minan Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am new here, and wonder if there has been any discussion around this topic. When I first had my SAH's, I had such intense battles with the people that I thought would be there for me. This ranged from my own aggression during hospitalization (fueled by meds I was on) + my caregivers' angry response, as well their own aggression and venting frustration upon me, inappropriately. Example: Boyfriend (a burned out caregiver himself for others) broke up with me in the ER. Parents' stress (caring for more than me) and blaming me for depression... etc. This all provoked an intense depression that has only begun to lift as I began to heal. And I saw life in a new way: I am alone. There is no one who will really ever be there for me. "Normalcy" has begun to return, which I am grateful for, but the existential crisis is not completely gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Hi, I had SAH, Ventriculitus, Sepsis and my life has changed, I have changed but I am so happy to be alive, each day is a bonus for me...try singing, smiling and making others happy if possible......look towards the future and SMILE....try not to dwell on past to much ... Good luck Winb143 x smile come on !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionaH Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Whilst trying to have a positive outlook is always a good attitude Win it's not always possible sadly. Minan it sounds like you've had a lot of difficult relationship stuff to deal with that would be difficult even without an SAH. Caregiver burnout is a very real thing. I have felt it myself when looking after others in the past and can see too the strain it is for my husband sometimes looking after me. I don't know if there has been much discussion on the topic before but hope others will feel able to give their experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Hi Fi, I know how shattered my hubby and daughter got visiting me for over 4 months and I wasn't talking, moving and had was ill on top of the SAH. ie Ventriculitus..Sepsis I sometimes get down and think why me!...then I think... I'm Special....if I never thought this I would be on a downer and that isn't fair to my Family...So we have to try and be positive for the ones we Love.... I swim ...and I am learning to walk again..for my Family..and Myself ...oh and the dogs !!! It is easier to say Smile....but we have to smile or else we bring those around us down. Ok Win stop getting serious cheer up , cya xxxx..off to give my hubby a hug Keep well Winb143 x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Minan Welcome I hope you find some peace here and someone who you can relate to so as not to feel so isolated. Since this wonderful site started none of us are ever alone Minan, there is usually someone who has had similar problems to deal with as yours what ever your problem may be.Your not alone anymore Minan. I am glad you are healing and the depression is lifting. Keep talking here, good that you found this site! Hugs xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Oh Win don't ever change you always make me smile and help me re form a positive aproach to my condition! :confused:it may not always be possible to acheive a positive outlook but it certainly helps knowing that others have overcome difficulties worse than mine and managed to bring joy back into their lives even if it is often overshadowed by illness and difficulties from time to time!! Such as life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Maggie, You are a great person.. and you have a great smile...... Remember to keep those eyes twinkling brightly always !!! Love WinB143 x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minan Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Minan Welcome I hope you find some peace here and someone who you can relate to so as not to feel so isolated. Since this wonderful site started none of us are ever alone Minan, there is usually someone who has had similar problems to deal with as yours what ever your problem may be.Your not alone anymore Minan. I am glad you are healing and the depression is lifting. Keep talking here, good that you found this site! Hugs xxx Maggie, thanks so much for these caring thoughts - it means a lot to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Hello Minan And warm welcome to the site, Aw you've been through hell but now things are starting to lift I do so hope it makes you see stuff more clearly, tho have to say I too thought at least I could count on my husband and Dad and then they sent me into rehab I thought why! but they did that because I needed it but I just couldnt see that then I felt such a fool when I realised but that wasnt who I was so it didnt matter.... Someone that blames you for their depression arent worth having around...... Im glad you found this site to know that your not alone.... take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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