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Guest eyeball

for over a week now ive felt so alone, dont know how to explain it dont know why . i get so irritated and annoyed at so many things even my own kids which upsets me even more . a few times over the past week i have gone to bed closed my eyes and hear a massive bang and white flash its scares the life out of me because i know its inside my head. want to cry but i cant , before i had my sah i had a dissagreement with my 19 year old son over his computer addiction i cried for an hour went to my bed and thats when it happened and my son didnt visit me for a week . i brought 5 kids up on my own because their dad was a wife beating alcoholic i thought they cared for me . my second husband who i have a 4 yr old girl to is fantastic . i just feel lost . do we ever get back to normal, why do people think you should get over it . i dont even know what to say . my memory is getting bad and i have a feeling of dred like somthing is going to happen and im on my gaurd cause i dont know what the hell goes through my head. not in control of my mind . eileen

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Hi Eileen,

Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time ...... how did you get on at the Doc's? Do you think that you are suffering with depression?

I've also had a scary day today.....the worse day that I've had in 6 months and my head has felt like a pressure cooker.....so I've been extremely emotional and can barely hold a conversation with anyone, as my energy has been zapped. Sometimes, you think that life is getting easier after the SAH and then you have the stark reminders that bite you on the bum again.

I'm not sure whether you ever get over something like this, especially when you experience the physical reminders. Life for me, has very slowly got easier, but like you, mentally, there are times when I find it hard to cope.

Kids can be thoughtless, but I'm sure deep down that they must love you, try talking to them and explaining how you feel...

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hi karen, i do try to talk to my kids but they just think im having a moan just want them to get out there get a job and a good life . i have to have a scan on my legs just waiting for the appointment to come through. im ok when im busy but when i stop i start to think and thats not always a good thing. nevermind, back to work tomorrow and moaning customers, tried to swipe on at work the other day with my neckless , going round the bend . i also went shopping to cook chillie and got pasta instead of rice it was hanging he he . cant cook anyway. anyway i hope ur ok speak to you soon love eileen x

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Hi there

Been there too

'why do people think you should get over it'. some think its like getting over the flu or a broken limb dont they. Did you explain how you felt to the doc?

I'd imagine if your memory is getting bad like you say I'd say it was just because you are under a lot of stress, mines gets like that when I'm stressed up & I think oh! god but once the stress has eased the memory & stuff get better (well as best as is anyhow).

Think I said before but I'd get the whole family together & tell them how you feel tell them what life's like for you, you're not having a moan or having a go at them, I think if your working too that's great well done but its tireing even if you've not had a SAH.....

Take care

Louise.xx

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im feeling a bit better today thanks for reply its good to know ur not alone, i hope everyone has a good day take care love eileen

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Hey there

I get days like that too - I just lash out for what appears to be no apparent reason. There are days when I can control the temper days when I can't. I feel that since my MRI scan results came back so good that people automatically think that I'm over it all. Some days I can almost forget that it happened but other days its constantly in the forefront and if I sit and think about it too long it can get me down.

I agree though, you should let them know how you are feeling and at least try to help them understand a little.

TTFN

Sami xxx

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Hi Eileen,

You are funny! :lol: Think that the memory is also an age thing, as well as the SAH .... I know it is with me and if I'm pre-occupied with other stuff on my mind, it's even worse! :roll:

Hope that your kids can eventually motivate themselves to find a job and I know that I would feel the same as you. How old are they?

Glad that you're going to get your leg scanned, hopefully they can sort you out and it will be something less to worry about.

Hope you have a better day,

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Hi there

With you all the way on this one, girls (and boys). I'm having a 'getting things done' morning - or at least trying to and am being thwarted all round so have my Efficient, Don't Get In My Way, Don't Mess With Me Sarah Head on when dealing with pet insurance company (grrrrr - really painful) and accountant (grr grr double painful). Anyway, Fiona warned my dad what mood I was in and he says, "good, she must be getting better at last." AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH. Don't think we'll ever win this one!

Anyway, chins up everyone - at least we understand each other and can have a moan here.

Have a good day

Love "back to hassle accountant" Sarah

:mad:

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hi karen, my kids are zoe 23 she lives with her boyfriend and she is a senior care worker. natasha is 21 does not work. james is 19 does not work michaela is 16 does not work carrick is 15 he had better work and shania is 4 and shes hard work im 46 and ready for the knackers yard . nevermind eh today is a better day hope you are all well . going to play in the sand pit now he he .love eileen.

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Hi Eileen,

You are funny! :lol: At least you've still got your sense of humour ... :lol:

Hope that you have a good day ...... just hope that mine is also better than yesterday.....went to bed with a stinking headache again and ended up taking codeine for it.

Oh well, let's see what fun and games today brings!:wink:

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