side effect of SAH

[loretta963]

Hi. My husband had a Non-aneurysm SAH one year ago. Thankfully, he had and has no debilitating issues as a result of it.

I wanted to ask if anyone out there knows if one "side effect" of this trauma is moodiness or, moreso, lack of patience. My husband was always a very positive, energetic man and very rarely lost his cool. It took a lot for him to get really angry. This past year, and it seems to be getting worse, everything makes him angry.

We have talked about it a few times. He admits he seems to be going through some sort of depression. He is still having a hard time accepting that his headaches and fatigue, as a result of the SAH, are not gone. He expected to "lick this thing" by now for sure and that has him down. I suggested therapy for him or both of us and he refuses.

Can anyone who has gone through this at least tell me if this anger issue may be normal and maybe how I might better handle things. Thanks so, so much.

[Karen]

Hi Loretta,

It's not uncommon to experience what your Husband is going through.

Depression and anxiety is pretty common amongst SAH'ers from this site, as is post traumatic stress syndrome. Not many people are recovered at 12 months, so it may be worth getting a Doctor's appointment with your Husband and having a chat?

I can only advise to keep the lines of communication open with your Husband, it will get better for you both over a period of time, but it does need time, so you will need to be patient.

Have you asked him what makes him feel angry? I would suggest asking him at a "good" moment, when neither of you are fractious and just have a good heart to heart talk. xx

[paul99]

hi loretta

yes it is one of the side short tempered loss of the temprant moods is a well known side effect maybe he needs to talk to someone see your gp and see if hubby can be reffered for counciling for ptsd it may help big time many on here will testify to that end , welcome to the site and i know many on here will support both your hubby and yourself through the transisition wishing you both well sorry i wrote this as karen was posting

[winter]

Hi Loretta.

Sorry you're both having a difficult time now. It can be so frustrating and emotionally draining when dealing with all the emotions and feelings that come with certain affects after SAH.

Karen is right! Few survivors, including myself, are at a place they expect to be after a year (and sometimes longer).

I thought at that 1 year mark, I would be back to my "normal" self. What a surprise. All too often we have no idea what to expect and even a lot of the medical professionals don't know what to expect either, possibly because they don't have much experience with SAH survivors.

It's really important right now for you to take care of yourself, too. You mentioned counseling for him or both of you. It might be helpful for you to seek counseling for yourself, so you can learn some techniques and ways to handle your own feelings - that will help you be better able to cope with what's happened and not take on all the negativity from his anger and actions.

You've both had to deal with a major, life-changing event.

Keep talking to him, as Karen suggested. Hopefully he'll come around soon and the healing process will continue!

Come into the Green Room often. We're all here to help one another

Keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing energy your way, for strength and patience each day.

Big hugs to you,

Carolyn

[Jigsaw]

Hi Loretta, Im sorry your husband is in a bad place at the moment. My SAH was just over a year ago - for the first 4/6 months I was quite relaxed and was happy just sitting and watching my family and life go on around me. From 6 months up to now I do not recognise myself most of the time, I get angry and upset at the slightest thing and always think I am letting people down or they are having a go at me! Ive kind of lost my way and sometimes just want to hide away. People say its a bereavement of your former self, which does make sense. I realise how hard it must be for you but for myself I just need time to calm down and for my family to listen to me rant sometimes and then give me a big hug which Im sure you do for your husband. Take care, Linda xx

[kpaggett]

I'll just talk about 'lack of patience' I have the same thing. My neuropsychologist told me that it was all neurological in that I don't want to be that way, but it just comes over me sometimes and not others. Waiting in lines. Wanting an answer from someone. It could be anything or sometimes I'm fine and I'm plenty patient.

I'm just over a year and still recovering...but doing better and better. I hope this is true for your husband.

~Kris

[MaryB]

Hi Loretta,

After 16 months I seem to now lose my cool more than ever & get in their face when I am wronged or whatever the situation. This only happens at work. I hold my tongue much at home as my husband does not deserve to know what I am thinking as I know I am wrong & probably over reacting. But at work I can really lose it.

I can be pretty patience in store lines etc...and in public even at home but work sends me over the edge. I could almost cross the line there. Not sure what that is all about right now.

MaryB

[Sandi K]

H Loretta,

I've always been impatient but since SAH it's harder for me to hide it. At the same time i recognize more easily when people are struggling and I'm more sympathetic (empathetic maybe). I speak up more often when I'm unhappy with something now. I seem to see through people when they are saying something but mean something else. Life is short and I don't want to waste my time on stuff that doesn't matter or isn't true or real. I have also lost my temper very loudly with family members which is something new since SAH. My priorities have changed and it's become clear what is really important, when it's important to me I'll say it.

I'm trying to remember to talk about things before I get angry. Sometimes though when I'm feeling so tired and head hurts and the fatigue takes over it's just too hard to think about the right way to say something diplomatically. So out it comes. It's those times when it's all I can do to get a few words out. Short sentences with just enough words but often lots of feeling packed behind the words. It's because I feel so awful and wham, the person standing there isn't just hearing the answer to their question, they are hearing the answer packed with all the emotion of how I'm feeling in that moment. It's frustration for not having enough energy to express myself appropriately too. For not being able to think and participate in a conversation because I feel so awful.

I'm 2 years along in recovery now and the overwhelming fatigue is happening less often but it's not gone away. When I'm feeling it my husband and I know that I need 'quiet time' and we have to defer our conversation until my brain is ready again.

Sandi K.