LadyG Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 My husband suffered a SAH. He refused treatment for 4 days. Six days in ICU. Just stopped taking Nimotap, though wouldn't take as directed, 17 days was Dr's cutoff date. No physical imparements. Yet, some things are defiantly different. Lack of empathy. Psychosocial shifts. He hates missing Church (unlike me) or Bible Studies (I never go). He's missed both ever since SAH. I have reached out to our Church about his anger, hoping to find comfort. They pretty much don't get it. I should be grateful. I tried to talk to his Mom. She scolded my concern as negative thinking. I asked the ICU social worker if I could meet with her to better understand. No response. As he is getting a little stronger, less naps, ive encouraged daily wals, 2 to 5 miles in a natural setting, parks, ocean, etc., he seems farther away connectively. We've always been flirty, enjoying playfully banter. We are over 50. The nurses accused us of being newlyweds. They were right. It will be 2 years in July. However, the playful banter is gone. 4-weeks post SAH, today, he's accused me of being in appropriate and/or appears emotionally paralized and puzzled by my playful comments. When I pointed it out, he claimed, "that's a lot to think about. I will have to look for the "clues". Further discussion revealed he would have to look for the clues inside of him, but couldn't explain what that meant. Our condo has very high windows. The moon shines into our living room especially when it is full; which we both enjoy and had been marveling together the night of his SAH. Prompted by a line in a movie we were watching, I shared with him, "Perhaps all we need to do is dance in the moon light." His response, "I will never dance in the moonlight!" (We have so enjoyed dancing together, even at home, alone). I asked him why?" By his delay I sense he could tell I was hurt. "Because, we never get moonlight here." "Yes we do. About every 30 days." "Every 30 days? Well, we never see it. It is always overcast." We had just watched Ariel Cities San Francisco. They talked about the fog. We live in Southern California. Over cast and fog last about a nano-second. Nobody else in his life would notice this. Not his church of 20 years. Not his Mom. Nobody we know. He's a highly intelligent, well read man. I often forget simple things, he's always reminding me. For him to not remember our spectacular seats during a full moon...disturbing to say the least. This is just an example. He says things I've never heard him say before. For example, "Cats are like women, you have to be mean to them, then they will come back for more." WHAT??? So contrary to the man I know pre SAH. In the hospital he claimed his pain was a 4. This week he told me it was a 15. He has always expressed anoyance about mochismo manerisms, now he seems to embrace the very attitude he's dispised. So when asked, "How are you feeling overall...he responds, "Fine!" With further questioning, he admits he's struggling, but won't describe specifically. I'm at a loss. To our world, he seems fine. To me...not even close to fine. I seriously need support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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