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Behaviour After SAH - Please Help


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Hello lovelies, hope everyone is fine :)

Ok, where to start..some of you have been following my Introduce Yourself topic, my partner Chris had SAH 4th Feb 2012 clipped on the 6th. Chris is now in a HDU ward which is fantastic because last week he was so ill and his life was touch and go. He has made great steps. He has a frontal lobe SAH on his right side, his left arm and leg now have a fair bit of movement, he can do sums, knows mine and our boys names and generally can recall a lot! So that is fab. Now I don't really feel I have the right to be upset as he could have died but his behaviour is disturbing me. Now I know the frontal lobes are connected to emotion, decisions, etc but he is talking very sexually all the time, swearing and cursing, and making some really nasty comments to other visitors, patients, drs and nurses. He has even been nasty ans spitful towards a small child, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Am I being selfish? I know he can't help this, I understand fully that his brain has been through so much but I do find some of his outbursts distressing. I ignore it and chat with him about all sorts but I was wondering if this will ever get better. I so don't want Chris to be left like this. I worry now when I visit him, even tho I would never not go and see him I feel very anxious that he gonna be way way over the top. Now, its only been just over 2 weeks, I know I can't expect him to be all back to normal but has anyone ever had this or had to cope with this extreme lack of inhibition? I must sound silly and should be thankful that he us alive but I can't help feeling so worried he will stay like this.

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Ok, lol, after reading some updates on my introduce thread I realise that this really is quite normal and I should just concentrate on chris getting better and stop focusing on his chat right now. :) I am staying positive. Ty everyone here you are all so adorable and lovely and I value all your support so very much xxxx

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Ahh Alison honey don't be so tough on yourself. You're a lil star and coping so well.

Has Chris been assigned a Neuro Nurse Specialist yet? It would be worth having a chat with them about things.

Take care and keep smiling,

SL Xx

Edited by SarahLou
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Ty SL hugs. I do try to stay as positive as possible and with all the help, advice and support I have got from so many kind ppl here I am still smiling :) xxxx I feel so much better reading everyones replies today. This wonderful site is a true gem, don't know where I would be without the thought of being able to come here and be with ppl who truly understand xx

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  • 1 month later...
Ty SL hugs. I do try to stay as positive as possible and with all the help, advice and support I have got from so many kind ppl here I am still smiling :) xxxx I feel so much better reading everyones replies today. This wonderful site is a true gem, don't know where I would be without the thought of being able to come here and be with ppl who truly understand xx

Hi my name is Mike im 2 years post op for sah and i can say for certain the journey from now on is very hard but pls stay focused and in time it does get better. I found ive cream and a dark towel over my head very soothing and lots of baths with ears under water... I am off to the royal free hospital next month for my mri and mra scans my daughter has been through hell with me over 2 yrs but with her help n love we are winning gl xx

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hope your MRI goes all good Mike. Thank you for your support and for sharing your experiences. Chris's behaviour has calmed down a lot thank goodness, He still has the odd day when he may be inappropriate but I can now cope with things much better. I know now that Chris will always be a little bit different from before. Even tho he is in a little denial of his exact state, day to day its been a bit easier. I am learning to cope and put in place new routines to deal with things. I try to stay calm and be lighthearted as often as poss. I have had a couple of bad days with Chris when he has been extremely demanding but we getting there :)

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Hi Alison,

hope you don't mind me replying, but this is a long game you are playing, patience is a virtue. unfortunately it can also be a pain in the backside whilst you wait for improvements, but they will come! I used the saying below the other day replying to someone else. It must have been here that I saw it "even the longest journey starts with a single step" and it is so very true. It's such a great saying and sums everything up about a SAH, but I couldn't remember where I saw it. Sorry for the plagiarism. Your partner is so lucky to have a girl like you rooting for him. My partner, Sandra, is also a gem and she has been there for me since I had my SAH in Sept 10. Not bad for someone who woke up and told the nurse I thought she was beautiful in front of my partner who I did not recognise at the time! Now we are getting married in September this year ( me and Sandra, that is, not the nurse!!!). So strange things happen inside brains and they take a long time to come out sometimes. So have patience, maybe keep a diary, and look through it from time to time and you will be amazed at the improvements occurring. They might not mean much to others, but you will recognise them and the fight that has gone into achieving them. Good luck Alison!

Macca

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Thanks Macca, great post :)

Yes I realise its a long old road we are walking here. I have kept a diary, i started it the day Chris first had his SAH, i do look back and think wow! Chris has come a long way all ready even tho its early in his recovery. Chris is a smart guy, his memory is impeccable, I am thankful we can still have a laugh together amongst the tough times :) I have been with Chris 23 years, we never married, we both just too lazy to ever sort it out but maybe will now, he has asked me a few times lately...giggles. Your lady sounds a wonderful girl, so brill to hear you getting married and i wish you every happiness in your life together. When i read messages like yours, the light at the end of the tunnels glows brighter so i thank you for taking the time to post.

Alison x

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