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About goldfish.girl

  • Birthday 17/04/1970


  • Location
    Morayshire, Scotland
  • SAH/Stroke Date
    SAH 8 July 2008

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  1. LinLin, you always say so perfectly the things I'd love to say half as well! Congratulations on your 4th anniversary and on how much you have achieved during that time. Well done & I hope you enjoyed your day! Michelle xx
  2. Happy anniversary loopy Lou! I just to pop on & say that my last screaming, crying melt down over how my life used to be was 3 &a half years after my S.A.H after trying to go to a lunch with about 200 others who used to work in the same place I had worked in for 20+ years. It was so good to see them all but such a punch to the face to realise how different my life had become. I hit 5 years last month & although I was aware of the date I no longer feel a need to mark it - that is the 2nd year I have felt this way & it feels good!! Obviously the date will always give me food for thought but something has changed. Hard to explain it but it's almost like that was the person I used to be. Now I am different & when I try to compare the 2 now it has changed from 'walking away from the wreckage' to being happy with a life unrecognizable from the past one, like they are two totally separate things. I hope this will be the same for others as time goes on. It wasn't't a conscious decision it just happened. Maybe my brain carrying out a life rebuild? Enjoy your celebration on . 27 th. The beach sounds fab! Michelle xx
  3. Hi Dawn I think each health board may be different. I was also under 40 when I had S.A.H. I had my 5 year scan last week & believe that if all is well I will be discharged by the Neuro surgeon. Michelle
  4. Hi Wem, I just want to pop on and add that you are doing so, so well. More so because you know this crash will pass. I think that's the most important thing to remember - the crashes are a phase that WILL pass. Yes, they will come again but again, they WILL pass. I find that the best way to deal with them - knowing they are temporary. As a serious 'oldie' I always read posts about improvements still happening many years down the line & felt skeptical about this BUT I realise this really IS true! I went on holiday abroad for one week last year and was so seriously exhausted/fatigued that I could barely move for many days when I got home. I was so 'fatigued' that my face & hands went numb & scared the life out of me. One year later - I have gone abroad for 2 weeks, yes I am very, very tired, my 'fatigue' symptoms have been present....muddled speech, messed up balance & so very, very tired.....but I have kept going all week, doing all the usual household & shopping things. (with a few tantrums over little things thrown in ) I just want to say never give up, the improvements really do keep happening!! I was 5 years on in July and thought I'd got as good as I ever would. I'd like to be much better still but I can see the huge improvement compared to last year It's been good to see that Michelle xx
  5. Love the positive thread!! My latest achievement which is small but I am very chuffed about is that I have a new phone Mine was incredibly old, couldn't take pics or use the internet on it. I tried a new phone last year & got so frustrated that I gave up with it. I had help to set it up & input all my contacts etc (well actually, someone else just did it all for me) and I am slowly learning how to use it to send texts & use the internet on it. Unfortunately I can't read BTG on it as the writing is too small but I'm sure there is a way to enlarge it - I'm working on that!! I haven't yet given the new number out to anyone as I wanted to use the old one until I worked out how to use the new one first. D-Day is 2nd August when the contract ends on the old one. I'm feeling really pleased that I am doing something I couldn't do last year. Wish me luck for D-Day!! Michelle xx
  6. Hi Kris, I also volunteer one morning a week at a day centre for adults with disabilities. I started about 8 months ago & I love it. I used to do admin work & returned to work for two years before being medically retired. My brain does not do well with admin or any computer related things any more and my organisational skills are gone so it had to be a totally different field for me. Apart from loving the work, I really enjoy learning new things & being out of the house actually DOING something again. My social skills also took a hit & I find making small talk with people almost impossible. At work I am dealing with people who have limited (sometimes no) communication skills. It has taken me quite a while to be able to chat to people but I think being there has improved this area for me a little bit too. There is also the unexpected advantage of seeing people far worse off than ourselves which helps put our own deficits back into perspective. Well done for starting this & good luck! Win, you would light up any OAP home with your humour & singing. They would love you & you'd brighten a lot of their days. You should give it a go! Michelle xx
  7. Hi Daff, The 'banana' part of your post made me laugh! I used to keep saying 'cucumber' by mistake initially & then just as standard every time I couldn't find a word or a name I was referred for neuro psych testing by my NS at almost 2 years post SAH. I found the tests exhausting too. I thought I had done really well & even felt quite cocky about the whole thing as I did them. I was very much indenial, though, apart from knowing that I was always tired & my head always hurt - I really thought that was my only change. I did have a massive sweary mouthed tantrum & cried for days at the results. That doesn't mean that you will, you may well get a very nice surprise instead & score well on things you think you are not doing well at. I can't quote the exact outcome without reading through the report again but the basics are: moderate - severe memory problems & executive functioning. There is more but I can't remember it all now.They are the things that stick in my mind most as they are daily challenges. As Sandi said, it is a great starting point to understanding where you struggle so you can stop being so demanding of yourself when you are struggling and the key being taught skills to help you cope with any deficits that may be there. Good luck with the results & look forward to hearing how you get on. Michelle xx
  8. Sorry Penny It is so uplifting to see such a positive, happy attitude though against the odds Michelle x
  9. Hi Desy, Welcome to BTG. Keep up the positive, happy attitude - humour is the best recovery aid I've come across! Looking forward to karaoke night with you & Win Michelle x P.S I forgot to say that I have fits of the giggles too, especially with doctors - in particular when one said something had gone wrong with the wiring in my brain. All I could think of was my husband saying 'you're no wired up right' during disagreements - the Dr said similar & I was off
  10. Hi Doodles I have been sorting travel insurance out too. The price tends to shoot up if you have had surgery or treatment within the last 6 or 12 months (depending on insurer). I am using Insure & Go this year. The starting price was about £20 for 2 weeks for myself & my son. Because he had been admitted to hospital again within the last few months the price went up to about £60 for both of us, for 2 weeks. Might be worth you giving them a try. I did it on-line & the form was very easy & quick. One of the questions was has your annie been successfully treated. I liked that question Michelle x
  11. Hi Tracy I too have been through an epic battle with DVLA (my consultant actually replied to them fairly quickly but the forms take forever for DVLA to process). They informed last year that it takes 6 weeks for them to acknowledge that they received a form I know this is not what you want to hear but it's sometimes better to be forewarned. I had several melt downs over the process & I do understand how upsetting & frustrating it is to lose your independence in this way. On a more positive note, there is something called Access to Work which helps with the cost of taxi fares to work when you are not allowed to drive for medical reasons. Perhaps this would be better than the long bus trip? If you ask at your local benefits office, they should be able to tell you more about it. Good luck! Michelle x
  12. Hi Sarah, Try not to be so hard on yourself. The early days are incredibly hard with anxiety & feeling so unwell & vulnerable. Keep in mind that you WILL get much better than you are right now & normal activities for you (and your husband) will be possible again. It takes time and it's good to hear your husband understands your anxiety and changed his plans. He'll have nights out again eventually. I found the neuro psychology input enormously helpful & I am sure that you will too. Better times are ahead, try not to force them to happen before you are ready to. You will get there. Michelle xx
  13. Good to see you back here, alive & kicking David It would take a brave man to ignore Miss Mary's advice when she's on your case & has your phone number!!! Do you need to have any treatment for your heart or is it something that will settle in time? Hope you are indeed resting? Feel better soon. Michelle xx
  14. Hi Sarah Yes, it is scary but as someone else said (Penny??) it will be good for your husband to have a break for a few hours. It's been a huge event for all of you & some normality for him this evening is a good thing too. I hope this helps you to get it into perspective.....I am a single mum, my older son had left home by the time I had SAH, my younger son was 7 & alone with me when it happened. We had someone staying with us for 3 weeks after I got home but after that it was just the two of us so I had to get over the worry & I know that is really not easy (to put it mildly!). I always had my mobile with me, even to go to the loo & myself & family had made sure that he understood how to ring 999 & give our address IF it was required - it never was thankfully. Also, make sure your husband has his mobile with him & that your son knows how to get hold of him. I'm sure you won't need to but just that safety net will help your anxiety. Enjoy a lovely night to yourself & look forward to how pleased you feel with that milestone tomorrow when all has passed without incident & your husband is feeling chirpy because he got to enjoy a night out with his pals Michelle x
  15. Yes, Hello to all the newbies! Elaine, I felt a bit sad to read that you didn't feel you were acknowledged when you first posted. Speaking for myself, I am struggling to keep up with who's who at the moment as there have been a lot of new people joining all at the same time. I forget who said what or if I've already said 'hi' to them when there are so many at once. Once I've read a few posts from the same person my brain slowly starts to remember little things about each person but it does take me a while. I find it easier to stay quiet until I start to remember everyone. I'm sorry you felt a bit left out at first. This is such a friendly group of people that I am sure it was not intentional & like me, others will probably feel more confident in chatting to you once we work out who everyone is Hopefully now that you are joining in more, you will find it all very helpful & welcoming. Incidentally what soap did it seem like? I'm thinking maybe Coronation Street fits the bill, Eastenders are always shouting & miserable Karen is the pub landlady maybe? Nice to 'meet' you!! Michelle x
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