goldfish.girl

Hi Donnamarie, I am 2yrs on and still suffer terrible headaches. I try to only use paracetamol but occasionally have to take co-dydramol and have recently been given co-codamol as the other two weren't taking the pain away. I also only take this when desperate as I don't like the 'hangover' effect. I find that stress & tiredness are the main cause of pain in my head but was interested to read the other posts about ditching coffee (what a thought - i'm sure i'm addicted to it and it keeps me going!)I may give it a try to see what happens.... M x

Good luck this weekend Zoe. I hope you have a happier update after this visit. It is so hard for you and I think everyone is wishing you and Richard well during this difficult time xx

Hi Marylin, I had SAH 2 years ago and have fought an exhausting battle ever since to stay in denial and prove that I have recovered. I finally realised 2 weeks ago that I am not who I was, I can't physically or mentally do what I used to and this is really a good thing! I am taking a huge step back, cutting my hours at work and finally accepting what is. I have just had a second appointment with a neuro phsycologist (every thing seems to be in two's!). I believe it has helped enormously but I had to finally stop pushing myself off my own back and no counselling would have helped in the early days. I did not realise how ill I had been or how much life would change. It has taken 2 years but perhaps you could try to stay strong for your mum, don't push her or judge her, just allow her to be and perhaps, like me, she will come to realise and accept things in her own time. I do think though, that with the right, unobtrusive help, perhaps she will see things clearly sooner? I know it must be very hard for every one watching to see how much the person is struggling but I don't think you can make people accept things until they see for themselves. It is so hard to accept what you have lost. I'm in the early stages of accepting this and have found posts on here amazingly helpful, I hope you & your mum will too. Best wishes x

Hi Zoe, I don't visit this site often but have just read through this post from the start. What a roller coaster ride you have had. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you. I also know that my SAH was far harder on my family than on me at the time but reading your posts highlights this more and I was a lot luckier than your husband. You are an amazing woman and have shown enormous strength. I hope this will not offend or upset you, but you need support too as your life has suddenly changed too and become very hard. Your children and husband need you to be the 'solid ground' but no-one could deal with this without help and encouragement. Are you in touch with other carers, maybe it would help to share what you are going through with others in the same position. Is there anyone who could help out with your children, even just to give you a break for an afternoon? Maybe there is some type of young carers project near you? I wish you the very best and hope your next post is another happier one. Take care xx

Thank you all for all your replies. I have been moved to tears by your support and amazed at what you have achieved. It's given me hope but I can't stand the frustration of learning being such a struggle now. I will have to get used to it!!!! I was told on Friday that a new part to my job is being added to my terms of reference. I'm not sure I can agree to sign them as I'm not sure I will be able to learn this part as it seems very indepth & complicated. I think that once it has been added, it will be used against me in that I 'can't do my job'. Thank you all again for the advice. I will try to contact my Union Rep next week. Michelle x

Hi Gary & Sally, Thank you for your messages and support. I have brilliant colleagues at work who have been amazingly helpful and patient, they all know what is going on but it seems I am powerless to do anything about it. I had thought speaking to the HR office would have helped - until they said they'd just move me! I think people are completely ignorant of the side effects of SAH as they have no experience of it. (Not an excuse not to go and find out though). A lady from Momentum is coming in to work next week & I'm hoping she will be able to explain things more clearly to them. I don't know the legal ins & outs but I had thought that as I am now registered as disabled there would be some sort of protection of my interests in situations like this? Does anyone know anything about this? Thank you. Michelle x

Hi, I had SAH 2 years ago & have been determined to get well ever since (mostly as I had no idea how long this might take!). I am still doing the job I did before but not at the same level & find it all a confusing muddle. I have managed to 'wing it' so far. On the whole, everyone has been fantastic with helping me and understanding that I'm not as bright or quick as I used to be. The problem is my new(ish) boss who knew me before, has come back as boss again and seems to think i'm putting it on!! (Oh how I wish I was!) He's clearly trying to get rid of me & I spoke to the personnel office last week about medical retirement (I have only just turned 40!!!!!) I was told I wouldn't get it but would be moved to a new job instead. This fills me with total terror - I struggle to learn one new thing - a whole job would be beyond what i'm capable of. I think this would make me ill & destroy what's left of my confidence. Has anyone else been 'sidelined' and managed to learn something new? I know I can learn one thing eventually with repetition and help from others but the massive headaches and overwhelming tiredness my last attempt caused lasted for 2 months before I felt I'd cracked it. In a new job, absolutely everything would be new and I really don't think I'm able to do this. I would love to hear from others who have managed to do new things. Thank you x

Hello Sonia, I would love to hear how you are after 10 years, I hope you have seen great improvements over that time? I am 2 years on and always desperately hoping to 'meet' or hear about someone who feels 100% well again, but maybe the people who are totally recovered (does that ever happen???) are so well they no longer feel the need to write on support group pages. I really, really wish they would!! Look forward to hearing how things have been for you since you got ill. Take care x

Hi Sally, I have just passed the 2 year mark and I know how you feel. I am back at work part-time but not doing the level of work I used to do and, even worse, not particularly good at the work I now do if I am honest. Like others on here I find crowds and socialising difficult. I went to a school reunion on Saturday thinking that would be a great test of my 'improvement'. It was probably the worst thing I could've done. I couldn't remember faces or anything about people after I remembered (or was told) their names and had no idea how to start a conversation, didn't have a clue what to talk about and was terrified of getting muddled and making a fool of myself. I was initially turned down for DLA but went to tribunal (I would recommend asking someone to speak for you if you struggle to explain yourself -hind sight is great!!). I tried to speak for myself but went totally blank & only got the lowest level (less than £20 per week) - but it is better than getting nothing at all. Good luck xx

Hi, I also still get 'white noise' and a feeling in my head as though I can feel the blood pumping through it. I also get a feeling like an electric shock (or buzz) to my brain where I feel like the earth has just tilted for a second or two. All of this happens slightly less now (2 years post SAH) but it's still a bit disturbing when it does happen. Mel x

Thank you Noah. I've looked through a lot of peoples' My Story' on the site. It is very moving to read other peoples' stories and I think all have done well to put it down in writing. I don't feel I can do that yet (even 2 years later!) but it has really helped to see what other people go through and how well they progress. I hope one day I will be able to do this myself. Thank you again for all the replies xx

Thank you for your replies. I hope your job situation is resolved soon Sally. I'm glad my job doesn't involve driving as I still find it really hard to concentrate and my driving is definitely not as good as it used to be (my parking is even worse but at least it gives my kids a good laugh!!) Thank you for the link Jaykay, i will look into this, I hadn't heard of them before. Best wishes Mel x

Apparently there is no Occupational Health for civilians in MoD!!!! I was told to contact Benefits Agency! Got to work last week to find my desk had been evicted from my office! Do other people on here wonder why they've fought so hard to get back to 'normal' sometimes? M x

Thank you all for your advice & letting me know of other options which might help - i'm very grateful. I will look into how to contact Occupational Health. I've just had a week away on holiday with my son and I feel great. Back to work tomorrow so I'll see how great I feel by Friday!! Thank you again, Mel

Thank you Louise. Do you feel fully fit now? Mel x

Sara, Momo & Janet - thank you. I have just read a post by Janet elsewhere on here and was really interested in you working 20 hrs over 4 days. I went back to work after 3 months and still struggle now. I do three days of 8 hours and find it totally exhausting. I come home to my son who wants his tea, needs help with homework and a dog who wants a walk, then it's time to do packed lunches for the next day! I honestly haven't found it getting any easier in all this time. I am completely exhausted when I get home and am very snappy and horrible, I also have regular headaches & dizziness when I'm at work. It's an awful feeling but I'm scared to give in and accept defeat (for now). It would also be hard financially if I cut my hours as I live alone with my son. I knew after my 2nd coiling 3months after I went back to work that I wasn't coping but my doctor only signed me off for 2 weeks (a total of 14 wks post SAH). I wonder if pushing myself non stop since then is holding up my progress or do I maybe need to accept that I may never get any better than this? I would be very grateful to hear what others think. Thank you. Mel x

Hi, thank you for the replies and the instructions on how to use the site! I had an SAH two years ago next week but have inly just started to receive aftercare from the brain rehabilitation people - I didn't even know there was any emotional aftercare until April this year. I've been on your site a few times and had a look around - it has been great to realise that my recovery is 'normal' even after nearly two years. I was staring to think I was just lazy! So it has been a huge relief to hear that some of you also still have problems. Mel x

Hi, I'm not sure hoe to introduce myself on here. I tried using the 'contact us' button but it didn't work! Can anyone help? Thank you, Mel