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WE BOTH MISS ME


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DOES ANYONE ELSE FIND IT DIFFICULT WHEN YOUR SPOUSE TELLS YOU THAT THEY MISS A PART OF YOU?

I FIND IT UPSETTING WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE AND HAVE BEEN VERY GIVING AND SUPPORTIVE OF EACH OTHER BUT I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO HEAR SUCH A STATEMENT BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT. I KNOW HE IS ONLY TRYING TO COMUNICATE HIS FEELINGS TO ME BUT IT IS HARD TO HEAR.

LUV XXX EVELYN :mrgreen:

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Guest ElaineW

I can only comment from a carer's point of view. I don't think I could go through anything more traumatic than having someone close to you suffer with a SAH. My mum, yes is very different but in a kind of wierd way she is a better person, yes I do miss some of her little ways but it has put life into perspective for both of us. She is so appreciative that she has been given a second chance and is more special to me than ever now. It is maybe a different feeling when it's your spouse I cannot answer that. I do feel at times that part of my mum has gone but a big part of her is left and I am so grateful for that.

Elaine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Evelyn,

Gosh its like hearing an echo, i don't know how many times I cried that into a pillow.

Its tough to hear that, but good too that they can be open and honest with you.

Like you I really missed for a long time the person that I was (or thought I was) pre SAH and was very bitter and I did grieve. I was angry that no one else seemed to noticed I had changed.

A good pal then made me realise, we all change as we go through life, and our experiences undoubtly shape the people that we become. It just happens that our Change comes along quite abruptly and after and such a traumatic extent. It is like a giant slap.

When you both are ready you will hopefully make peace with what has happened and embrace this brand you start! (at the end of the day, its been taken out of your hands and there's nothing you can do) Don't get me wrong, I resent that I've had an SAH, I'll quite happily bemoan Why Me?, but it has happened to me and here we are, I was so fed up Grieving for what I lost I nearly forgot to appreciate what I still had. (Thats a bit deep)! :D

Hang in there. If you don't like what you see today, start fresh tomorrow.

But remember be kind to yourself, you've all had a rough ride.

Big Hugs

Aine x

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Hey

Aine so well put luv, yep for a long time I greived for the 'old Louise' (didnt know I was greiving at the time though) I would say 'the old Louise' wouldnt do this, or 'the old Louise' wouldnt have said that......when I accepted that the 'new Louise' was here & here to stay then I moved on all be it slowley......

Yes we all change throughout life maturing/older wiser but this change has been just thrown at us its no wonder we and partners/family take it so hard or find it so difficult.......

yes be kind on yourself, take care

Louise.x

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