

Love K xxxxxx

[Skippy]

Hi Karen

How do you cope so well with Eric away a lot? I hate it when Paul has to work late let alone go away. I remember before this ****** thing in my head happened, that when Paul had to travel to Germany or Belgium to see our clients that I hated him staying away overnight then so I know that I wouldn't cope now. You're a very brave and strong woman.

Sorry am a bit angry this afternoon. Realising more and more that there are things that I took for granted before that I just can't do anymore.

Cacth you later.

Sami xxx

[Louise]

Hi Sami

Never say you 'cant do anymore'

You cant do them at the moment it wont always be like that.

I hate when Ronnie's working late but there's nothing I can do about it someone's got to bring the pennies in eh!!

Tomorrow's another day.

Take care

Louise.x

[Karen]

Hi Sami,

Well, Eric has been going away for the past 18 years or so ..... I don't feel as though I've had much choice in the matter.....but I suppose that I've tried to keep it all on an even keel for the kids....they've never known any different. Sometimes, I quite like my own space (perhaps, I'm a bit sad!!).......depending on how I'm feeling......it is scarier since the SAH, but with time I'm getting used to it again. He's in the UK at the minute.....but actually forgot that he was going to be away today.....he only got back from N.Ireland last night.

I don't think that it helps relationship wise...I'm a very family orientated person.....I love my house.....my kids will always come first and I can't really understand people that don't think that way I suppose. Can't understand why people have a family and don't want to spend time with them or why they put their needs before their childrens.

Not sure that I'm any stronger than the next person, I know that the SAH has whipped a lot of my strength away, but I'm only now beginning to re-build it, but think that it's going to be a long haul!

Anyway, must go.......have a good night and will catch you tomorrow..

Lots of Love K xxxxx

[Skippy]

Hya

I'm with you on that one - my daughter's needs will always come first - after she didn't ask to be born it was a choice we made.

Paul works very hard and sometimes I think too hard but he's better than he was a few years ago.

Anyway - I'm off home now

Catch you tomorrow. Have a great evening

Sami xxx

[Louise]

Hi, Morning

Weather a bit better, so head a bit better.

I got a nice surprise last night, Ronnie was in at dinner time so I wasnt on my own which yesterday was nice.

He was in till about 9pm so that made me feel better with how I was yesterday.

Sami, I think Ronnie works too hard too, & I feel very guilty about that often, although he tells me not to.

I hated being on my own after this happened it was forever at the back of my mind but I've just had to get used to it, time is the best healer.

bye for now

Louise.x

[Karen]

Morning Ladies,

Weather is good here as well, after a foul night of wind and heavy rain.

Slept a bit better last night, but my body clock is still doing the 4.00am thing......but at least I didn't have to raid the biscuit tin!

Going to get out to the supermarket for a few bits in a minute. Might get my sewing machine out this afternoon and make a few bits and pieces....It's a toss up between that and the ironing.....ooh which one should I choose!!

Glad that Ronnie came back early for you Louise!

Catch you later,

Love K x