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husbands sah- Suzie


Suzie Williams
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Hello all,

My husband had a  SAH on New Year's day this year with no known cause. After 3 months he was released by the neurologist to return to normal activity including work. My husband is a maintenance mechanic at a manufacturing plant working with large and heavy equipment for 40 hours or more a week. 

 

He is still very fatigued.  And he gets headaches still almost every day.  I often worry that he went back to such a physically stressful job so soon. And every headache terrifies me. 

 

Not sure if it is worse knowing or not knowing the cause. Either way you worry about the it happening again.

 

I look forward to leaning more from this forum.

Suzanne 

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Hi Suzie

 

I too had a NASAH nearly 22 months ago and agree it can be worrying not knowing the cause. I think we all worry about it happening again but have to put that to the back of our minds. Recurrence is very rare. 

 

I am not surprised your husband is still fatigued,  he is working long hours in a stressful job. Did he phase back or just jump straight in on 40 hours? Either way he probably needs to take a step back and reassess his working hours. Benign or not his brain has suffered a massive insult and it really does take time for it to recover. I too worked 40 hours a week pre bleed but now have dropped to 34 hours, having a day off mid week to recover - and I still need that now. 

 

Headaches can be a sign he is doing too much, is he drinking plenty of water as that really does help. 

However if they persist it may be worthwhile having a chat with his doctor. 

Welcome to BTG I am sure others will have more advice for you so keeping popping back. Take care and see if you can persuade him to cut down a bit. 

 

Clare xx

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Hi Suzanne,

 

Welcome to BTG.

 

Your husband returned to work remarkably quickly.  I returned after six months on a phased return but it was still too soon.  I too suffered from fatigue, in fact I still do but not to such an extent.  My SAH was six years ago.  Is it time you both took a holiday in the sun to communicate, re-charge and relax?

 

Tell him how you feel and let him tell you how he feels.  It is important that you both understand the others position and feelings, so please be honest with each other.  Can you get him to read this thread you have opened and plan your way through this together with love and support on both sides?  After all, his SAH affects both of you and those around you.

 

It sounds like he went straight back into it full time, almost as if nothing had changed, because that is the way he wanted it to be.

 

He has to acknowledge that what happened was very serious and treat the condition with the respect it deserves because although he is back up on his feet, he is still undergoing the physical trauma associated with a SAH.  Think of it as an earthquake followed by the aftershocks.  You are far better working with the condition than against it.  Only then will he make progress and really get back to something like what he considers 'normal.'

 

If you pretend nothing happened, your body has its own way of telling you that what you are doing now is too much and it will seem like taking two steps back rather than one forward.  This is not a criticism, just a person speaking with the experience of having lived through a similar situation and having to sit down and re-appraise life when I really didn't want to accept there was anything wrong.

 

First, if I was you, I would persuade your husband to go back to your consultant and ask to check that there is nothing wrong.

 

Second, I would re-appraise my lifestyle, including the type of work, number of hours worked ie; whether I could reduce my hours, have more regular breaks, work part - time, delegate more to others and so forth.

 

Third, are there any bad habits to cut down on, drinking, smoking, late nights etc.  Perhaps go to bed an hour earlier so your husband gets a good night's sleep, especially if working the next day.  Resting well is as important as eating well and embracing a generally healthy life-style.

 

Work to live, not live to work!

 

I hope this helps. Please let us know how you get on.

 

Macca

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It seems to me that there may be many reasons why your husband would go back to a hard physical job at such an early stage after his recovery. I would think that many of such reasons may not be good ones.

It might be difficult for him to spell them out to you and I think Macca's advice is well spoken. That it would be good for you both to talk about your feelings thoroughly.

 

That's often difficult for men to do. If he actually spelled out his reasons, concerns and view of his situation, what he tells you may come as a big surprise. He might be completely "off the ball" or again, seeing things from his viewpoint, you might agree that in a bad situation, his route may be the least bad option. 

 

It may be however that if he listens to any insights you have after discussion, he will gain more understanding of things he hasn't realised regarding his own condition AND that of his wife's. Sorry for the "agony aunt"  two cents. It's just that in my experience I have often been surprised at how people who believe they know and understand each others viewpoints, can turn out to be completely wrong because they never actually talked about them in detail.

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Hi there. Mine was an AVM two and a half years ago. Incredably, incredably lucky with the outcome. However I felt very fit after a couple of months except for the fatigue and sleep disruption, which took about a year to settle down.

 

Until I got used to being well again, every headache was a 'oh no, here we go again', and once pulled a muscle in my neck, right near my AVM pain. One of the hardest things was to tell my wife, being hugely aware of what I'd put her through only a few months before.

 

Fortunately retired so return to work not an issue. I would have really struggled with the fatigue, and also from much stronger emotions -I cry at the drop of a hat - and anxiety that I still carry.

 

I knew I'd been unlucky, but then so, so much luckier in recovery, and we just had to be very patient.

 

Keep talking to each other to go over and share all the fears

 

 

Clive

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