amexdm

Hello all: A common thread lol. I feel and look eighty too. Bags under my eyes have bags. I get better looking as the day goes on though. I'm sure glad you found us Jessica. Did you just find us recently? Daff-Knew you would chime in. Sounds if you are on the boom and bust train like some of us. I don't feel so alone now. I wouldnt even mention it normally but this was a huge BAM for me this week, more severe than others. I know those adrenaline rushes just knock us out though. BUT, your brochure says we will have normal life expectancy so that is a big positive. We just have to get better now. Oops Sandi popped in. Yes, the only good thing Sandy Is I've learned to not overdo it on my "good" days! JH- not sure what you mean by soda bubbles. I get tinglining in my brain. Usually on the top of my head. To give you an example of my wonderful neuro, I told her that I had tiningling in my brain. She wrote down tingling in the SCALP and moved on. I'm not talkin bout dandruff Doc, I said tingling in my BRAIN. It is supposed to be normal though yay, I get it when tired, which lately is every day. David

Hello, Well Jess I dont think you threw a pity party, although I might have. And I appreciate your support. Trust me i am the most positive person in the world. But you hit the nail on the head that our expectations are too high. Although i was told i would make a "complete" recovery and would be "fine" in a month. My expectations are now lowered of course due to reality. But at setback number 50, how much reslieincy does one have? Good question, my wife has been super supportive and does everything for me as far as cooking, cleaning, house stuff. I have severe headaches still so she sees me in terrible pain. She has had her moments also but I cant blame her. But if I am not well enough to enjoy two hours of golf on a sunny day then it makes me wonder. Mary and I are at two years and similar places. All being said, hopefully having these past good days are a sign of improvment right. It just that we want it sooner than it has come. David

Hello: Well I am thankful to have had two good weeks but thats all I get? JH- I had a SAH with no known cause. No surgery. Off work for two months. Came back way to soon and have been climbing the uphill mountain ever since. You are so right that it's the out of the blue stuff that knocks me out. Such as my co-worker missing two days. These things we cant predict. But there always be something. I cannot cook a meal after a work day. I can barely do laundry. Am I asking too much? Thanks. David

Hi Jessica, Everthing you feel is normal. I think we want our old happy back and there is nothing wrong with that (see my recent Two weeks cured thread). I am feeling the same way at the moment. I cant imagine what you went thru with your angio and the 10 tries. That is awful and humiliating. i understand your fear of doctors, I really do. When I had my SAH in the hospital, it took them 5 tries to get my catharter in. The last try was a Resident who shoved it in me and said "There, done" and walked away leaving me naked and alone. She was like angry. I didnt ask for the damn catharter!. My wife was outside the curtain and saw it all. So i know what you mean. If you have PTSD, you should try to see a therapist. It is very difficult to tackle on your own. If you could meet with a therapist who specializes in brain injuries I think it would help. They want me to go but I cant take time off work right now. If I go, I will let you know how it goes. I have fought and fought for two years and you what, it gets tiring. So use all the help you can. Here for ya. David

Hello all, I think I remembered GG writing a similar thread a while back about having two good weeks and then back to SAH misery. Well, it happened again. In the beginning of August I had a great two week stretch of 11 out of 14 days. 11 Good days. Little pain, little fatigue. And then it came back again. Out of nowhere, just like the "cure" did. I am back to severe headaches and leg pain and fatigue. I literally CRAWL out of bed to get up to go to work. To get out of my car, I have to pull myself up with the door to have enough strength. I did not think I was cured but was hopeful of progress. I spent the weekend in bed. Last Thursday and Friday, my co-worker called in sick with a headache. I had to do all the work of two people. Absolutely shattered my body. There have been some incredibly beautiful days last week. 73 and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And I was in bed. I would have liked to have sat outside or played golf. Golf is not that strenuous. I made the executive decision that my rest and body were more important than being outside. But you know what. It sucked. This not me. If it were not for my wife, I would give up work and be disabled. Because I AM disabled. I am trying to provide a life for her and I and a future. I could make it on my own. I started taking Inderal/Propanol for blood pressure. It helped for a while. But I gained like 10 pounds immediately. It's ridiculous. I eat hardly nothing. When I have to take pain meds when the pain gets so bad I could scream, it screws up my breathing so I feel like I'm having a heart attack. So I got that going for me. I am a fighter and will keep fighting. I know others have it worse than me.I know this will pass and I will improve. But improve to what level??? I know this is just a setback but after setback now #50 I'm a little sick of it. Just a rant and thanks for listening. Has anyone else had a good stretch only to be kicked in the teeth and had thier legs cut out? David

Hello, Jesssica you have been through alot. I am in the US also and can empathize with your problems with the neuro doctors. They dont know what to do with us. I also suffer from PTSD and find it hard to accept the new normal. The best thing to do is talk it out and people here will listen. I used to be the life of the party also but spent last weekend in bed. You are not alone in this, we have all felt that way. Tou can PM anytime if you need to vent. David

Hi Daff, Thanks for sharing. The beginning part was kind of reliving and scary. But the rest was great. I particulary liked the recovery part and the great life expectancy. My wife will be mad about the alcohol part. Thanks. David

Hello all: Hi Julie, hope you are sleeping better. Sleep is so important post SAH. We need to recharge our batteries right? Try a fan away from your bed and eventually you get used to the noise. It works for many. Right after SAH, I slept 16 hours a day. Must have been part dog. But it was better than the pain. But your patterns will get better over time. My problems is nightmares which is a whole nother issue which just knocks the daylights out of you. I need a sleep doctor! Maybe we all do. David

Hello all: Yes, Sandy a very valuable thread. Sarah it is often ok to try and test ourselves and our limits. Otherwise we will never know. I hope you are feeling better and work out that head. By no means should you be dissapointed in yourself. You are strong and do fantastic. I think Mary and I are very close in our recovery stages. I am just past two years and had 11 out of 14 good days. It was nice for a while. This week it's back to feeling the wall of fatigue again. But progress is being made. Sleep is a huge factor for me. One bad night and I'm off kilter for 3-4 days. Hope all are well, David

Hi Win, Tell your brother to keep it down, you have a brain injury! Noise is a bummer but not as bad as it was initially. I can't talk on the phone for very long either, neck and headache. Hope your shunt is ok pal. I got brave yesterday and decided to listen to music on my iPhone headphones. Bad idea. gave me a headache. I will say the noise issue has gotten better over time, relatively speaking David

Hello SL, Well done on three years on. You are a great fighter and inspiration to all of us. I have learned so much from you and all on this site. Drink water right? I am glad you have your daughter to share it with and i know she brings you much joy. I hope you continue to improve and wish you good health. Best of health, David

Hello all: Hi all BTG Back to Work people. Been a couple weeks since this has been updated. A special welcome to some new workers here. We are all in this together. I am back at 40 hours. I was working 35 in July. The little break did help me. This is my last chance. Sink or swim. I do wish sometimes I could channel my inner hippie and drive around in a VW bus. I have mastered Pacing. Go to Work. Come home lay in bed. Rest. Go Back to work. I am able to go out to dinner with my wife on Saturdays. I am thankful for that. Positive right? Headaches are better though. woo hoo. Mr. Fatigue beats me every day though. Some days ok, others not so much. But, I think I'm gonna make it. I have BP meds that should keep my BP at a safe level. Otherwise rest and water. Iola- Welcome and please join us. I live in US also and do similar type work. Let me know if you need any help.tips. Take it slow and drink lots of water. You may find a little normal back. Wem- I have followed your posts but too tired to respond. I feel your pain and feel the fatigue. Glad We're not alone. Sandy-Good job on volunteering Gill- Glad to see you volunteer work went well. I know you've been trying for a while. And you made Nate's concert thats awesome Sarah lou- Enjoy your time off. Hope everyone is well. David

Hello all, Congrats on the volunteering Kris, hope it works out for you and all others who do this. You all know my volunteering attempt was a disaster with the Hospice group so I volunteer right now to try and take better care of myself. That darn Mary is right again. I would PAY to see Win sing at an OAP home casue that would be fun. Sorry to all if I havent been so supportive lately but must keep myself alive first. Good day all, David

Hello, Wow, Daff great article, How do you find this stuff? Well yes this article totally applied to me. I wish this lady was my doctor! My doctor says "You have to have a job" While my job has hurt me physically, its more due to the hours than stress. I love my job. I can do it in my sleep as far as knowing it. I get to help people save for their retirement. I send out checks for thousands and millions of dollars. I love the people I work with. But there are some inevitable fight or flight situations that are going to happen that cause stress like the article said. These build up over time. So we have to do the things that relax us and hopefully those outweigh the stressors. I do alot of those things already. Probably not enough. My company has worked with me for two years with this SAH. I think I have managed my return brilliantly. But maybe in their mind two years is enough to help someone. But now I worked myself too hard in to a TIA and I will stand up for my rights as a disabled worker. Sadly, if I quit or lose my job there are 50 people in line waiting to take it and push me out. SL- I love your honesty and you've been there since day 1, thank you. Maybe I havent accepted my SAH yet. But I dont want to go on disability to find out. Daff- Buy you a coffee for finding this article. Win- You didnt say anything wrong, no worries. I have had some huge support from this great group at BTG and I hope I still have it because I'm gonna need it in the next few weeks. Take care all, David

Hello, I worked today and was able to somehow survive the day when the air conditioning was out. It was 93 and the air was out at work but I stayed and didnt complain. Drank lots of cold water and used my desk fan. My wife's bone cancer test came out negative which is a huge relief for us. D-

Well: Thanks for asking Mary and everybody. The BP is down to 140/90 at worst and normal at best. I am taking Propanol which I don't mind but the 60mg was too strong. Made my heart flutter and very slow. My fat butt gained 8 lbs. So down to 20mg. I have 1/2 days on Wednesday but otherwise working full time. Mary you should slap me for going on with high BP but mine was 170/120 and my wife said "thats nothing hers was 210/120" so it's no big deal. My mom has passed away. Last time I listen to my wife. She also told me that SAH is nothing becasue her Uncle had a kidney transplant. Huh? That is her sick way of measuring things. Shes not very motherly. I have til July 31st to get well. 3 weeks. Then back to full time and 2 year anni on July 30th. Then my expiration date is up. Wife says I must be better by then. Maybe time to lookem for new wife . But it is huge lesson learned on BP for me. Dont fool with it. I have had a grandpa, two aunts and mother ruined by stroke. I dont want to end up like them. The other lesson learned is don't be like me. Big dummy David. And another lesson to Michele- yes I am scared of Mary and she has my phone number! Thanks to all who gently pushed me to go to hospital and to Mary who not so gently told me GET THE HECK TO THE HOSPITAL. NOW!!!

Hello all: I'm wondering if anyone else feels the ebbs and flows of an SAH day or week. What I mean is I can feel perfectly fine at around 1pm and then feel absolutely sick around 6pm. I will call my wife at lunch at 1 o'clock and say Boy I feel great today. And by 6pm I feel nauseous, dizzy, headache, heart racing, weakness and fatigued. How can this happen in one day? And how can I plan to do something in the evening. After two years I know that this is how it is and won't change. It also happens on a weekly basis also. Great Monday, Tuesday and so on. Thats why I did journal for a time but then found it a waste of time. I'm sure this is why my wife is done sick of me bein sick. It's just frustrating and hasnt changed in two years. And the definition of insanity is .... Anyone else feel this way? Does it get better after time? David

Hello all, I was told by my wife this weekend and also over the last two months that "It's time to get better now". Apparently it's time to get over my SAH and be done with it. She has been saying this for two months now. Now I know she is frustrated with me having to rest after I work all day but I have made an effort to try and be more active. But she says "It's time to get better now" and taps me on the knee as if I was a child. Like a child who scraped his knee and had a boo-boo She has been great for two years but the last two months not so much. I appreciate all she has done. However, she has pushed me in to doing more, working 10 hours which resulted in my stroke 10 days ago. I'm sorry, but I have to start taking care of MYSELF. No one else is gonna do it. I know she is sick of me having to rest all the time but now is not the time to push myself. I am feeling better with new blood pressure meds but still need to rest 10 days after a stroke. Anybody else had to deal with impatient caregivers that in this case are risking my long term well being? Can some magician wave a wand and make me better? Need to get away. David

Hello all: Thanks to all for thier responses and support. I had 4 good days of rest and am back at work. Feeling somewhat better. Work has agreed to reduce my hours to 35 a week. Anything is progresss. What some may not know is that I was working 10 hours a day for 3 weeks and this knocked the socks off me! We have that fixed. My BP was running high. I have new meds. And there were things going on at home. TThats been fixed. So it was 3 strikes and i was out. That is alot of stress for one person to handle. This is my last go of the work thing. They have worked with me for two years with some mixed results. Its sink or swim. But my wife has health issues and I need to if possible to have insurance for her. In fact she likely will need some surgery in a couple weeeks. So no all is not grand and easy in my life. I am a fighter and will get through. I know now not to play with high BP and hopefully that helps. I went to my GP yesterday and he thinks my problems are anxiety. Raaaaaaaaaaaahr. Anxious about losing my job, home, and insurance? Yep. But thats not my medical problem. I may have to look for a new GP. He is nice enough but just doesnt get SAH. Taking steps to get better. Thanks to all here at BTG for being there for me always. David

Hello all: Thanks to everyone for their concern and support. You must think I'm a real idiot. Well not dumb but determined maybe. I am at home resting. I did learn many things. High BP is a killer. Thanks Paul. I went three weeks with 175/120 and you just can't play with fire. I had BP meds but not strong enough. The nurses at the hospital said TIA's are nothing to play with. They said NEVER discount a TIA as minor. Now my Dad had like 4-5 so forgive my non-hysteria. My fault. They did tests. No brain damage. Or no more I should say. Say strokes have enlarged my heart. Greeeat. The neurologist would not make any commitment to reducing work hours but GP might. Thanks to all who pushed me. Mary for updates. Paul, SL, Sandi, Brian, Wem, Daff, Louise, Ryan, Kris, Sarah, Karen, Gill, Lin, all for caring and best wishes. Sorry to anyone I missed. Win is mad at me . Old so and so. Cant say what the future holds. I did tell everyone that I was killing myself at work. BTG listened. Doctors, work, family, friends did not. Glad I am ok I guess. Lesson learned. Love to all, David

Hello, Karen, Mary-I was going to lunch and started to feel dizzy and numbness in my face. I pulled in to my driveway and called 911. I could barely speak and numbness in arm. But after 15 minutes I felt fine. TIA's last a short time. The medics said likely TIA and wanted to take me to hospital. Dummy me went back to work. A TIA is a mini-stroke. It is supposed to be a warning of "the big one". I called my Doc yesterday but he wasnt avaialable. My BP has been 180/120 for 3 weeks. I may go to hospital today after work. I know I am a dummy but I cant afford to lose my job nor health insurance. Any else know anything? TIA's are common. Any advice is welcome. David

Hi all: I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. I think I had a TIA yesterday. In fact pretty sure. I had all the sypmtoms. Then they passed. Should I go to hospital? Anyone have any experience with this? Thanks. David

Hello all: Well I found my breaking point. I am not able to work 10 hours a day regardless of a shorter Friday. Two weeks ago, we started our summer schedule. I worked 9 1/2 and 10 hour days on Mon-Thurs. By the following Monday , I had numbness in my jaw and face. Also in my left arm. I do believe I was on the verge of a stroke.I went to my doctor on Monday afternoon and BP was 180/120. He advised me to cut back my hours. So I will be going back to 5 eight hour days. I wouldnt say my employer was real happy about it. Which begs the question. If I'm killing myself for my employer and they dont care and killing myself for my wife and she doesnt care why do it. I'm not doing it for MY health. I feel sick, tired and in pain. But then again as the good Michelle told me, I may be sick, tired, in pain and unemployed. So I shall carry on. I do believe that any further days worked at 10 hours would have resulted in a stroke. I know my body. Something wasnt right. Dont be me. Yes I am considering chucking the whole thing and going on disability. There are no good answers. Today, it feels like they beat my legs with a baseball bat. The whole team. Maybe I need a vacation.. Any ideas? Sandy- This is where you tell me I was smart to step back Brian- How did it go with neuro? Hope you bypassed the PA. David

Hi Win, I hope you're ok. Sorry for the headache. I know you will get it checked out cause your smarter than the average Winnie the Pooh Pooh bear. I'll pray for your tender head. Now get it checked out please. thats an Order. David

Hi Elaine, I did get Brain Zaps about a year ago when I Stupidly went off my anti-d's. This may be where you read this. But I stopped taking anti-ds for two weeks and started getting these brain zaps. I would describe it as a sound of like ffft ffft like an electric shock. I went to hospital and they agreed it was due to anti-d withdrawal. I do get occasional sort of shocks to the body when I lay still at first, certainly more so than before SAH. The brain is obviously electrical but I wouldnt dismiss anything as not important. It could be something. I googled brain zaps and there is such a term David