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Hello, I'm Debs in Pierrefonds, Quebec


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I just found this forum and joined - my PM-NASAH was on 4 Nov. 2011.

I was shopping for a piece of furniture that had just gone on sale, and when I lifted it onto the dolly to go to the cash I felt something give. I knew right away something wasn't right. As I waited in the line at the cash, I debated not going through with the purchase - after all, I'd waited months for the thing to go on sale! Finally, I got out of the line and just left everything and walked to my car.

My next debate was wether or not to go straight to the hospital. I decided to go home first, as I didn't want to have my purse with me, so I drove 10km home. The I called a friend and asked him to come and take me to the hospital.

He got to the house about a half hour later, and we had to go to his place first so he could eat something, as he'd just taken his medications on an empty stomach. Then he took me to the hospital. I got there about 3 hours after the event, and by this time I was in agony with the pain.

It was another 5 hours before the docs did a scan and then boy, did things start moving at a faster pace! I ended up in the neuro ICU for 3 days, and on morphine for 4 days. I was released from the hospital after I could walk up the corridor and back with a walker - 10 days after the event.

I was finally able to go home 3 months later when I could walk up my front steps again - 4 steps! It was 7 months before I began to feel somewhat normal, though I still have headaches and short-term memory loss. And trouble sleeping. And I get confused still at times - especially when people talk too rapidly to me.

I still feel like I could go at any time - and I'm frankly not sure surviving did me any favors, but I'm going to go with it anyway and hope it makes more sense at some point.

I've just put my house on the market, as I feel I'd be better off in a condo that's all on one level. Fortunately, I guess, I was unemployed when it happened, and am just now feeling like I might be able to look for work again.

But I tire easily and have very little stamina. Or patience. And I'm on blood pressure meds now, which I wasn't before - my bp was 188/130 the day of the event, and they started me on them in the hospital. And they work. I also gave up coffee completely for the first 7 months after, but now I have 1 cup in the morning, just to feel human again.

So, I think I'm not recovered yet, but it's slowly getting better. It's nice to have found this group.

~Debs

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Welcome to BTG Debs. Glad you found us - a great place to be amongst others who have experienced the same thing.

The way you describe feeling now is very common, but can still improve for you. I hope you manage to find some work eventually, perhaps start with a few hours if possible as working with tiredness is not easy as I'm sure others on here would agree.

You can gain a lot from reading other people's experiences on here, but if you want to ask anything specific, just shout up and someone will come along and try and help.

Sorry to hear you didn't get that piece of furniture you'd waited so long for:frown:

Take care

Sarah

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Hi Debs,

welcome to BTG. We're glad you found us too! We can help you but you can help us too, to have a greater understanding of this condition. Everyone has similar, yet different experiences but they all go to understanding this jigsaw - and there isn't anything more complex yet amazing than this thing called the human brain!

Your confidence will have taken a knock, but you will get it back over time as you will your abilities and talents. With regards to your stamina you will learn to adjust, we all have to some degree or another!

There are great people on here and we all try to help one another.

If you want to rant, let it rip and someone will always help - sometimes just listening is a help - great to have you on board

Macca

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Debs,

Your progression sounds very similar to mine. You can read all my morbid writings here too. As the time goes, new challenges await, but others resolve themselves. You are just a few months behind me. I just had my 1yr anniversary and I am still dealing with the fall out and grief. I also feel very lucky that I wasn't working when mine happened. They labeled me perimesencephalic and just went on with their lives. My life stopped on that day (literally and figuratively) and a new person has been emerging ever since. I loved how you put it that you just live because you're alive. That was my feeling for so long and I still find myself not really caring if the end came right now, but it doesn't mean that I want to cause it to end...if it did though, I wouldn't really mind one way or the other.

However, I've come to understand that being close to death also brings with it a new appreciation for life. It's weird that they are so connected and yet opposite. I hope you'll find the joy and peace of your new life as well. Hang in there and always search for it.

~Kris

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