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Jo posting on behalf of Rob


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Hi I am new here and posting on behalf of my uncle who suffered a stroke 2 weeks ago. He is 55 - he will be 56 in a couple of days.


Our family history has a fair few health problems:


Me - autoimmune hypothyroidism 


Mum - hypothyroidism, diabetes type 1, high blood pressure, multiple sclerosis 


Grandad - aortic fibrillation (cause of death combined with aortic stent rupture), heart disease, stroke at 39, stroke at 60, high cholesterol 


Nan - heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes type 1


Uncle - ulcerative colitis, diabetes type 1


My uncle worked as a heavy goods vehicle driver and has done this job for about 30 years, his shifts were mostly at night and he traveled all over the UK. He has been given sick pay for so many weeks and will be given a job to accommodate the stroke. He has a partner who also works, too.


I am looking for support for both of them. Since he has been out of hospital he hasn't slept in case he won't wake up again and his partner hasn't slept or eaten and she is spending her time in their house sitting in the lounge in the dark because of the fear they have no money/income to pay the electricity bills.

My uncle has also been having my nan of 76 at his house to do housework and according to my mum he has been "playing up to her". My nan has been widowed since 2015.


Any help appreciated, thank you.


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Welcome to BTG.


Your uncle should be entitled to benefits after his sick pay ends or even now but it is not easy to sort. May I suggest that your uncle or his partner get benefits advice as soon as possible so they will not be without income.


Google Benefits Advice in Bristol, there seems to be plenty of organisations that can help but because of benefit changes all will be busy so sooner rather than later would be best. Any one of them will be able to do a full benefits check and tell them what help should be available.


What has happened to your uncle takes some coming to terms with. Many of us have gone through the phase of not sleeping in fear of not waking up.

Might I suggest that he sees his doctor who may give him something in the short term to help him sleep. As for his partner, she needs to look after herself so she has the energy to look after your uncle.


As for him playing up to your nan, your nan will probably be just taking it with a pinch of salt. 

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Hi there


Warm welcome to the site, glad that you found us.


I'm with SM he should be entitled to benefits I'm glad you've taken the step to find out good for you...


Yep a trip to the doctor would be a very good idea, or get the doc to call stress to the receptionist it is urgent...


It does take a lot of coming to terms with (& I think maybe men are more infected that way)..


take care 

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Some great advice for you there Jojo,


I too had my SAH at 55 and I too travelled all over the UK with my job.  I, too, had some trouble with the idea of going to sleep but I don't have any trouble now and I am still here.  It's almost like the fear of fear itself, but it will subside over time because there is no real reason to fear going to sleep.  It's a natural part of life and going to sleep naturally is actually a good sign that recovery is taking place and is giving the brain much needed time for repairing itself so it seems actually to be more of a help than a hindrance, to me.


Yes, go to the CAB to get the help and advice you need.  Doing nothing is not an option.  You need to be a bit pro-active here and once your money worries are alleviated, you will find a lot of other things will fall into place much more easily.


Show your uncle these replies and some of the stories on here.  He is one of us, a survivor, and we are all still here.  Keep checking in with the doctors, make sure he has a balanced diet in line with his doctor's advice, plenty of fluids and plenty of rest.  Everything else is down to his doctors and following their guidance!


Good luck!



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